I like my best guy friend how do I deal please help?

Ok so I met this guy like 4 years ago. I kinda liked him right off the bat and eventually told him how I felt. A couple of awkward truth or dare kisses and a whole winter went by, I wasn't as into him anymore. He hadn't said anything to me since i confessed, so I was like, 'ok, he's not interested, find someone new.' and then he asked me out when we were ice skating, he was really romantic about it, and even though I wasn't sure if I liked him anymore i still said yes because he was adorable.

But then I was a horrible person because I broke up with him at a dance two days later. He was sad and sat on the sidelines for the whole rest of the dance, and then we avoided each other for a FREAKING YEAR.
It was horrible. I missed him a lot, and I didn't feel like I could talk to him, because what if he hated me? So i gave him space. I don't know if that was the right thing to do. He deserved to hate me. I didn't want to dump him and then be right back with him. I was a coward.

And eventually I got sick of not being able to be around him, because he's amazing. So I texted him this really long-winded apology, and he actually was really cool about the whole thing? He said he missed being friends too, and we got to talking.

That was 2 months ago, and we talk almost everyday now. He's always really nice, and we play stupid stuff like truth or dare with each other to just distract from the everyday horribleness that's going on in both of our lives. And somehow I found out he still kinda liked me, and I really like him, but I don't want to ruin the friendship we now have, PLUS, I'm like 14. Everyone knows 14 year old's relationships don't last. So... what should I do? I want to keep being friends, but I also really want to kiss him sometimes?
Updates:
Update: He doesn't like me anymore. Found out from a friend that he's moved on and now likes other girls, so I guess I'm going to quit trying. He doesn't talk to me as much and I don't think he wants me knowing that he doesn't like me anymore.
Oh well. I hope we can still be friends. Should I continue to talk to him or just kinda drift away since he's done with me?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I mean I get the whole “wanting to kiss him thing”. But that’s common young people hormones. I would say stay his friend and maybe see other people and get to know different guys. Either you’ll stay his friend and then decide you’ve met someone you like better or maybe you’ll remain friends and someday you guys might get together someday.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I was in the same position and I took the chance ended up being the best thing I ever did till she lost interest and moved on

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Give him a kiss on the cheek, look into his eyes. Wait now.

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  • Don't be scared, just come out and say it. It took me 4 years and a lot of bad relationships and 1 child to finally tell a guy how I felt.

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