I don't know why I react like this and I don't know how I can change it.
You could be aromantic or just have commitment issues... or maybe you just haven't found the right person that's entirely possible
You're too young and immature. When you meet the right one the sparks will fly, it will be uncontrollable. Wait for that.
In the meantime, date. A LOT. Just don't' have sex with them all. This way you'll actually gain enough experience to be able to discern whether it's a match or not, whether they're really worth your investment in time and emotion.
And you'll likely have to date up a little, guys of higher stature, and a little older. Guys your age are just out of teeny-bopper stage. They don't really become men 'till mid-20's at least. And then they just keep getting better and better and better. Guys age like fine wine. Girls? Not so much. Make it happen before 30 or you'll be sorry.
Maybe you're asexual.
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