Why do I get jealous for a guy Im attracted but we are not even a couple or in a relationship?

There is this guy I met 3 years ago and we h ad gone out on dates just twice and at the end of each date a make out session (nothing real intimate). The guy knows Im attracted to him. We are not a couple or bf/gf or in a serious relationship, we are lets say Friends. The guy had proposed me last year to get laid but I have lets say refuse him the 2 times he has offered. Just month ago again he propose but even though I really did nto say no, thae day he wanted us to meet I could not meet with him as I was not at home the day he texted me (without previous planning, out of the blue text) so he got all bothered and told me we were dragging this too long and asked me "what is your fear? I even suggested him we could meet the following week but he did not respond

The thing is that yesterday he posted on his FB account a photo of him with a lady friend. According to the caption he posted it seems they had been Friends for many years, probably even before I met this guy 3 years ago. It seems the lady was in town or she lives in another city (im just assuming as it seems that way not that it is the truth which I dont know what is it anyway) and came to town and took advantage of his visit to visit her old Friends so she visited this guy, it seems they were very close friends. They took both a pic of the 2 of them together with a caption that made me believe they are very old Friends (he caption "the best buddy of all times"). The guy was holding a box of Cuban cigers (he smokes cigars) and showing it off and it was the lady friend who bought him those cigars straight from Cuba. They both were smiling. This guy also is the best friend of my male cousin for more than 25 years, probably she is another of those very old Friends this guy has.

It got me jealous when I saw that pic of the guy and the lady and Im assuming all kind of stuff, like he won't talk to me anymore, or contact me anymore.
if i get to contact him again becaue he was bothered I did not meet with him last time to get laid. Beause we are Friends last year I went to Europe I brought him 3 souvenirs which he thanked me of course. I brought him things that no friend of him will ever buy if that person does not visit the city I was.
Maybe he lost interest with me because just I did not put out when HE wanted but that I dont know, im assuming. We are in mid 40´s.
Im not saying he is banging this chick, but I got jealous
just to se him with another lady and the guy and I are not even in a relationship or a couple but he assumes we know long enough to get to the next phase: sex. he told me that back in March Sincé we met 3 years ago, let me be clear since we are no even a couple, we just had been on 2 dates and the other times we had seen face to face had been 4 times in family gatherings not even in dates that is all I had mingle with him since I met him 3 years ago.


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  • You're story is a bit confusing. I would say if you like him have a conversation with him about committing to an exclusive relationship. My assumption is you're jealous because you like him, and probably didn't think there was competition at play.

    • I do like him and attracted to him and he knows it but he is not a guy to be in an exclusive relationship or steady one just like I said in the post we are not a couple or in a relationship we are more like friends

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    • No. I felt jealous for this guy because this is the guy I am currently attracted to and even though we are not in a relationship or we are really a couple and we are friends I dotn know what gets to me to be jealous about. Maybe because it is the very first time in my life I really feel jealousy for a guy I like and in my younger years never ever that happened.

      We had gone out tiwice in dates but that was last year.

    • Hence why I stated you should probably reevaluate your wants and needs in a relationship---- doesn't mean it has to be a dating relationship, or marriage or whatever. Clearly if you are jealous, then you need to make changes, to yourself, to what extent this person is involved. Changes of some kind. Doesn't mean it has to be a relationship.

  • Its all because you have true feelings for him thats why you always get jealous. But getting jealous is not a baf thing it shows you are very close to him and doesn't matter if you are 40 plus. You still have the heart beating inside your body, you are still young honey.

    But the point is do he loves you back? Because after reading every detail it makes me feel like he is just interested in putting you down on bed and have sex. We know that sex is natural and boys want to bang any girl which comes in their way but you have to make the smart choice and think before getting intimate that is he worth of your body. Because physical love will never last for long

    • is it that I have true feelings? Well it be my very first time I have feelings for someone then because I never had abf before in my life or even dated guys or evne hang out with guys ever ever, this is the first guy that I meat who I really am attracted and he turns me on.

      Liek I said we are not in a relationship or a bf/gf to even love each other. There is no love between us at all, jsut attraction from my part but then I got jealous. Possible he just want sex that is sure. The thing is that im not getting any younger (im 47) to keep waiting for my prince charming to come and take my V card hehe!! Maybe when I hit 50? haha I dont plan to get married either in my future, maybe when I was younger and I met guys and under other circumstances i could have thought differently and wanted to get married and form a family, not anymore.

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    • Im. serious so no take the plunge in my particular case?

    • But you said that giys will nevet loose the sex intterest if you adk mych tome after he prposed and i said o

  • Well good for him. Sounds like he's moving on in life.

    • Liek i said we were never in a real relationship

    • I never mentioned anything about a relationship. I only mentioned the fact that it's good that he recognised that he should move on to the next one.

    • no way

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