How do I stop being bitter and jealous?

I'm bitter and jealous of other guys because they seem to know how to get women and when I want to be successful with women, I try to mimic them. That hasn't worked yet. I know dating is isn't everything in life but it's been dominating my thoughts now for nearly 3 years now (the last time I was on a date). I worry about a lot of things.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Some guys think that t get a girl u need to learn flirting skills etc
    Kinda like hunting for girls
    Thats a strategy
    If that doesn't work for u
    Why u dont try being hunt by girls
    How? Work on urself, get strong, smell good, good style, ur ambition, future plan, what ar ur priorities in life, understand urself to know which area to grow
    Thats the sexiest thing from a man

    Girls will not go to u randomely ad flirt with u

    They wil first be ur friend.. study u...
    Men fall in love with their eyes.. appearance
    Women are more complex we re more into emotional intellectual

    Google the difference of women and men brain
    And the way women and men fall in love

    there's a huge difference

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    • lol yeah, do this definitely for the long term.

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    • Be humble and nice with urself... there's boy without face or ugly teeth... that can't even imitating other boys flirting style

      So if ur inmature this and that... then what are those with deformities on their face?

      They dont deserve love, failure, worthless?

    • I’m not nearly as immature as I used to be, however I feel like there’s always room for improvement

Most Helpful Guy

  • Best advice I can give on this is women will appear in your life when you're not looking for them. Do not mimic other people because no one is the same and what works for them won't necessarily work for you, plus pickup artist shit is dumb and superficial. Just focus on improving yourself, whether that's through school, work, physically, mentally, etc. Women will take notice when you've got shit going for you and are focused on your future

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    • I need to improve one big thing in my life.

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    • Chill with them, ask questions about women you don't understand, close any gap you think there is between men and women. Just treat everyone the same, kindly

    • Oh yeah totally, i'm totally doing that this summer and in college.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Three years ago, you were only fifteen!

    I think a lot of teens are in your shoes. It's an awkward phase and if you aren't the Cool Kids then you probably aren't getting laid until you're an adult... Sorry dude.

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    • I'm fairly popular around here. However, I'm not the best looking guy in the world and I'm battling anxiety currently.

  • The good woman never goes out. That is a problem you have to deal with in the first place. So you find them in hospitals. You can go there and take a seat. There are many. Perhaps you need a nice woman you like.
    There you meet people also who care for each other. So that is a good sign.
    The good woman makes themselves unnoticed. Also in the way they dress. That is another problem you have to deal with cause you will not notice them easily.
    But they are worse it since they have always a good sense of humor and are very smart.
    You can buy a dog and walk in the park.
    This way you protect other people as well.
    You also must look behind you, because you might get followed and meet a hooker, cops dressed as hookers. So be careful. Do not eat ice cream also when you hear ring the bell in the streets on warm days.
    the good woman is not hanging on the phone. she has no phone. She does not watch tv and is not on facebook. Neither on twitter. She probably has not even a doorbell. Good luck finding her. But if you do. She is worth a million.

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    • Another thing. If you find one. Know that just your kindness is for her worth more than a hundred billions dollars. She is thankful and grateful. And takes nothing for granted.

  • Well there are a lot of things that go into "charming" a woman and going on a date. First of all the outside. Smell good and fresh, aka. Shower every morning and invest in good well smelling deoderant and some aftershave smell. Brush your teeth in the morning aswell as in the evenings. Then, keep your hair good looking. Now this doesn't mean that you have to get a specific haircut, but extremly long hair or just no haircut at all decreases your success. So preferably cut your hair every 2 months or so and keep a well looling hair. Next up is clothing! Now you don't need expensive clothes but you need good taste. Here's a few hints. White, black, jeans and beige looks good 90% of the time. Beige chinos or a nice pair of jeans are 2 good options, work with almoat everything. Then a white or a black t-shirt, no weird stuff on it, just plain white or black. Usually there's the brand's name written on the cheat which is fine if it's written in ex. Black/white/dark blue. And if you need a jacket just get a black, white or a jeans jacket. A dark blue jacket works aswell. Colors like bright yellow or green are hard to make look good and doesn't go well with a lot of other clothes. Also shoes! White and black look good, dark blue, beige, brown. Now the design of the shoe is rather important. Again you don't need designer shoes. Loafers are a good option in the summer and in winter there are ex. Timberlands. When it comes to socks, white, black and dark blue are safe options. Next up is physicue, all girls like a good physicue so if you don't do any sport, get a gymcard or jogging shoes and go out running. Again you don't need to be shredded snd have a glowing sixpack just don't be fat. If you are really skinny, I suggest you look into getting a gymcard. If you want to change your body, by gaining ot loosing weight, I must strongly advise you to look into dieting and how loosing and gaining weight works. Dieting is more important than going to the gym. If you go to the gym but then come home and eat 3 burgers and eat more calories than you spent at the gym you will gain more weight rather than loosing it. Next up is personality. Thia ia where you don't want to change! You might want to be chill listen to her if she talks and maybe not show your "wierd" sides at the first or second date. I suggest looking into sites that help you talk to girls and seem confident. Lastly don't bite your nails and don't have a lot of dirt under them!

