How would my girlfriend feel if I try to deal with her childhood bullies?

My girlfriend was a smart kid in her school, essentially rank 1 and her nickname was miss "know it all " . She was a bit shy type and liked to be alone. We just got in a relationship just one month back. One day while sharing her past, she started crying and told me about few girls in her class who caught her in locker room and resorted to name calling. It happened few times to the point that she began self harming herself. Even I cried when I was alone thinking about it. She even showed me the scars of her self harm. I am requesting her to give me the names of those girls so that I will find at least one of them and put a big stone in her face. But she is refusing. Since we are long distance now , I will only be able to do that when I go to her place but my girlfriend is like "I am not going to give you the names , what has happened was past and let it go " . It's no surprise she would say that as she is such a sweetheart, but I don't really think I would be able to let it go so easily because I tend to get overprotective sometime. Also , I wanted to ask if she wouldn't get irritated by this attitude if mine. I mean would she really appreciate it?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • She is right. As a victim of abuse and bullying by classmates and family, i can tell you it is not something you should pursue. One of the best things to do is heal and grow. Sounds easier said than done, but it is the best thing to do.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it’s best that you just support her instead of trying to harm others. I know that what happened to her wasn’t fair, but it happened in the past. Just be there to support her.

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    • Yes I would... I have promised her to pull her out of her depression at any cost. I can't see her like that.

    • Good, I’m glad to hear that.

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What Girls & Guys Said

11
  • I don't think it would make anything better for her. The situation is done and over with and confrontation would just bring it back. I think you shoild just support jer and be there for her.

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    • I was wondering in that case if I should avoid bringing that topic up? And would she feel bad about me as well due to that?

    • I don't think you should bring it up. If she brings it up then you guys should talk about it. I don't think she will feel bad about you. I would just tell her that you are there for her to talk to.

  • She definitely sounds like she doesn't want you getting in the middle of it, even though she knows it upsets u. One day those girl's will realize how horrible they were and will feel hollow inside

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