Do you think online dating apps are ruining today’s dating game?

I feel as though online dating apps are training everyone to settle for being a hookup, fling, or a temporary person in someone’s life. I feel like online dating apps are allowing so many people a way to cheat on their partner also. I tried pof and noticed so many men are only interested in hooking up first and dating later if they enjoy being around the girl. They’re so used to easy women and men that they’d rather leave you instead of waiting for sex. It’s horrible!!! Men aren’t used to women who respect themselves and wanna wait and want to have a real relationship. Like they shouldn’t even be considered dating apps but instead hook up apps.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No, not at all. But you have to treat Tinder as a tool or place to meet people. Just like a bar or a sportsclub is. In a bar you meet someone, you talk for a little bit, you leave your number and then plan a date over text. On tinder you meet a person (who you know likes the way you look), you talk a little and then plan a date over text. It's the same. You still have to impress them on those dates. You still have to find out whether he suits you. Pictures are different from RL. Someone can be great on a photo and over text, but completely different in RL. And whether you become a hookup or not is still up to you and your standards. As soon as I find out a guy on tinder only swiped right because he is looking for a hookup (I'm not), I stick to my standards and I say goodbye to him. It's simple.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Naaa just streamlining it. People are just mad that it skips the honeymoon stage of relationships, y'know the fake part, with smelling nice, dressing nice, everyone is perfect, love letters, saying the mushy shit, you haven't met their kids yet, no arguments, you haven't seen their spending habits, bad credit, $100,000 student loans, crazy ex, criminal record etc. It skips all that and goes right into the ass scratching "you hungry?" after sex, sweats and a t-shirt eating Doritos stage.

    Thats what happens when you fuck up the social contract, and embrace feminism.

    My question is how women can want it both ways and not be the least bit perplexed by men being perplexed. Exhibit A: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmtQ7bSa7FU
    You do some of this ^ stuff, then want a man still respect you?

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    • Oh god, I should have expected this from a Caesar's Legion

    • I agree 100%!!! It also makes it harder for men to know the difference between a woman and a hoe. Men need to listen to j cole more!

    • 1. No idea who that is.
      2. Start ratting out your hoe-ish friends lol.

      But we all know self interest is the heart to all of this. Someone's always taking advantage of someone else in any relationship. The social contract used to be money/status/resources/big ass house/security<> sex/companionship/kids/loyalty/you doing shit I don't want to do.

      Now with so much hoe-in and welfare safety nets its all fucked up. No one needs anyone any more and everyone's all salty and impatient.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1464
  • You can't "ruin" what was broke already. Dating, hooking, whatever are screwed up even without apps. I can't take a woman serious to start off with and so dating app or not I am already planning a short term relationship, even before we meet. The social state of relationships are destroyed even without apps.

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    • I agree. You have a point. Long lasting relationships aren’t a thing anyone is interested in anymore.

    • This is such a negative way of looking at things and while a bit of it might be true most of it is not there are plenty of people who are looking for relationship and if your not finding then your looking in the wrong place or giving off the wrong ideas of what you want I've met a few girls looking for realtionships.

    • Hook ups and dating are to very seprate things so the changes in todays specify in my opinion have only helped to push dating forward more so then hurt it cause dating itself isn't the problem it's the people doing the dating we all don't know how to just talk to each other these days and thats the main challenge

  • Absolutely, since it creates such an abstract form of connecting with others it feels so impersonal like were just looking for a matching Number to our own but creates many opportunities for using people and manipulating their emotions

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    • You worded this beautifully and I agree. Any more thoughts?

    • Only that technology has distorted our view of the world and has left us more isolated than ever before.

  • You speak nothing but the truth, they want the sex first and then they'll see if they want to stick around or not. Hookup culture is definitely destroying relationships among men and women.

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    • ITS HORRIBLE!!! I have been single for quite some time and I’ve noticed that men aren’t interested in taking women on dates anymore because they’re so used to “hanging out at their place”. Like they need a reality check.

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    • There’s nothing wrong with dating with a budget. I wouldn’t be offended. I don’t expect a guy to blow all of his money on me ever. But I do expect a sweet date planned out. The best date I ever went on cost at the most $20. Food and a walk in a beautiful park. Such a beautiful date. Loved it. Better tan dinner and movies.

    • Their excuse is feminism and how the west has ruined women these days, as if western men are some how completely perfect and God sent.

