Online dating need help?

So me and this guy have been chatting for ages and everything has been great we spoke on WhatsApp and the phone for like a month I got to know him quite well , he lives quite further from me and I offered him to stay at mine since we will be drinking.

Everything has been amazing until he told me last night that he was scared and he wanted to see if we get along in person and that he has doubts since In the past stuff happened to him.

I’m a bit annoyed and confused. I was really close to cancel the date since I believe you should be positive.
Should I still go to the date or shall I cancel?
I was really looking forward , but now I’m just sad and a bit uneasy about this situation. It seems he thinks I may not like him and I don’t know why he is like that !

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think he wants to have 'freedom' of choice.
    You never know how you get on with the person IRL despite the online contact was great.

    I would feel awkward if a guy would offer me his place for a night, even not seeing me before.

    Soo, take it easy :) I'm sure he likes you a lot but want to be sure after the date, he really want to go to your place. My opinion

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's past experiences... he's been hurt before and is reluctant/hesitant, which is normal. You're likely to meet a lot of guys like this honestly. Most people have been hurt before. You have nothing to be annoyed about because it has nothing at all to do with you as a person. Yes, meet still.

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    • To be honest I had the worst date ever he was awkward and told me he never had a girlfriend and that he likes being single I feel he was so dishonest with me online and it was a massive waste of time

    • Show All
    • What did he lye about? That he never had a girlfriend?

    • Pretty much and the whole I’ve never been in-love. Socially awkward he didn’t want to kiss me in public. I was like wtf?

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What Girls & Guys Said

113
  • First of all try and meet people IRL sooner because the energy and investment you have put into this is HIGH. So yeah... of course you are going to be sad after talking to this dude for so long. But If I were you I would cancel it. Is this guy ready to invest in someone that lives so far away? Are you prepared to invest in someone that lives that far away? And what are these things in his past? Life is too short.. move on. in my opinion

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  • Cancel it, he's having doubts and you need to listen to his feelings. Tell him when he feels better to reschedule and next time, dont offer to let him stay at yours as it can be misread as inviting him for sex. Let him decide where he wants to stay and if on the day you ask him and he hasn't got a place to crash, offer it. If he has a place, wait for him to invite you to it otherwise go home. He's a virgin.

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  • Well you should still go to this date and see what is up with this guy. He seems to be very insecure, maybe he is less attractive in person than in the pics he have in social media or something like that, maybe he had bad experiences in the past and isn´t over it yet and is overthinking the whole situation, but it is better to go and know what he is about, if it ends badly you will know that he isn´t for you and can end the relationship, if it goes well maybe his worries goes out of the window.

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  • He's nervous. He has baggage. If you think he's worth it you have to give him time and support. Don't take it personally, sounds like he would be the same with anyone

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  • If he is making excuses about meeting IRL chances are he's a dude but maybe using someone elses photos to catfish you? Or perhaps he has been stood up before etc

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  • > Everything has been amazing until he told me last night that he was scared and he wanted to see if we get along in person...

    OMG, this guy needs to know when to shut up and not say everything that's in his head. Everyone has doubts, but he can really ruin the mood if he expresses them.

    So go out with him and see what happens.

    > but now I’m just sad and a bit uneasy about this situation.

    Why? Because he said something awkward? If you get uneasy just because someone says something awkward you will be single forever. You need to get a grip, girl. I used to have a handle on life, but I lost it, and I'm still ok! :)

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  • I'm like that too, maybe it's his first time doing this? I've never done it either but i think i whould probaply be the same.

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  • If he had a harsh passed with these things it scars people, he is just scared it would happen again

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  • Take the date to trim off the anxiety then continue as normal

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  • Go on the date he's just anxious. I'm the same way. I question everything

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  • It will be fine he's just a worrier

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  • is he real

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  • Don't

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  • keep going

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