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  • Focus on something else. I mean it. Use your time and energy to invest in yourself as a person and do something challenging that you never thought you could do. That will bring you tons of confidence not just as a man, but as a person. When you know you're always trying to do the right things then nothing will keep you down for long if at all. Definitely improved my reputation with the ladies and men for that matter. People want someone they respect, but have to respect yourself first.

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  • I didn't have my first proper date until I was 21, when I was younger I always worried about my looks/personality (I had low self-esteem still do) however, I've learnt that being that douchey guy that hits on women and is crass may work some of the time but leads to a one night stand at best. And while at 18 that may be your aim, actually connecting with someone is so much more important, and you can only do this by being yourself, if you mimic others you will eventually end up having to reveal yourself and your date will see you've been lying to her. If you have low self esteem, try acting more confident - I try this and usually it works, although I usually end up confessing this if my date comments upon it. The best thing to do, is to try Tinder or something like it to build up your confidence, it's useful to see that people like you physically to build up your confidence level. Although it can also be useful to meet people on as you can chat to them beforehand and have enough time to prepare your responses. But really jealousy gets you nowhere - believe me I know - and you'll find a girl who likes you for you, rather than for who you pretend to be, and this will feel a lot better.

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    • I don’t think I’m good looking enough for tinder

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    • And that depressed you? I know people who got no matches after weeks and thought there might be something wrong with Tinder. Getting two in two weeks is fairly normal. Don't sweat it dude!

    • No I stopped for a different reason.

  • Honestly, don't waste time mimicking others, best advice I can give is be yourself, they don't dig it, they ain't for you, they dig you when your mimicking and you're gonna have to stretch and live that lie out, would you rather be with some one who loves you for you or live a lie?

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    • Someone who loves me but I don't know how to make that happen.

    • Me having been single for a very long time am in no position to lecture or give good advice, but just keep trying, keep being yourself, she'll come, some say she'll come when you least expect it and when not actively searching for her.

  • Don't try to mimic others try to do it as who you are. Think what are you strong points and what are you week points and use them in a conversation. Or maybe there is already some one really close to you that you actually might like but you didn't see him or her yet. 😉

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  • Little bro, first and foremost grow a pair, know that those guys are not better than you, they have just figured there comfort level out with women, interact more , never fear to fail, you will always learn, get some female friends , they will also help you out, you can do it, every pro was once a beginner

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  • First of all, realise that getting jealous about this won’t get you anywhere. It’s just time badly spent, you’re not gaining anything.

    Second, mimicking won’t get you anywhere either. Being yourself does. Starting off a relationship with being fake can only lead to fake love.

    So what should you do? Focus on making yourself more attractive & stop pitying yourself, women (and men) HATE that.

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  • The best advice I can give you is to forget everything you see other guys do and say, just be yourself and let the chips fall where they may. What works for one won't always work for another. Develop your own personality and fine tune your own approach to the ladies. You'll be a lot more successful just being yourself. Listen to the voice of experience, I was the same way when I was younger.

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    • What made you change

    • It took a long time of failing until one time an older lady had seen me strike out and her advice was, "Just be yourself and forget about what you see other guys doing." Trust me, I spent many foolish looking minutes in front of a mirror practicing pick up lines. Don't use tired old pick up lines, just strike up a conversation and see where it takes you. Good luck.

    • I never use pick up lines, I just small talk, nothing more.

  • Dude... you're 18. Calm down first and foremost. Be open and honest. Don't be a dick. Never expect ANYTHING from a girl you're interested in. Not even her time. Try online dating. Not tinder. Flirt with girls once and move on to practice. They tend to know when it's harmless and when it's not. If they tell you they have a boyfriend you're trying too hard. You want them to smile and laugh as you walk away.

