Taking a break from men and dating for a long time? Any advice on finding the guy who is worth it?

So I have finally decided that I will not pursue or entertain ANY man for a very long time because I am fed up and burned out. I have tried with two men. Both turned out to be the exact same way. So much LYING, GAME PLAYING, CHEATING, ETC. I can’t deal with it anymore. This will be the first time since I was 18 that I won’t be involved with a guy. I am 21 now. I have been on and off with the same guy since 18. He is the straw that broke the camels back. I just stopped dating this other guy for similar reasons. Both were cowards. I have to be respected in a relationship. I don’t tolerate being put in the dark at all. So I flip out and they don’t enjoy it. I feel free lol! I feel like I cut off some heavy weight!!! I have such a big heart and always forgive and give chances because I love him so much but f that lol!!! So has anyone else been through this? Going a long time without dating, sex, relationships, etc. I feel like everyone else has been so lucky with love at my age. I have had the worst luck! Any advice?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Best advice I was ever given. Quit looking and become the best you that you can be. Become active in things that align with your beliefs and you will find the person that you truly match up with.

    We concentrate on the superficial aspects like looks, hobbies, or interests and then are let down when we grow apart. If you believe that animals are important, then volunteer with animals. If you like helping kids, help kids. If you believe that aliens are among us, I'm sure there's groups for that too. You get the idea In sure.
    Forget that dude and live life!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I find it interesting you say you're giving up men for a long time yet asking for advice on finding a good man!!! So which is it, giving or continue looking?

    Now, you need to evaluate yourself, because you chose two guys that did the same things that hurt you, so it's your part to figure out why you're choosing these men, what characteristics they showed you which you liked and didn't like. When someone has the same bad experience multiple times it's on them the choices they made...

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What Girls & Guys Said

09
  • Good

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  • Don't. Just focus on growing alone instead on leaning on. And the perfect guy will come at perfect time.

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  • Do what you want to and find someone that way. Also while you can friend zone guys that maybe the best place to look for a worth while guy.

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  • Just tell all the guys that you're in love with someone.. the ones that still stick around are keepers..

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  • Stop looking and let him come to you. You will know when you meet him

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  • If a guy shows u he is not good for a relationship and u decide to give him multiple chances then u are the one playing your self

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    • I agree. I just loved him a little too much.

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    • @Truthatanycost thank you. I agree. I feel as though I give my whole heart to someone and they always turn out to be disloyal. For now on I’m going to focus on me and not involve myself with men.

    • Read this www.eckharttolle.com/.../Relationships-True-Love-and-the-Transcendence-of-Duality

      When we are firmly in the physical plane, ''love'' does not come from within, it comes from a false place, and from this place it can never be true, and will always bring suffering. If you get in touch with your true self, and silence the chatter of the mind, and can see the same in another, then being with them will not involve suffering.

      However, as long as you cling on to the false love you experienced, then it's unlikely anything can change. You may even end up repeating the same mistakes after that long break.

  • Imagine the male version of yourself, that's the kind of partner you attract the most.

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  • I've never been on a date or so much as kissed a girl.

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  • the one you turn to in the place you never expect

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    • When you least expect it, you meet them?

    • behind you while you in the que for shopping
      always smile
      the right person will smile back

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