Why isn’t it ok to love multiple people, while in a committed relationship?

People dont own each other just because they’re in a relationship with someone. People don’t stop being humane because they’re in a relationship either, and why should they.
  • It’s an insecurity thing, like what if they love them more and replace me!
    Vote A
  • Loving others is disrespectful... not sure why if it’s not about insecurity 🤔
    Vote B
  • Enlighten me as to why humans fear this so much below👇
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Guy

  • It depends entirely on the type of relationship you're in. I suppose you could classify my wife and I as swingers, but we really only couple swap with out next door neighbors.
    With that being said, I love our neighbors differently than how I love my wife. It's sort of a lustful, platonic friendship that we have some kinky fun with every once in a while. I have an unbreakable companionship with my wife. Although we have sex with other people, we share secrets with one another, and do other things that we'd never dream of with others, including our neighbors. It's just an entirely different bond of partnership.

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    • If you don’t mind me asking, how did you come to that arrangement with your neighbors?

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    • Interesting, lucky too.

    • Yep. We're blessed. I'm more than willing to share more details with you in a message, my dear. ;)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Love is a selfish thing. When we love we limit our self to that person we love. We can love others but not in the same way as we love our partner. But we are loving creatures and some of our love has to flow to all. Because if we don't love others , then their love will not flow to us. Love is an eternal thing and we should know how much love we need to put in which person we wish to love. When you know to keep this balance loving all is just normal thing.

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What Girls & Guys Said

326
  • Who says it's not ok? I love my wife, and still have love for other women I know, some I've previously dated. There are a handful of other women I'm crushing on but I keep that to myself.

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    • Why do you keep it to yourself?

    • Well my wife knows but the women I'm crushing on don't know. That presumably know that I hold them in some esteem. Telling them I am sexually attracted would be way too much information. How could they respond to that?

  • It is perfectly acceptable to love more than one person. It is actually very much a natural phenomenon. We live our parents, siblings, friends, and mates. We still love our past relationships with people who we parted ways on good terms. The idea that we can be physically loving to more than one person has been polluted by past social norms designed by greed, selfishness, and spread of disease. In fact it was polygamy that actually kept the human race from becoming extinct thousands of years ago. On the same thought it was inbreeding that made designed and monogamy marriage a legal action.

    In historical terms, women would mate with multiple men and bond with either the alpha male or several males that had reproduction characteristics. As the men would go on hunting parties or war packs; the likely return of only one child producing father was dismal. Even in midevial times, a woman was expected to mate with several warriors to produce more warrior off spring besides the man who provided shelter and substance.

    As the centuries passed and the church took a greater role in developing society, marriage was taught as a monogamous union which lands and inheritance would be given to offspring (and the church of course). This begin as a mocking of royalty and false pretentious copy of kingdomship. Thus a previous woman of fertility could be wooed into mating under the guise of marrying into royalty and be crowned a queen someday (my family crest heritage is 13th in line to the king of Scotland; meaning I would need to murder 12 full family trees to be recognized as heir to the throne). Thus regardless of my offspring producing and survival skills, I am considered a highly sought after sperm donor.

    I could go on for chapers on evolution of social order but the bottom line will always be that humans are polygamous animals and society can never vanish that from our generations. Today it is purely greed and inherited wealth that still bonds disfunctional relationships instead of true love and respect.

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  • I have only ever loved one woman even though I have been with several

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    • Interesting, I have only ever been with one man even though I have loved several

    • Wow, you are the exact other half of me in that sense

  • well, I don't believe it isn't ok. but insecurity, followed by religion and possibly morals would be my best guess!

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    • It just seems like an odd moral stance given the fact that love is a good thing to feel for others.

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    • Haha, secrets safe with me.

    • 😁😁 perfect!

  • Well if you are in a monogamous relationship then it is cheating. Being a part of the BDSM community though I know plenty of people who have a partner they are married to and/or in a romantic relationship with and still have partners and they all know each other. So it does happen, but typically people have become feminized because it is no longer necessary to spread your seed to different partners for the survival of the species.

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    • How is it cheating? Why is it cheating, I’m not talking about sexual relationships, I’m talking about love.

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    • Humans are weird about this while love thing

    • I don't think we are weird. We just do what's necessary. When it is no longer necessary our ideas change. Granted I know plenty of polygamous people.

  • Who told you that there is something wrong with that?

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  • I dont judge anyone else, People can do whatever they want to with their life, But if i am in a committed relationship with a woman, Then no matter what happens, i won't Flirt with any other woman, Because im loyal and i like to say loyal to one woman

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  • Well for me its considered cheating if you make love to them.
    But loving people for who they are nothing wrong with that.
    But in a realtionship its not good to have an open one and sleep around. This is not only hurtful because someone gets jealous also can give your partner stds.

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  • I think some people naturally prefer monogamy, and some don't. If both partners are open to loving others, as well as each other, I don't see an ethical problem.

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  • Polyamorous is a deeply primal instinct for men. The more people he can have sex with, the more he reproduces. However for women they can't have more than *one* child at a time therefore polyamority is frowned upon. I am in favour of Polyamorous relationships.

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  • Loving is Okay depending on what type of love it is. If you are in a relationship you need to be in that fully and not cheat.

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  • It's just the way modern relationships have "evolved". Why even bother with relationships, altogether? Basically defeats the entire purpose. Can't go through two doors at the same time, so you should pick one.

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  • I m thinking on this topic too
    I think its the religion lead us to

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  • I think it has something to having a sense of belonging, and how could you belong to more than one person? That would mean you’d have to share!

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  • It’s okay to love multiple people, I’m almost in a poly relationship

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  • I don't know if you can fully love multiple people, but you can lust after multiple people, I'm sure of that.

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  • I'd guess it is part insecurity and part social acceptance. I know some poly relationships that have been pretty successful. I also know others that just completely fell apart due to jealousy.

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  • And they do.. Some get caught some dont. doesn't mean we wouldn't want to. I ALWAYS DO

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  • I think because we've been conditioned this way by everyone

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  • The psychedelic sixties ended along time ago baby, I guess if you have to relive it. You gotta do what you gotta do.

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  • I don't believe in such a thing as "loving multiple people", that is why it is not ok and I wouldn't personally want it in my relationship.

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  • I haven't had real love in my life since I was 17.

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  • You should be committed :P

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  • Hey to each their own..

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  • its competition and competition is the enemy

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  • Who says it's not ok, and why do I care?

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  • Who knows if its even possible

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  • It is ok just don, t let your pertner know

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  • If its a open relationship, its okay.

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    • But we are just talking about love, not sex, so why does it need to be an open relationship

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