boyfriend and I broke up because I was losing myself and not happy anymore, says things should be better in the future when we both are established?

I was with this guy, on and off because of arguments. On my end, it was being blown way out of proportion, and to both of us it seems it’s because I have been unemployed for a few months now and I don’t have my permit either. I am currently working towards these things, in the meantime I’ve had too much time to think about stuff and therefore our little spats had me affected the most, because I didn’t have a distraction like he does (work, he drives). Anyways, he broke it off with me because of this, because he wants me to focus on myself and him too. I am doing the best I can these days, and whenever we broke up he wanted to continue speaking to me and hanging out. I agreed , and we are still like this, he still calls me and texts me every day and night. At first I was okay with it, but it hit me that we’re not together and that he can go and talk to other girls now... he says he isn’t, that he’s ignoring people for me. I believe him, but I don't know how long I can keep this up. Because what if he meets someone? My friend suggested I keep in contact with him, as in, keep each other on the side because you never know what could happen. She said if he meets someone else then I’m strong enough to move on. I don't know if I am, truthfully , prepared for that. On one hand I wanna distance myself so he can miss me, on another hand, I love him and it’ll be hard for me to just stop... him too, I don’t thinj he’ll be happy about it. I wanna cry when I think about him being with someone else. At the same time I don’t wanna be irrational... what do I do? *btw our families know each other so I may see him from time to time. I’m just afraid he’ll meet someone who is more established than I am and our contact will be less and less... I don’t know.
we live almost an hour away from each other so him being the only one driving is understandably exhausting. And I’ll admit I was not behaving ambitiously. We still love each other, but I’m scared the rug will be pulled from under me.
I’m doing what I can to take care of myself, not iust for him, but for me. It was definitely a wake up call though. So, In the meantime I should be focusing on me, and not worrying about relationship stuff. However, a big part of me is afraid I’ll lose him. What do I do? I’m thinking this is my chance to not only be successful , but prove to him I’m more than capable of being happy and ambitious again, like how I was before... but im scared he’ll meet someone before that happens.


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What Girls & Guys Said

  • You want him back, ok then you just gotta make your self better, like getting your license, or getting a job. After doing those, it will make you better, but you want him back, so have a time limit. You have to show him that your better, before he found someone else. STOP being sad, cause that's not gonna help bring him back. What I'm trying to say is, instead of being sad, turn it into a wakeup call, or be angry at yourself.

    • This is the sweetest answer! And you read the whole thing:’) Thank you so much :) In the meantime, is it healthy to keep talking to him? He prefers we keep in contact because he doesn’t wanna lose me from his life. I’m a little concerned about myself though, how I can handle it... there are days when I’m okay, and there are days when I feel totally sad and worried.

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    • We’ve been talking, and when I don’t call or text he gets surprised and calls me. Some days I’m happy and normal and other days I just burst into tears out of nowhere. Like the times when he would tell me he loves me, it turned into take care bye and if I’m sad he asks why and says he hopes I feel better and that’s it. I miss being nurtured and loved. I miss being wanted. Most days I’m perfectly fine but tonight I miss him and all I want is for him to come see me.

    • I’m torn because we both do see a future together with each other, but we’re choosing not to be official because I’m gonna be focusing on myself and the commute is hard for one person to go through, that and the fact that I don’t have a job yet and I have interviews to go soon but me not busy has caused our arguments to begin and to end dramatically. I’m trying my best to fix it, but until then I’m just conflicted with how to deal with things.

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