Should I call him to ask why he decided to disappear?

I met this guy and everything seemed great. He told me all the great things like you're so hot, I really like you, I didn't apply for this job yet because I met you. At the same time he expressed concern about things moving too fast and liking me too much too soon. We had been seeing each other for a month when he came for a date with my friends and me. We had planned for him to stay the night. It was the first time we had "planned" a sleepover, even brought his dog. He stayed until three the next afternoon. We were supposed to have a date two nights later but he did not remember that. I asked him when I would see him again and he said I don't know, something fun will come up. That was first clue something was up. I sent him a text saying I had a nice time. He called and we talked for 45 minutes. Normally we texted every day. Nothing the next day so I sent a quick note that he replied to the following night. I then called him and we talked for 30 minutes. Now no contact for 5 days. I sent a text earlier tonight just saying I hope he had a good weekend - again nothing. Obviously I feel the brush off but I would just like to know why. Make sure he knows I do not have plans to exchange drawers at each others homes. Should I call him and ask him or just accept that he's done. It's just weird. Why did he stay until 3 and then talk for 45 minutes? Just want to be sure that I don't fall for the same garbage again. Really thought he was a nice guy, not a player.


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  • I would definitely ask. I mean, otherwise you're just gonna spend your time wondering. I never have the guts to ask, but I usually regret it. Definitely ask and figure out what's going on! If he can't show you respect, then you don't really have to care about what he's going to think. Good luck!

  • It sounds like he got scared because things were moving quickly. When a man does a sleepover, he begins to see that things are becoming serious and that makes him sometimes pull back a little. They can still come back from this position but it is best not to badger him or overcontact him at this stage so that there is a better chance he will not be overwhelmed. I think what happens is they think, do I want to get serious and then they start deciding.

    • I thought about that. I only sent the one text hoping he had a good weekend. Left it so he wouldn't have to reply. And of course he didn't. Just weird. Why can't guys just be honest? And I would have told him that I do not want to give him a drawer or start keeping things at his house. Think that's what is bugging me. He didn't bother to find out what I am thinking either.

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    • The 45 minute call followed a text saying I had enjoyed the weekend after he left my house. He suddenly texted tonight saying he has been sick. I texted back a couple of hours later that I was sorry to hear that. No reply like there would have been in the past. I went out with someone else last weekend so I am not heart broken right now just would like to understand this. Don't know if I should expect this to be normal dating behavior now.

    • At this point, focus on other things including the new guy you went out with. It seems he is acting differently so that's how I would read it. I don't know if it is normal dating behavior but he is unsure. I would leave any further contact to him. By the way, when I speak of any actions from you I also including texting so you have initiated some after the 45 min call. I would not do anymore till you see more initiative from him. Then you will see where his mind is at.