Girls, Should I keep talking to her and keep my eye open for someone else, or just move on and never look back?

Hello. First of all thanks for answering everyone. I have been talking to a woman who works as an aid at the hospital I work at. We met about 8 months ago when I was in housekeeping, but I have since moved to the ER as an aid myself while I work my way through nursing school. We hit it off pretty quickly and I decided to ask her on a date. The problem was that she never seemed to have time for this reason or that. There was always a reason why she couldn't make it and although she does live about an hour out of town, I offered to meet her in the middle or even drive to her. She said no and I left it at that, but then she said she was going to be in town and we could get coffee together. We showed up, had a great time, and spent 4 hours just sitting in the coffee shop talking about nonsense without realizing it. Fast forward 4 months later and she still refused a second date, but was actively and obviously flirting with me. She was sending me selfies, winks, blushing when I saw her at work, and messaged me almost everyday. She never dropped any bombs like "you're such a good friend" or "you're like my brother". She always giggled and laughed when I teased her about being my girlfriend someday soon. The trouble is that it has been 8 months and I have been trying to get her phone number so wee could at least talk on the phone, but she refused that multiple times too with no explanation. She only wanted to talk over Facebook. So , I decided enough was enough and I decided to be blunt with her and tell her that I needed to know where she stood with me. She said I was a nice guy, and that she does like me and enjoys talking to me, but it wasn't a good time for her to be in a serious relationship. Between work, school, taking care of her grandparents who live two hours away, and how far away she lives from me, it just wasn't fair to either of us. So, my question is this. The thing is, I never know if these things are a flat out rejection or a not right now kind of deal.


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you truly like her then you could wait. But his could take forever.

    • I realize that. It would probably be years. That's why I said I'd keep my eyes open for someone else, but I have pretty high standards as far as personality goes. Not a lot of women catch my eye around here, and I work hard to meet those standards myself.

    • The romantic thing to do is wait for her. I feel like that should be what I should say. But really, I wouldn't. I would keep talking to her as a friend, and at the same time look for someone else. But don't lie to her about it

    • I know, but I've played the waiting game before and it just backfires. I don't even know to what extent she likes me. I told her I was going to wait a few weeks and keep looking. I don't want her to feel like she's obligated to be in a relationship she doesn't want when there is time or feel like she's hurting me. The only reason I would stop talking to her completely is if she started seeing someone else under the same circumstances. No time for disrespect like that.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Move on. There is no point in waiting around for someone who *might* decide to someday make time for you. If she is too busy to make time for you then it is her loss and not your problem but hers. Why waste time.


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