Why do women flip out if a guy friend develops feelings for them?

I have been friends with this girl for about five months now - we work together, hang out, whatnot. I wasn't really attracted to her at first for a couple reasons but now I'm finding that I really like her. I read a lot of posts on here about it and decided to be direct but not in a huge way - I told her that I think I'm developing feelings for her and she went berserk, accused me of deceiving her, being a creep, all sorts of weird sh*t. Needless to say I'm a bit turned off towards her now and I doubt I'll be speaking to her again as that's just plain crazy stuff.

I figured it was random but reading this site it seems a LOT of girls say that guy friends who develop feelings for them are bad people. So I guess my question is, girls why do you think this? Can't you understand that people can DEVELOP FEELINGS OVER TIME? Or are you so naive to think that people either become attracted instantly or never at all?

Yeah that's a bit strange, telling someone to choose isn't the best. All I said was that I was starting to find her attractive and wondered if she felt the same way - she said that she found me attractive so I suggested a date and then KABOOM.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I had a similar scenario last year with whom I though was a close friend (we had been for over 5 years) I had a boyfriend and all and for the first few years he had a long term girlfriend then 2 weeks prior to my birthday he spills his undying love for me and told me to choose between him and my boyfriend. Super SHADY! We haven't spoken since...And I am still with my boyfriend :)

    There is a reason you're her "guy friend" ...she wasn't interested then she won't be she may give in to pity later but yeah it's a no go.


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What Girls Said 2

  • That's odd. I've never felt it was gross if a guy friend developed feelings for me. I'd feel a bit weird/awkward around them at first because I'm not sure how to act anymore, but it's never a gross feeling. I thought that was more reserved for younger girls.

  • Let it go before you are branded as creepy o_0


What Guys Said 1

  • You know what makes me laugh? if you ask a ton of women about this subject a bunch of them will tell you its better to start as friends first and then become lovers.

    They will all say that its the best way to develop a relationship.

    Women feel this way about men who are friends, their feelings toward them are like that of a brother.

    So of course its gross and weird.

    Its not logical that they should feel this way, because obviously you don't have the same blood.

    But women follow their feelings and not what's logical.