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  • Mabey you shouldn't mimic the other guys and try to be yourself. Because if a woman sees you be like all the other guys they might not like you. Women when there looking for guys want the guy to be himself and be truthful and honesty. Most women like it when your being yourself. Just try being yourself forget about those other guys just be yourself and do what you think girls like.

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  • It's normal to wonder why women go for certain guys, and not you. I personally don't get many opportunities when it comes to dating.

    The only way to stop being bitter and jealous, is to stop overthinking it. Try doing something to take your mind off it. I usually go to the gym and workout, it usually gets my mind off it.

    You'll find someone one day, if you keep wishing for it to happen now, the time feels longer. Distract yourself, act aloof.

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  • I know my name on her is the shy prep, but I'm really confident when it comes to dating. You have to be confident to get girls, it's really attractive to them. If you aren't confident, fake it until you make it. Also don't be ugly lol

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  • Stop 🛑 whatever you are doing.
    And reset and focus.
    You need to develop your own strategies.
    Do you think that everyone who’s getting girls always succeeded? Not at all.
    So for you to succeed you need to experiment and maybe fail. Every female you are interested in, try to make it happen, talking, dating, flirting and whatever doesn’t work simply don’t do it again.
    Before that, how comfortable are you with yourself? Do you think you are attractive and women think you are attractive too? Make sure your lols are to your liking, your clothes are clean and you are smelling good. Style your hair and if you have a beard getting well cut. Feel good with yourself and then go talk to women. It’s that simple. Good luck. If you want more ideas on how to approach women, text me on here and I can help you and tell you how to do it. What women like to hear etc.
    let me know. Anyways good luck and keep trying to get women with different strategies and different places.

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    • It takes time, I’ve been trying to develop the best strategies at work to finesse pockets and with guys to see how I keep it interesting and alive. So I’ve been doing this for awhile it takes time for me to realize that certain things were super stupid, others were better. Recently I did something that I think it was wrong and I will not do it again in an early stage of getting to know a guy.
      It’s a mission, you need to commit and then eventually then one girl will connect with you and it’s your bae.

  • You're not being yourself. You're clearly not confidant being yourself as you are mimicing other people.
    Women are perceptive... why don't you focus on how to improve yourself before you try it out there?

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    • I think I’m overthinking everything

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    • I have obese married friends man. It's no excuse. Weight. Though if that will encourage your self esteem to grow then take it seriously and go for it man.

    • That might make me feel better

  • By accepting something are beyond your control and just learning to take a step back and watch events unfold

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    • But that’s assuming will just come to me?

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    • There isn’t a girl that I’m going after right now

    • Everything takes time that's how trust is developed jumping too quickly can make things unstable

  • You have to be confident enough to be yourself. It seems easier said than done. Just remember. If you have a skill or hobby that you're good at or a passion for something, talk about it. Approach someone with the intent to get to know them if you want to be in a relationship with them. If it's just for sex then you can try something different every time. But, in my experience, being yourself works for wonders

    A lot of guys fake confidence until they're comfortable enough to be themselves. Fake it until you make it!

    Another tip would be to strike up conversations with girls/women that you know, family, friends etc, that are in a relationship. It will help you get used to talking to women and depending on the bond with that person you can ask them what attracted them to the person they are dating.

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  • You will never stop being jealous... Its human nature... Just learn how to use words and you will be ok... If you tickle the right spot with words you win... Jealousy won't help

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  • you can find girls so easily from social media. find girl who u like.. and write her. you can make copy paste text and spam it. you will get date soon

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  • Dont try to be like someone other than yourself. Thats the mistake

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  • I have the same thing, my body count is 5. What's yours?

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  • Build up your game, id recommend looking on The Redpill reddit for tips on this

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  • Dont try to be like anyone but who you are.

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  • You really can't man.. just control it

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  • God knows I can't after 2 years

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  • Stop doing it

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  • Need help too...

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  • In my opinion, I don't think you should be. They may be getting all the girls, but they might only have very short relationships with them. There will be someone who does or will notice you.

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  • Sometimes it's just the way you carry yourself. You may think your doing a good job at mimicking but these women could possibly be seeing through the fakeness. It could be your look too. What you wear. If you had a pic up of yourself it would be better to see what could be the reason. However, your looks might have nothing to do with it tho. Some guys just look super immature and that's a huge turn off.

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  • Bang fat women pigs always put out

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  • Don't be jealous because there is a lot people out there that are still single.. Find someone & be serious in relationship

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