Why are American guys no longer able to hold a good conversation?

I am tired! Guys seem to be very self absored and aloof nowadays, i went on multiple date, tried to initiate conversations but nothing, they have a real problem with being expressive like they are too cool to laugh no matter hoe they feel their face is dull and lifeless... i am italian thats not how i want my man to be, i ask them about their insterest or a detail i noticed (like what's written on their shirt) i tried talking about the news you know (the eurovision contest for example, a lot of americans don't know about so i like to explain and give fun facts about it) but they never follow up... they reply to me but when they are done they just don't try and feed the conversation i have to find follow up questions to ask them about their interest but they never ask me anything, they are noy curious at all and they're not giving me anything to work with either... i have lived in the PNW for 6 years now and men here just bore me so much... how do you get them to talk and loosen up!! And also how do you get them to put their phones in their pockets for a bit? I feel like they are so insecure and used to edit everything they say online that when it comes to in person encounters there is just so much math going on in their head, worried they are gonna say the wrong thing since they can't edit things in real life so they are tense and not spontaneous...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • We never really could. Phones have only exacerbated that. They probably feel comfortable with you leading the conversation. Gender roles aren't as predominant as they use to be. Generally I lead a conversation for a love interest like you do but find it more tiresome every day. Some men also don't like to talk. Remember women speak on average 9000 words a day while men speak 900. You may be filling what you feel as awkward silence when they are use to long periods of silence. Try finding someone overly animated.

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    • Lol dude you haven't met my dad!! He talks more than 900 words a day... i don't think i ever saw him shut up, he talks in his sleep too, cursing at football teams!!! The dude never shuts up! I don't think this stats apply to italians...

    • It may not. I remember a family guy plot where the secret password was "Wow look at how quiet that Italian family is" because it would never be said.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • It’s probably the men you go out with. I would never take my phone on a date and use it that’s just plain disrespectful. Some guys need some time to open up and have a conversation with a person but it’s most likely just lack of experience with manners & social Etiquette.

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  • Why? Did you talk to all American guys? You are probably just talking to the wrong people by being unlucky or looking at wrong places. I used to think the same thing about girls, but I got over it. Just keep looking, but don't try too hard, after all your life isn't all about this anyway. Eventually someone nice will come up, always happens.

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  • Change "American" to any other nationality an you'd be called out as racist. To answer your question, it's because you're not as engaging as you think.

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    • This is your guys' favorite wors especially those stupid liberals

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    • I'm not sure where you're from but America isn't totally populated by the intellectually deficient. Think of it like mining for diamonds, you're sure to find a lot of rocks but sometimes you'll strike it rich with a gem. Don't be so easily discouraged by our shortcomings.

    • Calling people racist is America's new favorite thing😂

  • I know right? I hate the way American Millennials act.

    Part of it is that the PNW is notorious for having people who are a little bit closed off. It's called "the Seattle Chill." But it's also partly because people in America aren't really taught how to have conversations anymore. If it doesn't interest me, why would I care about it? I mean if I wasn't bullied so much in highschool, I probably never would have spent hours studying how to socialize online.

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  • So sorry, my dear!! Yes, MANY American men are lost, confused and conflicted!! They don't know how to talk to a woman from Italy, or any other place, when women expect more from the man, that just a few words, while they check their phones!!
    American men, are, almost totally, completely ignorant of anything outside their little, tiny world that is centered within their phone!
    I have no phone, for a reason.
    You said all the things that you didn't like, but what WOULD you like? What kind of food? I am thinking, NOT Italian, as you know that, but what other kind?

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  • The hell do you mean "American Guys" ? That's kinda over the top don't you think? Nobody holds a good conversation especially on an app like this or social media because sometimes were bored or it gets awkward...

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  • It's the guys you're pursuing. They're not into you. Pursue different guys. That said, what even is Eurovision and why should we Americans care? That's Europe, it doesn't affect or involve us.

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  • You aren't spending time with the right type of MEN. You seem intelligent enough to see there are many shallow people out there, but there are still good men that usually get pushed away.

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  • I don't know. Maybe its just your age group. Men around my age are capable of having a conversation.

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  • Hey, i feel the same way. Except without the Italian and eurovision bits

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  • Ya just need a guy who actually understands how to talk

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  • What’s the Eurovision contest?

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  • Maybe they weren’t interested

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  • Prolly cuz I have ad/hd

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  • LOL where have you met some of these guys

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  • Just because.

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  • then get at some italian back at your country

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    • Haha i go to school in america, i need to finish before going back..

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    • College lol i am 22 i d be kind of stupid if i was still in hs haha

    • true.. what state ar you from

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