  • Yeah, its all about convenience.. Sex, hookup, netflix and chill, goodbye. It's so easy nowadays. What happened to old fashioned things like courting a girl, serenades, long walks, flowers. Guys rlly tried back then now it's all ruined... not saying all guys suck tho

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    • I’m with you on this 100%. I feel the exact same way. I’m used to going on real first dates. The guys I have met irl have always taken me on dates and didn’t bring up hooking up or sex until I mentioned it. But on online dating apps, that’s the first or second thing they talk about!!! they don’t want to even take you on a date half the time. They invite you to their place!

  • I don't like it because you don't know where these people have been if you meet anyone off of Tinder there is good chance they have done some disgusting things with numerous people. I miss the days when people talked in person not sat on their phone all day and I am online all the time too but its just bad for everyone not just the dating apps but staring at a screen all day.

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    • Absolutely!!! The dating scene is so scary. I always am afraid of dating anyone because I know they all sleep around with each other!!! Like please have some respect for your future wife/husband!!! Disgusting!!!

  • I don't think they can rule the whole dating scene I haven't a girlfriend at the moment, but I meet the most of my friends who are females through real life situations like school or party's. In my opinion dating apps are kind of a cheat method. I don't like them.

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    • I agree. I prefer meeting people in real life. So much better. They know what you look like, sound like... they know your personality. People can hide and manipulate everything online. They use good pictures then on snap or real life they look completely different. I prefer meeting people irl. I also noticed it’s more genuine and lasts longer too

  • Yes, because on the Jerry Springer show. I be seeing some trannys and homosexuals appear on the show using other girls' pics to lure straight men into dating them. This is why people should try to date and get to know each other in person instead of relying on online dating to find someone to date.

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    • It’s hard to meet people in real life that want to date! They usually stick to the dating apps or social media for dating and whoever they meet in real life is just put in the friend zone usually. Idk! I’ve heard stories about this though.

    • True, usually I make friends with girls and probably try to date them later on.

  • Hell yes
    It's like putting every local single in a pet store and listing everything that's not perfect about them so they can just sit and not say yes.
    Communication is dying. And half of the users only wanna know who'd say yes without even the intention lol.

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    • Yes!!! I agree!!! It’s literally online shopping. Then when you used the person enough, you throw it out. Go back to the store and buy something new!!!

  • From my own personal experience with dating apps is that people treat many other people as easily replaceable which then means many people will give the barest minimum to connect with a person or outright stop talking to them instead of contributing to the conversation, so on a way yes, dating apps are ruining the online dating community, at least the free online dating apps anyway.

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    • Agreed. Couldn’t have said it better. Everyone is replaceable because of these apps. Like they need to just get rid of them so people can meet in real life.

  • Nothing has the power to ruin lives more than people. Like all good and bad inventions we just find the worst way possible to use it badly. Dating apps are fine but the douches who use them should be banned.

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  • I don't who you look at specifically? I've been on Match and POF, I guess I have another take on things. I'm sure there are character out there just looking to get laid. My take on dating apps is different. I think they make dating totally impersonal. I feel like I'm completing a job application. On top of that I think they allow people to be too picky, maybe even unrealistic. So ladies, are you looking for a future employee, or a husband?

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  • You have a lot of good points. And coming from a guy that isn't interested in hook ups or casual sex, a girl being into that is a big turn off and another obstacle for me to avoid being with.

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    • So many women are making it normal for men to view us as hookups and casual sex. While also making going on dates a thing of the past!!! They have no idea what they’re doing.

    • Yeah true. That reminds me of

      https://youtu.be/cO1ifNaNABY

  • Its Not app fault. Peoples ruining it. People (man +women) always want to do this kind of things but in past there are no way. App just providing creature. Just like a knife you can cut vegetable or can cut someone eles. It's just how you use. So not app fault.

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  • No I don’t... they are an easy way to meet new people because everyone has a life of work and kids and don’t really have time for the simple coffee or dinner routine. These sites are open for anyone in which gives everyone the wrong intentions about them... just like if you met them in person you will just have to weed out the bad ones

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  • I feel that it's making people more promiscuous and more jumpy. Freshmen on my bus talk about fucking and one night stands nowadays. That's corporate culture for you.

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    • It’s absolutely disgusting. I hate that it’s normal to do those things. It was always normal but now it seems like dating is out of the question and nonexistent but hooking up and one night stands is the go to.

