My boyfriend pays for everything?

Okay so I just recently lost my job and I'm still looking. My boyfriend pays for everything, my food when we go out and all. We aren't living together bur I'm always at his house and we like to eat out a lot. I feel so guilty because he always gotta pay for everything... And i wanna spoil him but i can't. Its so embarrassing and annoying. Sometimes i feel lik he dont always wanna. Like if i say "babe I'm hungry" he knows it means i wanna go get some to eat but he jus kinda avoids it. I feel bad being broke, i kinda wannna tell him that iont wanna do anything nomore till i get a job because this eating me up. Should i talk to him about it? I would but I'm scared. by the way I'm 19 and he 21

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627

Most Helpful Guy

  • Life comes with ups and downs just because you lost your job and you are feeling as a dead weight over your boyfriend you don't need to overthink it. A relationship needs commitment and trust that a couple stays together with same love and compassion on a sunny or rainy days.
    Keep looking for a job , and tell him how sad ya feel, and how lucky you are to have him beside you. Also I like one of the suggestion about how you could rather than asking to go out for Food you could try to cook his favourite meals, helping him with his house chores, not intending to imply it as a payback but do it to spend more time together.

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    • Yes you're right, thank u so much. I will tell him that. And actually, he lives with his mom, but he helps pays bills so she doesn't care about who comes, I try not to be around his mom much, she kind of funny acting, we dont cook, i will talk to him about that. I always offer to do everything for him. Wash his clothes, clean his room, I'll cook, give him messages, paint his room, anything he wants I'll do.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, stop saying you're hungry and making him feel like he has to take you out to eat. Instead say hey let's make something to eat, tastes better and healthier. Talk to him, especially since you mentioned he seems annoyed.

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    • Lol well, i barely ever say "babe im hungry" (maybe twice) he wouldn't let me go hungry. I only say it if I'm really really hungry. He doesn't get annoyed he just kind of... I can't explain it. We love going out. He hates sittin around. Thats why we eat out.

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What Girls & Guys Said

526
  • I think you should talk to him and explain how you feel

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  • If you live together, earn it by cleaning house every day, lot of guys value sex a lot.. And they are happy if you give them often, cook for him.. Just be like "house-wife" until you find a job..

    Harder is when you are living separately.. there is not much what can you do.

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    • Yeah we dont live together so i can't do much sadly. I do what i can. It makes me feel guilty that i can't do much

    • Its pretty important to feel guilty about that, because at least you aren't some gold digger. Just tell him and after you find job, pay for something what will have equal value (trip, etc). If you will plan this, you will feel less guilty with "repaying" it back.

  • Kindnesses doesn't need to be payed immediately, but it should be repayed when the opportunity arrives. So don't stresss but perhaps don't make eat as much hahah

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    • Thanks and you're right, i wi try not to eat as much lol. Maybe talk to him about me cooking instead.

  • Yes, tell him how you feel. Sure he won't say anything because he's the man but he has obviously noticed it.
    Tell him how you feel, tell him you're grateful for him to do that. Be very clear that you're not taking it for granted.

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  • A healthy relationship needs communication, talk to him and you can work out a compromise with him that makes you both feel good.

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  • If it were my girl she would have my debit card in her wallet, no ones hungry.

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  • Just make it up to him with some surprise sex or a random blow job. He's willing to pay to take care of you, let him know you appreciate it.

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  • Start stripping. Seriously you'll make more than him in a day than he does in a week. He should understand

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    • Horrible answer !!

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    • I guess you just don't feel bad ENOUGH yet for mooching everything. Js the ends CAN justify the means. Single moms do it all the time and girls who wanna work only 2 days a month n make over $1000

    • Your only young and hot ONCE in your life, if I could I would forsure lol I'll windmill my wang in some cougar/old ladies face if it meant I'll have more money than I knew what to do with... girls have it so easy >.>...

  • Learn to cook and make him a good meal at home or when you sleep over surprise him in the morning in a sexy out fit with a breakfast in bed it will be more appreciated for his efforts

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  • Just tell him that you don't feel comfortable with the fact that he pays everything for you. He will understand. But you also have to learn to live more sober

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  • Don't be scared... It's a value to the relationship if you can speak honestly about everything.
    He will appreciate it :)

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  • Just tell him how you feel. Also, maybe ask his help about actively searching for a job. As your boyfriend he will dote on you.

    P. S. Must you always dine out?

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  • Well, he's doing a VERY good job of caring for you! He's such a gentleman! Well, all you can do is look for a job, and in the meantime, be a good person, and look after him too!

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  • Well if he doesn't seem to mind don't worry. He obviously loves you and doesn't want to see you with no money.

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  • If he does that it means he loves you and if you think he does it a lot talk to him about it. Its better to tell him than to keep it secret

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  • Just do it. Why you need to put it to public approval? It's your relationship.

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  • Then just mention it and try and not ask him for much. I'm sure he has responsibilities to take care of besides you so try not to take advantage.

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    • I never ever have asked for him ANYTHING. Never, he always offers. He dont have much responsibilities, he helps his mom pay bills and a few of his bills. He makes good money also

    • Bullshit. Saying I'm hungry in front of someone who has money obviously implies you want to go out to eat. Don't say technically he offered. You're delusional if you don't think those kind of comments aren't an attempt to get him to buy you food.

  • Next time ur hungry tell him so and ask what he wants you to cook.

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  • Just tell him how you feel first he sounds like that would make him happy

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  • Talk to him -_-"
    He's your boyfriend, figure this shit out! that's how couple work things out, and not, by posting it online for suggestions.

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    • I post for advice, not for solution's. If u read i said i was scared to talk to him about it, iont want him feeling bad or thinking im ungrateful. He's different then most guys and sometimes I don't know how he gonna react to things but i do plan on talking to him, i might.

    • The advice would be, Just be yourself and speak nothing but the truth, things will work out just fine.

  • He probably enjoys it but you two need to try cooking more, you can get a great bonding experience

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  • I have often compared myself to others but now I'm content with who I am.

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  • Why dont u move in save money and use it on him

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    • Because he stays with his mom but he pays bills there so she never cares when I'm there, she barely there. We have talked about getting a place together but i rather wait till i get a job so i can help contribute to paying bills.

  • That's how a man should be, right there.

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  • Nothing wrong with that

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  • He so much love you

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  • Just limit it much as possible

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  • Dun be scared, if u feel the need then do it

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  • We guys are used to that. Don’t worry about it, just don’t start in with a silly “little girl cute voice” when you want something. It’s retarded

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  • Wow why dont get a job? Or cook at home

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    • Lol I don't know where u at but getting a job isn't that simple nowadays. I look everyday, i might have one after an interview. I did say i was looking and we dont live together, Thats why we dont cook and we lik going out

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    • Lol i do like it, he spoiling me how can i not like it? But you right i can cook and take him on a nice picnic.

    • Then why you say you dont like it lol

  • What does he do at 21 ? I'm curious?

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    • Construction

    • If what he spends on you doesn't affect him much (depends on how much he earns and how much he spends on you), I'd suggest you not to be bothered by it. But if spending on you is costing him real, you should talk to him about how you feel. Meanwhile, get yourself together. My parents financed me till I graduated from college and got my job, I don't know about you, but if not a job, you should at least ask your parents first for financial help than your boyfriend.

    • Yes my mom helps me some. Im in college and she still helps me from time to time when she can. And i dont ask him for anything, ever. He always offer. He dont spend too much on me. He makes like almost 800-1000 a week working so much

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