Boyfriend called me a bitch, what do I do?

My boyfriend of 3 years called me a bitch for the first time. I've gotten fuck off, fuck you, shut the fuck up, etc before. He's got a temper, but there's always an apology & explanation. This time? Not so much.

He was telling I purposely did something that I didn't. I was being sarcastic because it was so outrageous that I'd do this thing on purpose. He then called me a sarcastic bitch. He then quietly got dressed and left for work. Said "going to work, love you" and left. I texted him a few minutes later asking what it means for us now that he's called me something like that, because surely you don't call someone you love and respect a bitch. His reply was "ok." I asked what the hell was going on and if this means he's done with us. No reply. Blatant ignoring, no apology.

He gets angry with me often, but I assume it's from having a temper and being in his first relationship with someone ever and just not knowing how to behave. I don't want to break up with him, but I also don't want to say oh it's fine please call me a bitch all you like.

What the hell do I do?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I try to avoid the "b" word as much as possible, but for me when my significant other does something which is the equivalent of her calling me a bitch then I respond that way. It's a last resort, a way for me to communicate my anger level, and sum up the how inappropriate her actions are to me.

    No, the word isn't appropriate for me to say, I'd much prefer to talk things out. It sounds like counseling and possibly even anger management may be necessary.

    There's a communication break down solve it or the relationship will suffer.

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    • He wouldn't agree to going to counseling or anger management. He knows he has a temper, but he hates talking about it and he only gets angrier when I bring it up. Is there a gentle way to say it without escalating things further? Should I text it or in person?

    • Sounds like you may need to break up if he's unwilling to do work.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Some couples call each other "bad" names all the time. They can enjoy it and find it funny because a word's meaning depends on its context. In your case, since it hurt you and since the context was out of anger, it's not okay. You should tell him that it genuinely hurt and he should apologize. He seems to have jumped to conclusions there.

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What Girls & Guys Said

310
  • Sounds like he's abusive.
    Does he make up things to argue with you often?
    I would tell him to stop saying those things, and that you feel bad when he does.
    If he doesn't stop, or starts to be possessive, then move on.

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    • Sometimes, but he gets in his own head and thinks something's happened when it hasn't. He was really nice beforehand, kissing and hugging and just in general being playful. THen randomly he says I"m a sarcastic bitch because I say something sarcastic.

    • I would suggest you to search for storys of abused woman.
      Compare their storys on how it was in the beginning to your experience. If you find similarities, you really should break up.
      Don't want to be overprotective, but...

    • I really don't want to break up though. We get along well most of the time, he just lately has been not the nicest toward me. I want him to change, not break up. I know I sound stupid, but I just really feel like he's it.

  • Big deal? Couples fight all the time and tempers flare. It happened and it’s going to happen again. If you can’t handle it, then don’t interact with anybody ever again because as long as you interact with humans, it’s going to happen.

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    • Yeah, we weren't fighting. We were having a really good day actually up until he called me a bitch and got pissed off...

    • Show All
    • All right...

    • Ya. Women are known for never taking blame so I don’t believe that

  • That depends on you.
    Words are just words, they hurt but you can get past them if you choose to and if the person who said them is sincere in their apology. If he doesn’t apologize then you have to decide can you live with him treating you that way.

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  • Talk to him about this when he's calm. Tell him you don't want to be called names because it bothers you. Even I didn't call my abusive wife names, instead I eventually divorced her.

    He doesn't seem to know what's good and bad for a relationship. Why are you even there? If you are there because you think you can change him, you are wrong.

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  • How much shit generally do you lay on him?
    Sounds like you were both in the wrong and he called you out.

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    • Damn. Men really do think it's ok to call women bitches huh

    • It's not best practice but both sexes have their own way of pissing off their partners.

  • DO NOT and I repeat, DO NOT TAKE THAT MESS FROM ANYONE. You need to have a conversation with him but also it sounds like he does not respect you. And you cannot tolerate that. Sure he has a temper shit like that & even previous things you have mentioned is not okay. Certain stuff should not be brushed off. Let him cool down. Gather your thoughts & talk to him. Show him you deserve respect. That's not how you talk to your significant other.

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  • Tbh, I completely understand how you feel. You must feel lost, empty and disappointed. I feel like if you really love him give him a chance (Make sure he knows that he’s wrong) but if he calls you a bitch one more time while believe that it’s not his problem. He needs to be out

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  • So he can say fuck you and you're fine with it but you get mad when he calls you a bitch? I wouldn't put up with any of that if you aren't doing anything to deserve it.

    Being in his first relationship is no excuse for being blatantly disrespectful.

    If you are being a bitch you should expect to be called out for it, but to just say that because he's upset about something is childish.

    "I don't want to break up with him. I just really feel like he's it." If he's so great then why bother complaining? Just suck it up and get used to being called a bitch.

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  • Tell him and don't hold back and if he doesn't like that so be it

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  • Well are you a bitch. ?

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  • Show him what's up and bake him a pie

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  • He sounds abusive.

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  • "bitch" isn't a strong word, if he called you slut then u should be angry

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