Having standards is not being shallow its just wanting whats best for yourself? Do you agree or disagree?

Don't get me wrong i agree that some people do have extremly high and some even unrealistic standards but talking about normal people who have normal standards like they know what they want or don't want from a partner either physically or personality wise but these days everytime someone admits they have standards everybody starts to call them shallow and those kind of things and i feel like most times its those people who feel hurt or like they can't meet those standards.Having standards is not being shallow its just wanting whats best for yourself? Do you agree or disagree?

0|0
531

Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree to an extent. However, most people are basing their standards on societal norms like “s/he needs to look this specific way” or “he needs to have a job”, “she needs to have small/big boobs”, like okay, I get it but the world isn’t a Build-A-Girl (or Guy)-Workshop where you’re able to be that picky.

    Personally, I DO observe a guy’s looks I mean, I have eyes. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to go for the hottest guy just because he’s the one who meets the beauty standard the most. I take into account other factors like personality traits, intelligence, his dreams, his relationship history etc. That doesn’t mean that one thing I disagree with will automatically be a dealbreaker. I can be flexible as well

    2|0
    0|1

Most Helpful Guy

  • Having standards is the knowledge of what you want and the willpower to don't be satisfied with less. That's like when you safe your money for a 50k car. You can also buy a car for 2k, but would it make you as happy as your dreamcar? Guess not. Having standards is totally fine as long as they don't get too high.

    3|1
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls & Guys Said

430
  • Shallow standards exist as well as standards that are not shallow. Having preferences concerning looks is not "best for yourself", since your partner looking a certain way has no effect on yourself. But I think it's fine to have both shallow and not shallow standards, if they acknowledge other people have those too.

    1|1
    0|0
    • I agree that shallow and unrealistic standards exist but disagree on the physical standards i mean am not looking for a greek god or something but i wish to be attracted physically to the person am with is that too much to ask, i mean isn't physical attraction what makes most people attracted to each other? Do you think that is shallow?

    • I think that physical attraction is very important, but with shallow standards I meant mostly like "I only date men with a spesific hairstyle" or something like that. But I am a shallow person myself. I'm not too harsh on people who are also shallow.

    • Got you.

  • I'm 50/50 on this.
    I to this day don't understand what "standards" are, or what they exactly refer to.
    I find people attractive & unattractive based on many factors, but not generally specifically from a certain trait, personality or whatnot.
    I also think you can't help but want what you want, it's build into you to find attractive what you find attractive, if that "standard" is unrealistic, maybe you'll have problems, and maybe you'll have to alter something.

    1|0
    0|0
  • My parents told me that I have high standars and Ill become old and solo. But actually I surprised everyone when I met the man I wanted. And Now he is my boyfriend for about 3 years.

    1|0
    0|0
  • That’s the question, what is normal? Some people have standards that seem reasonable but are not due to what they have to offer, which is minimal. While others may have high standards because they have many desirable qualities to offer. It just appears that more people are of the former than the latter.

    1|0
    0|0
    • This guy is on point. Many people have a long list of standards which would not be a problem if the persons value is equivalent. People find it cringeworthy when someone has a mile long list of standards and has nothing to offer in return because it’s like man demanding he buy a top of the line car with only some spare change in his pocket.

  • Agree, but sometimes getting someone who is accepting of you even if they don't look great, should be honestly seen more as a needed thing. So many people are quick to toss someone asides based on there looks. Granted observing how ones acts and moves along with the demeanor is exactly how someone gets a first impression of you.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Have standards is important, but also I believe that you should have a somewhat open mind. If your list is TOO strict, odds are you'll never be happy because humans aren't cars you can choose options on. How ridiculous would it be if you found the perfect person but rejected them over something stupid like his feet are too small.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Disagree, because people use the word ‘standard’ as a way to just reject the people at their level or below appearance wise
    The last time I heard that was from a bbw girl saying I don’t date big guys cause standards LOL

    0|0
    0|0
    • This is what i was talking about you know, standards contain too with things you are attracted too and not from the other person, and that was just her, she is not attracted by big guys and thats it you need to moove on and i know a number of girls that are attracted to big guys that'd be just what they like and what they don't like not that you are at a lower level or something tho her way of expressing it was not the best.

  • I'd say have expectations but lower them half a step and you 100x more likely to find a partner than if you kept your standards sky high.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I always liked this when I saw it because it was always posted by the ladies on my friends list. Best part... I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't cheat. guess that means I also don't exist

    0|0
    0|0
  • Bottom line, you should only be with someone where you have mutual attraction. If you don't have that, it's not going to work out well

    2|0
    0|0
  • It's definitely not shallow to only date those who you know will make you happy

    2|0
    0|0
  • Its a grey area for me. Shit happens and life gets crazy. Being loyal and understanding are my two standards. If they've got that and there is a connection it's worth a shot but I don't think I could summarize it in one comment.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Standards are perfectly fine and people have to accept it

    1|1
    0|1
  • Having standarda is knowing what you want and what you can deal with/tolerate. Jumping into a relationship while ignoring those standards would probably not work for long

    0|0
    0|0
  • depends

    this is contingent to that individual too

    1|0
    0|0
  • So long as you keep those standards as consistent and reasonable. Otherwise you'll never be satisfied with anyone.
    See: Joke about "The Husband/Wife Store".
    See also: 80/20 Rule.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well i agree with you. Everyone will have a minimum selling fee so to speak, and it is very normal to do so. Imagine if a person accepts to be put with someone that have a falling apart life, drinks a lot, smoke a lot, is violent, abusive, for exemple. The person that accepts to put up with all this mess is surely going to have a hell out of a time. And going out with someone you feel no physical attraction to or a emotional connection to, will be very off putting also. I completely agree with you that people that cry over someone´s else having standards for dating is really the spoiled kid that cannot accept that he or she falls very short from the line and cannot accept the hard facts that they are not able to measure up.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Agreed, though there are some... weird or outlandish standards, but to each to their own.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I agree that having standards is a good thing, even if they can be shallow. Respect yourself first.

    1|0
    0|0
  • "I get that some people have unrealistic standards"
    Like whoever made that picture.
    Smoking I can go without, but alcohol? Nope.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I know, that was just a picture to attract more opinion lol

  • I am all of those things and I exist. That picture is stupid.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Was just a picture that i could somehow relate to this question i know it exists

  • Well I agree but if u attempt to put people on a pedestal that don't exist all u do is a disservice

    0|0
    0|0
  • Having standards is only shallow if said standards are based on appearance and not personality

    0|0
    0|0
  • Standards well what does that even mean. I have seen very average people have all the fun

    0|0
    0|0
    • This is not an a thing about good looking or average or not so good looking people, what you call average can have standards, its not a thing about what you could call good looking people being picky.
      An example of a standard, cheating is a no for me and i believe everyone should have this one on there list, being what you call average or below average does not mean you deserve to be cheated everyone deserve people who love them for who they are or good bye
      That was just an example for you to see what i wanted to mean and standards are not all about looks

  • Standards means you're unique😊

    1|0
    0|0
  • agree

    0|0
    0|0
  • I dont care

    0|0
    0|0
  • I agree

    0|0
    0|0
  • Agree

    0|0
    0|0
  • Agree

    0|0
    0|0
  • As long as they understand their standards are not objective and they apply only to them.

    Like your picture says the perfect guys doesn't drink. I find girls who are super against drinking as unattractive. I like to socialize and go out to bars with friends. The non-drinkers are usually not the most popular at social events.

    1|0
    0|0
  • U should only ask them to bring what u bring

    3|0
    0|0
  • I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't cheat and I do exist...

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...