Emotionally Unavailable Guy. Tell him I love him or keep quiet?

I met a guy through work. I was crushing on him straight away but thought he was way out of my league. But he started flirting, it progressed from there. We started hooking up for sex but then after a few weeks he became distant. I really feel like he fell for me when he wasn’t intending too. Just the way he was during sex made me think he was into more than just my body.

But he can’t handle his emotions, he is what you call Emotionally Unavailable. We’ve spoken about it & agreed to just be friends, nothing more right now & see what happens. But I’m finding it very hard to do because I am in love with him & I honestly think he feels the same but he can’t handle it.

We talk all the time, sometimes up till 2am texting. He flirts with me, I catch him staring at me an awful lot & yesturday he said I look hot in white & said he finds me incredibly attractive. But he just wants friendship at the moment because he can’t deal with anything more & that’s OK because I don’t need a relationship right now. But it’s very hard just being friends when I want to just kiss him whenever I see him. We have a no touching rule because he has a serious effect on me with the smallest touch, I find it difficult when he touches me when sex is off the menu. It was his idea to not have sex.

He says he cares about me & I’m special but he just can’t deal with emotions or talk openly about the way he feels. It’s obvious he cares about me from the way he acts around me & from talking all the time. But from just talking every day, I’m falling more and more for him!

I can cope with waiting for him, I’m very patient but I can’t cope with hiding the way I feel about him. I feel I can’t tell him I love him because I don’t want to pressure him! I’ve said I wouldn’t pressure him & he’s in control of the situation. But I have to face the possibility he can never deal with his emotions, what if he decides he can only ever be friends?

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  • I think he should work his problem. There are self-help groups, professional help and other possibilities.

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  • Don't say you love him if he's emotionally unavailable. Honestly move on. You'll get hurt in the end

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