How do you get past rejection?

I'm 22 and have never had a serious relationship, the most dates I've ever gone on someone with is four and as of today that's over. I will admit that I am someone who gets ahead of myself, the moment I like someone I start to plan way further ahead than I have any right to. Recently I met someone we had a few dates and everything was going really well it seemed, we both got on really well - at least I thought so - and she always seemed up for meeting up again. However, the last time we met up, it got kind of awkward, it still ended ok and we kissed goodbye. But I felt there was something off, so when I asked her if everything was ok over text, I got a response that she was not personally ready for a relationship, that she thought she was but isn't and that she feels bad because she liked me and that I was so sweet. Now I feel this was kind of an excuse and that she really didn't like me. This is the fifth girl that I've really liked who for some reason or other hasn't reciprocated, I know that I have no reason to really like someone after only a couple of dates but I do - I really can't help it, the last girl lived in a foreign country and was only here for uni, which I'm graduating from this June so would have been a long distance issue, although the uni is only a few hours on the train from where I live, and so I tried not to get attached because I knew it would end in a month or so, my thinking was a summer fling would be nice, but I ended up having feelings for her. How does one get passed the feeling that you're unlovable, that nobody will actually like you?

It've had one night stands which I hate, I don't like not actually liking/having a connection with my partner, but it seems to be the only sort of relationship which works for me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • As a girl, I can honestly say that her "excuse" was how she genuinely felt. If the girl didn't like you, she wouldn't have wasted her time on the days she sent out with you, and she wouldn't have let it get so far as to let you kiss her, boo. She was probably being honest when she said that she likes you, but isn't ready for a relationship.

    I'm so sorry that you feel rejected. It's one of the worst feelings in the world. But think of it as a mood: its gonna be there, then its gonna be gone. You just have to push past it and love your own self

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    • Thanks, it's more the general rejections from people I actually like which gets me down, it seems I only seem to be liked by people I don't. Or people you meet in a club you have no connection to, which isn't fun for me.

Most Helpful Guy

  • DUDE THAT'S WHAT'S BRINGING YOU DOWN MORON
    Listen confidence goes a long way with women and dont be afraid to love and take the chance just don't grow hatred towards women because of past experiences
    I lnow what your going through so if you need to talk text me

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    • I agree with this.
      Also, first impressions dont matter that much when meeting new people, but a handshake says a lot about a man and leaves a lasting impression. Have a full, firm grip, and look the person in the eye.
      It drives me crazy when a guy doesn't grab my hand all the way, or pulls me toward him, or has a weak grip

    • Oh, I have no hatred towards them, I love them. My low confidence I fix by acting confident, which is often commented upon, whereupon I admit I'm not that cocky. It's more the fact that everyone I've liked doesn't feel the same and the one's I care nothing for seem to like me. I just don't know how to fix this cycle.

    • Throught yourself outside your comfort zone

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What Girls & Guys Said

1228
  • Just tell yourself you will get past it. But honestly I don't get that and find it irritating, if you know you're not ready for a relationship then why bother going on dates anyway? That's just wasting their time a d someone else time. Anyway, don't sweat it, just kinda let things happen and wait it out, you'll meet someone eventually.

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  • You dont get past rejection you get over being rejected by landing on home plate in other parks like away games you know but i still remember most of my rejections i looked real retarded according to my feeling and piers which some still hurt but its different for everybody with. only so many ways that question can be answered and if its not what you want to hear you might not listen if it is your ticket or key

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  • It's cause your not a asshole, girls here will hate but it's true, "Most" women feel no connection with nice guy's, it just isn't there for they get no "spark" or "Chemistry" for nice guys. Even though women cry they want the ideal nice guy but always reject them. You will meet a girl one day bruh you're only 22 more to come

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  • Don't give up you'll find a girl just as interested in planning ahead as you are and who's gonna be super interested just keep your eyes open it could be the person you least expect.

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  • You just need to have patience, you're still really young so you have quite some time to find the right girl but you will eventually, you just have to keep searching. There is someone for everyone, you may have already met them or you might still have to find them but you will find her sooner or later so you just have to wait till you do.

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  • Dude , don't overthink and blow this shit out of proportion, take it slow with your girl, it's pain and gain, wait a little give her some time to breathe, and don't end things on that awkward note , have a blast , there are people who are worse off

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  • For one feeling bad about yourself is never the answer because you'll start seeking pity from people. No girl is gonna like someone who seeks others approval etc. Anyways dude things will always get better trust me. Just keep your head held high because the better days are coming

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  • Love yourself first. If you meet the right one, she will love you even more and believe me, you will feel like never before. She probably had some problem with your appearence, behaviour or something. Girls ale looking for that.. I do toho know why, it's stupid. I did that too. Fell in love but had doubts so my mind was already thinking like it won't last so my mind was looking for some "mistakes". You'll meet the right one! Just stop looking and focus on yourself!
    Best wishes,
    Kate