  • To be fair, I agree with you. However, there are men out there who genuinely do seek relationships with women/men. I tried my fair share of dating apps but never really got noticed.

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    • I’m sorry! Don’t let that discourage you! You’re one of the good ones! Don’t change your intentions or values. You’ll find the right girl and it’ll last! Don’t turn into one of these pathetic whores!

    • Nah that was ages ago, I couldn't really care less about relationships right now tbh 🤣

    • Same!!!

  • Online dating apps seem to (unfortunately) be the only way to get in the dating game. For those of us who don't want a hook up or to meet at the bar scene, ways to meet new people are limited.

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    • Completely agree with you!!! Well put. My parents don’t understand that online dating apps are where all the men and women are lol

  • how i got a girls number this week? (without a dating app)
    I met her in 2016 at my university we got on well, added her to insta/fb. Occasionally sent her a few messages on insta to check her interest level and let her observe me.
    My previous girlfriend i did the same, met her on a FB game 2 years before added her to FB, waited a few years and occasionally checked her interest level. Let her observe me.
    Dating apps are full of wrong'uns and isn't the right platform to find the best women. I've not ever added any of them to my social media!

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    • I also don’t add anyone from dating apps to social media. I also noticed that they are very adamant that you add them to social media! If you don’t it’s a deal breaker. Even if you never met them in person!!! Like are you crazy? Why would I add you to my personal social media if I don’t know you. I feel like people are losing touch with reality!

    • Yeah I only add them if I’ve met them or known them for sometime. A girl asked to add me to Instagram during a date, I prefer that :)

  • I agree, I'm not looking for hook ups but girls think I do, so they ghost me in the end where I just want to have a cup of coffee...

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  • You do have the option to pre-screen men :P No date goes ahead until you both agree something. Besides, if you want the men at the top of the pile, understand that you'll have competition in the form of other women.

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  • What? For who? The like 5% or whatever it is, if hot people who are doing all of the hooking up? I think the majority of people on these things are NOT hooking up, cuz nobody wants to hook up with anyone unless they are hot.

    But then again, everyone wants to cry because they can’t get someone hot. So suddenly “the dating world is ruined!” Nah. This realm of dating was never available for most of us.

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  • I think it makes everyone picky and forces individuals into a social construct ex: every guy needs abs to be attractive or girls need to have Kim k curves. I think the social constructs associated with it is what is ruining the "dating game"

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  • Yes I do. The dating apps are taking away from human interactions. Now you get on one and people want to be rude or send naked pics. Things that when in person they would never do. Now you get on and you play hard pressed to even be able to get a number. And every one wants to spend weeks of talking then give a number. Then want to go out but yet never even speak to you on a phone. Hate the sites

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  • women who scam. saw on where a girl thought it was cool that tge guy bought her groceries. bull he hot scam by her beware of dating sites

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  • I think online dating apps help you have more options rather than just settle with what's good enough around town. Yes, that does make us more... exigent and less willing to actually put some effort to like some aspects of the other person.
    But I think in the end it's a net positive.

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  • Online dating apps are definitely ruining the originality of dating...

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    • Agreed! Men and women are getting so used to “Netflix and chill” and settling for not going on a real “first date”. I’m big on first dates. I’m used to it.

  • Personally Im the kind of guy that needs to attach myself a decent amount before sex so Im inclined to agree with you. But at the same time people are just progressively worse at doing it the normal way anyway so they fall back on dating apps.

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  • Not at all. For people like me who have social anxiety in public/person, it’s relieving to be able to break the ice with a guy before meeting him in person.

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  • They are just spoiling the relationships and ruining best relationship

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    • 100%!!! They aren’t taking that into account! Like I’m sure everyone can agree that they’d be completely put off by a partner once they found out they slept with over 30 people FROM A DATING APP!!!

    • Yes...

  • I think that they add a new way to date. If you're looking to date more traditionally then that's an option too 😊😊

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  • convenient yes, running out ole fashin honky tonkin... never

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  • I think women that don't actually want relationships (most of them) are ruining today's dating game

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    • Agreed. I can say that I have wasted a few men’s time who were genuinely interested in me just to use them as a distraction or for attention. I think you have to be in the mind set that you want to meet someone special and not just hookup, or strictly texting.

    • And it's so rare for women to actually want a real relationship, and not just money or sex

  • Anytime I match with someone I never know what to say and converstaions usually end up one sided with me asking question but never being asked anything in return. Feels very shallow and superficial.

