Are we a proper couple?

So we’ve been seeing each other for 8 months. We’ve had the chat about being exclusive. We’ve both said I love you.

But for the last month, we’ve only seen each other once a week. We haven’t spent any quality time together. His dad has end stage cancer and my boyfriend is working every hour god gives when he isn’t with his dad.

I've been understanding about that and giving him space. We still text constantly through our the day and speak on the phone a few times a week. But my friend suggested that because we aren’t spending every night together or seeing each other loads that it doesn’t sound like he is committed to me or that it’s a proper relationship.

What do you think?

0|0
15

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well I think your friend has no clue what its like to losing a parent. Maybe work helps you boyfriend to get minds off things. Not that you dont deserve time with him. But it hurts. Your friend sounds like a real jerk and maybe even toxic for your relationship. boyfriend needs you now more than ever. Talking on the phone and texting is a good sign. But you do need time together yes but help support boyfriend. Maybe he will have more time in the future. Do let him know you are there for him. Let him know you want to be with him. Tell him you want some alone time with him. Maybe soend time with him when he is with Dad.
    Only you know what you can put up with. Dont let others tell you how to feel. If its going no where for you then move on. But if you love him then fight for boyfriend.

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Loading...

Have an opinion?

What Girls & Guys Said

14
  • I think your friend is ignorant of the facts of the situation. You are still very much a proper couple with your guy. This is a chance for you to strengthen your bond with him, and ask if there is anyway you can help him through his dad's end of life.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thank you.

      It’s just made me a bit paranoid. To me, I am doing the right thing by giving him the space and support HE needs, even if it’s not what I want.

  • I don't think there is any type of "proper relationship", when someone's parent is in end stage cancer. By end stage cancer, do you mean a few months or weeks, or a year or more. He is doing what is practical and what he needs to do, if it's a couple of months or weeks. If it's going to be a year or more, he needs to lighten up, and pay more attention to you. if you were married, and your mom had end stage cancer, you'd probably be doing the same thing he is. Is it possible that this will ruin your relationship, due to the time off? Yes. But this is the kind of thing that real relationship go through, and time will tell how it works out.

    0|0
    0|0
    • We are looking at weeks before he dies. His head is a mess over it. So I’m trying not to add pressure by being needy or making things about me. So I offer him support where he needs it and just take his lead over how much time he wants to spend together just now. I don’t know his dad so can’t really offer support in terms of visiting etc

      I thought what I was doing was the right thing. My friend just made me paranoid that he wants so much space just now.

    • Albafeline: it sound like you are making good choices in how to handle this, re. giving him space and offering support. This is a very difficult time for him, and of course, it makes it difficult for you too. But it is one of those times, where he will need to take, more than he receives.

  • Ask him if u can go over there and spend time with him while he's with his dad. This prob isn't easy for him and having his girlfriend might be something he wants

    0|0
    0|0
    • I don’t know his dad so can’t really help there. To me, I thought he should want his girlfriend there for hugs etc but he seems to just need space to have down time when he isn’t at work or at hospital.

      My friend has just put the idea that it doesn’t sound like a proper relationship in my head :(

  • Thats tough. Cause his Dad is in a health condition. I dont see why you can't make it exclusive. Its been eight months. You can still take it slow being exclusive. All it means is other people are iff the table. So once he has more time you both can give each other a far chance without others interfering. I think you being there for him in this time meams a lot. I know it would for me. I just think life is permitting the time you two get together. But if you both are on same page then I dont see a issue. God Bless. :)

    0|0
    0|0
    • We have exclusive and we have said that we are in a proper monogamous relationship. We’ve talked about the future.

      Just my friend implying that because he needs space just now and that we aren’t seeing each other lots, means it’s not a proper relationship.

    • Well thats not very understanding of your friend. Im sure if you possed the question on them if their parent was ill with a disease and someone said that to them hiw would they take it? Its life and he is taking care of his Dad. Thats being responsible and not like he planned to meet you at that time this happened. So i think your friend isn't considering the circumstances properly. But thats just my opinion. I hope that makes sense. Plus you have to think he is probably preparing mentaling for losing his Dad. Which everyone deals with lose differently. So its not a normal situation. Im glad you are a caring person and there for him.

  • I think he is in a bad position to have a relationship

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...