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  • Don’t worry it will happen just give it sometime. Don’t rush these things you’ll meet someone and think yes this special person was worth the wait

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  • You need to teach how to love yourself. If you can't love yourself, how can you expect other girls to love you. I would suggest to work on yourself first before going into relationship. Don't rely on her to make you happy, rely on yourself

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  • Stop trying. Don't try at all. People will like you and people won't. Don't expect every girl to like u back shit

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  • bruhhh. I had this problem to. litteraly just act natural and be their friend. don't expect her to feel any kind of way, just enjoy the time shared for what it is. if your sparks make a fire, coo if not, you just gotta wait for wood to dry a bit c;

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  • First of all improve your image, workout, eat better, get a better hair style wear fashionable clothe, and make yourself feel better about yourself then rejection won't hurt you no more

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  • You can't attach your self worth to who you're dating. 1 out of 20 women I go after are interested. Go out and put the time in.

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  • Plenty of fish in the sea, it sounds like you need to focus on yourself, maybe reignite a hobby or hit the gym more

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  • People, not "girls" but people have their own Stuff going on... Don't think you're so special, rather What makes the pile of flesh and bones Special. (*shrug*)

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  • It's kind of like the saying, Chicken Little only has to be right once.

    Once you find someone you really click with, past failures don't matter.

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  • ok so
    1. the first girl who said she isn't ready for a relationship isn't lying, she might really think that she was ready but while dating, she can feel something is wrong , not in u, in her, so dont take that problem personal cuz u did nothing wrong, i felt the same thing while dating and broke up, not because i hated the dude but because i wasn't ready

    2. i advice u not to go for long distance relatiomships because it is really hard and can end up with something u didn't want, and i think u are not up for that

    3. watch this https://youtu.be/6rEGCvee3ks

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  • 1. Reflect on what happened
    2. Decide what to do differently
    3. Wait a few hours
    4. Over it

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  • I don't know what to say, but some people have struggled for finding their true love

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  • This is me 100% bro I feel you on a deep personal level. But in this case it wasn't you. She was being honest

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  • Rejection sounds like a better risk then settling..

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  • I've never been rejected because I have never dated. All the girls I've ever met are unsuitable because they are already taken or else too young.

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  • All this explanation is what a girl does. Just skip it. No, you seriously lack game. So go here and read: www.therationalmale.com

    Guys need three things to be a huge success with the ladies:
    Looks
    Money
    Confidence. Irrational confidence.

    You can get by with any two, but all three is key. So at your age, work your hardest on 1 and 2, and 3 will come from the effort. And you'll have them throwing themselves at you.
    And remember, YOU ARE THE PRIZE. So act like. Women will come and go, but a good looking rich guy that is a leader is a prize to behold - that's exactly what all women are looking for whether they'll admit it or not.

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  • Brother I’m always being rejected for another guy or the female that I have a crush on tells me introduce me to ur guy friend

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  • It's a numbers game. It's pointless to get hung up on someone who doesn't want you. Do you want to be with someone who can't see how awesome you are?

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  • it’s kinda hard to say. I’m the same way when it comes to dating/ people i really like. you get super attached and get your expectations up because you really see a future with the other person but for whatever reason they can’t meet your expectations and let you down. it makes you wonder if there was something wrong with you. the truth is, life scares a lot of people, people don’t really know what they want. Now a days a lot more people/ especially younger ones think in the moment rather than the future and will this benefit me later on. so my advice to you and myself is to not think so much about it. if you feel like you are messing something or don’t like something about yourself the. find out what it is and change it. but don’t ever let someone who couldn’t see your worth make you feel like you aren’t good enough.

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  • Why are you worried about rejection when by your own words have never had serious relationship

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  • Win the lottery or become a body builder. Otherwise you'll always be rejected by women

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  • Just take it and move on

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    • yep, she said it right.

      Remember what Edison said? "i've found 99 ways how not to invent a lightbulb 🙂"
      there are sooo many people, u'll find the one in time.

  • Love and like yourself and press

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  • Take it on the chin and keep going

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  • Don't be a pussy

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  • You move on. You got to keep trying.

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  • I didn't get rejected

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  • You smoke pot my dude. And lots of it.

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  • Sounds a lot like me. Nothing past 2 dates.

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  • You’re going to get the person who’ll love you. If not today, tomorrow! Moreover, stop defining your worth with number of rejections you have had. You’re not unlovable. You’re should love your own self. You’re still 22, people have had failed relationships and marriages too. Its not easy to find the right person. She’ll come in your life on the right time.

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  • This will make u feel better:

    I’m 22 and I haven’t had one date. Not one. And, I’ve never kissed anyone. I’m a virgin too.

    There.

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    • When you're ready the day will shine for you

    • Show All
    • Ohh haha. You're a strong woman

    • No I’m just a normal person 😂 lmao

  • Name all of the flaws of the person then you’ll be like why did I ever want to be with that person.

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