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  • I'd venture to say that I like the traditional style of dating. The one where you sit down with the other person, and just them; no phones. So yes, I think apps are ruining today's dating game in the form of having us all stick our noses into our phones more.

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  • Definitively when I used to use it, I was always convinced that I could always get a better one. As if men were products.

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  • I think they are fine. I met both of my girlfriends online and we have a stable loving relationship

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    • Polyamory?

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    • I luv that! And people who judge it are the ones who are unhappy. I’d be open to that type of relationship because it promotes honesty. And apparently that’s too much for some people to commit to 😒

    • I understand. We're always open or honest and we work things out instead of just screaming and yelling lol plus there's always someone who knows exactly what is going on and can help

  • Yeah I think just because they get a lot of messages/matches it inflates women's egos to make them hold ridiculous standards

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  • It's adds a different experience to meeting new people, but there are good and bad things about

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  • I genuinely dislike dating apps, they are financially demanding and rarely do a good job of match making. That being said, we are in a digital age now. People used to meet at community centers, small town dances, etc, basically social gathetings. While meeting someone at an activity is great, there could be a perfect suiter who isn't there.
    Sadly to a small extent, dating is like sales, the more you meet people the more likely you are to find someone. In my opinion, tinder is shady, Eharmony gives very sweet matches but few of them, POF is a meat market, match is junk, the best is OKC. I think being online makes people more forward but there is no reason you have to just "hook up". There are plenty of people busy with life creating profiles and hunting for a long term relationship.

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  • My buddy just married a girl he matched with on tinder

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  • Ruining, not really, more like changing it would be more accurate.

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  • Everybody be swiping me right cuz i got no 6 pack. 😫

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  • I feel you I understand where you're standing on this issue, but then let me explain this to you, dating app has helped in one way or the other, but at the same time it has caused harm to the way we meeting people. I also ask myself that question most of the time but trust me, there are good men out there who are have the patience to be with you. There are men out there that value a woman who knows how to respect themselves and would want to wait. If they actually love you as they claim then they will wait. Just don't give up.

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  • Of course! Online dating is the untimate gimmick for girls guys to cheat all they want

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  • Yes they are. Just don't use them. You can still meet someone organically

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  • It sounds like you're blaming it on men.
    Are men used to easy women?

    Well here's the thing: women have total power over the dating game and dating apps. Women are in high demand while men have a hard time finding company. So who do you think turned dating into a "hookup game"?
    Basically it's 80% of women upon realizing their gigantic power and access to so many men... and in turn, the top 20% of men who are lucky enough to attract the attention of those 80% of women.

    Meanwhile, a lot of men on dating apps are sex-deprived or relation-deprived.

    I think POF is not good. But maybe it's because it has so few profiles in my country. But if you go check OkCupid and look at average-looking (*) men's profiles, I'm sure you'll find many of them who want to date.

    (*) average-looking men are generally rated as under-average by women because female psychology.

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  • It's changing the dating scene for sure. But I don't think it's a bad thing. I see finding a partner as a project trail and error. And if people like to hookup that's there fun and business I don't think it's setting a standard. And I defiantly don't think if you hookup you are not selfrespecting. Why would your self respect be tight to how many people you sleep with.

    I think it's nice to see a empowered woman that doesn't need a relationship to define her or her happiness. Doesn't mean she never had one. I think the previous way of dating where you date someone for as long as you can stand then until you settle. Is in many ways worse. Even if I others it might be better.

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  • lol without reading question i think they are nt com on girl most of apps contain fake accounts and very old people 😂

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  • Not all men are the same. And why is it that if a girl puts up on her bio that she is there on the platform for just fun and nothing serious that's totally fine. But if a guy puts it, he is really desperate. I know some people judge those girls too but... Chuck... Online dating is a real time waste according to me. The only way to get a match is by putting on great pictures and some interesting bio... And I have experimented a couple of times and always ending up with the same result. Sometimes on meeting that person in real you're like fuck I wanted to meet the person in the profile and not someone who's completely different... So yes it has ruined it. But on a brighter side it also gives you an opportunity to meet people on a global scale. So the chances of you meeting like minded people increases. But still that's very rare since a lot of these online dating are usually used for something temporary.

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  • Yes because time change early we used to play games just to play games, Today there are more people on the net so it get more hard.

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