- It’s an insecurity thing, like what if they love them more and replace me!
- Loving others is disrespectful... not sure why if it’s not about insecurity 🤔
- Enlighten me as to why humans fear this so much below👇
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It depends entirely on the type of relationship you're in. I suppose you could classify my wife and I as swingers, but we really only couple swap with out next door neighbors.
With that being said, I love our neighbors differently than how I love my wife. It's sort of a lustful, platonic friendship that we have some kinky fun with every once in a while. I have an unbreakable companionship with my wife. Although we have sex with other people, we share secrets with one another, and do other things that we'd never dream of with others, including our neighbors. It's just an entirely different bond of partnership.
My wife and I bought our house when we were 18, and we got married last September. Our next door neighbors have always been good friends of ours since we moved in. They invited us to their homes to welcome us to the neighborhood the day after we moved in. But we never really discussed anything sexual until a month or so before our wedding.
My wife and I had only had sex with each other, and I mentioned to our neighbor Ben that she was my only partner. Ben then asked if we were willing for a one time fling before the wedding. My wife and I had discussed it somewhat before, and we were open to the idea. So when the offer came, we took it, mainly because we were such good friends with them. The caveat being that we wanted to wait till after our wedding.
So when we first did it, we shared the same room. And all four of us were so turned on by watching our partners fuck someone else, while also experiencing sex with someone new, was spectacular. So ever since then, we've been hooking up together once every week or two, while also maintaining the friendship we already had.
Yep. We're blessed. I'm more than willing to share more details with you in a message, my dear. ;)
Love is a selfish thing. When we love we limit our self to that person we love. We can love others but not in the same way as we love our partner. But we are loving creatures and some of our love has to flow to all. Because if we don't love others , then their love will not flow to us. Love is an eternal thing and we should know how much love we need to put in which person we wish to love. When you know to keep this balance loving all is just normal thing.
Have an opinion?
Who says it's not ok? I love my wife, and still have love for other women I know, some I've previously dated. There are a handful of other women I'm crushing on but I keep that to myself.
It is perfectly acceptable to love more than one person. It is actually very much a natural phenomenon. We live our parents, siblings, friends, and mates. We still love our past relationships with people who we parted ways on good terms. The idea that we can be physically loving to more than one person has been polluted by past social norms designed by greed, selfishness, and spread of disease. In fact it was polygamy that actually kept the human race from becoming extinct thousands of years ago. On the same thought it was inbreeding that made designed and monogamy marriage a legal action.
In historical terms, women would mate with multiple men and bond with either the alpha male or several males that had reproduction characteristics. As the men would go on hunting parties or war packs; the likely return of only one child producing father was dismal. Even in midevial times, a woman was expected to mate with several warriors to produce more warrior off spring besides the man who provided shelter and substance.
As the centuries passed and the church took a greater role in developing society, marriage was taught as a monogamous union which lands and inheritance would be given to offspring (and the church of course). This begin as a mocking of royalty and false pretentious copy of kingdomship. Thus a previous woman of fertility could be wooed into mating under the guise of marrying into royalty and be crowned a queen someday (my family crest heritage is 13th in line to the king of Scotland; meaning I would need to murder 12 full family trees to be recognized as heir to the throne). Thus regardless of my offspring producing and survival skills, I am considered a highly sought after sperm donor.
I could go on for chapers on evolution of social order but the bottom line will always be that humans are polygamous animals and society can never vanish that from our generations. Today it is purely greed and inherited wealth that still bonds disfunctional relationships instead of true love and respect.
well, I don't believe it isn't ok. but insecurity, followed by religion and possibly morals would be my best guess!
that's why it was the last, because morals are usually instilled due to religion. I was raised Catholic, so being 16 i thought polygamy was wrong. don't tell my mother I said that though 😅😉
Well if you are in a monogamous relationship then it is cheating. Being a part of the BDSM community though I know plenty of people who have a partner they are married to and/or in a romantic relationship with and still have partners and they all know each other. So it does happen, but typically people have become feminized because it is no longer necessary to spread your seed to different partners for the survival of the species.
Well no I mean you can love someone and be with multiple people. You can love multiple people. I agree with you there. It's cheating if you agreed to only be with that one person and you end up being with more than them.
I don't think we are weird. We just do what's necessary. When it is no longer necessary our ideas change. Granted I know plenty of polygamous people.
I dont judge anyone else, People can do whatever they want to with their life, But if i am in a committed relationship with a woman, Then no matter what happens, i won't Flirt with any other woman, Because im loyal and i like to say loyal to one woman
Well for me its considered cheating if you make love to them.
But loving people for who they are nothing wrong with that.
But in a realtionship its not good to have an open one and sleep around. This is not only hurtful because someone gets jealous also can give your partner stds.
I think some people naturally prefer monogamy, and some don't. If both partners are open to loving others, as well as each other, I don't see an ethical problem.
Polyamorous is a deeply primal instinct for men. The more people he can have sex with, the more he reproduces. However for women they can't have more than *one* child at a time therefore polyamority is frowned upon. I am in favour of Polyamorous relationships.
Loving is Okay depending on what type of love it is. If you are in a relationship you need to be in that fully and not cheat.
It's just the way modern relationships have "evolved". Why even bother with relationships, altogether? Basically defeats the entire purpose. Can't go through two doors at the same time, so you should pick one.
I think it has something to having a sense of belonging, and how could you belong to more than one person? That would mean you’d have to share!
I don't know if you can fully love multiple people, but you can lust after multiple people, I'm sure of that.
I'd guess it is part insecurity and part social acceptance. I know some poly relationships that have been pretty successful. I also know others that just completely fell apart due to jealousy.
And they do.. Some get caught some dont. doesn't mean we wouldn't want to. I ALWAYS DO
The psychedelic sixties ended along time ago baby, I guess if you have to relive it. You gotta do what you gotta do.
I don't believe in such a thing as "loving multiple people", that is why it is not ok and I wouldn't personally want it in my relationship.
You should be committed :P
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If you don’t mind me asking, how did you come to that arrangement with your neighbors?