Guys I need your opinion?

So yesterday I was at my boyfriend's house and he seriously triggered my PTSD. He doesn't know that he did but ever since it happened it's been eating me up inside. If I tell him that something he did triggered by PTSD he will hate himself for weeks, I just need advice on what to do.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Not a guy but I had PTSD from ages 12-15, then I was re-traumatized at age 18, and every now and then it's still triggered, so I have a bit of experience in explaining my situation to boyfriends. Unfortunately most of the ways I tried to explain it they misunderstood. Either they would get mad at me for "overreacting", feel terrible, or take my explanation as an apology and not bother adjusting their behavior towards me and would do it over and over again. The one that worked the best most often in situations where they were most likely to feel bad was explaining what happened to me, and then explaining my triggers complete with examples triggered by random sounds, inanimate objects, or other people I'm close to in order to show that there was no way he could've known that would hurt me. It's sort of like smelling brownies and immediately having a memory of being at your grandma's house, but instead it's a noise or similar movement or similar language that triggers a vivid memory of something very traumatic. I mean for a while, oak leaves falling triggered me. It does get better though.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • It seems that your options are: I don't trust my boyfriend and I will let him continue to walk on eggshells around me
    Or
    I trust my boyfriend and I will hurt him now a little with the truth so that he knows for the future and we can have a stronger relationship because of it.

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  • Tell him. Else he might keep triggering your ptsd. He would hate himself more if he finds out in the future that he's been unknowingly triggering your ptsd.

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    • But if I tell him he will mope around and hate himself and hit things until his hand is swollen again. It kills me to see him like that.

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    • Oh I've tried, trust me

    • Then, maybe open up about his neurotic coping mechanism first? That he may need professional help with how he copes up. It might cause bigger problems in the long run

  • Talk to him about it, bring it up in a certain way and tell him itll just upset you more if he hates himself for it, its going to be a problem if it happens again. Communication solves 99% of all problems

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  • Bitch you're 17, unless you were ass raped for years you don't have fucking ptsd

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  • Your boyfriend needs to know what it is exactly that he did that triggered you so that he can avoid doing it again. If you don't tell him, maybe he'll do it again not knowing it triggers you.

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  • Just make it clear that you don't blame him for it and that it wasn't his fault.

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  • Stop being a retard just tell him or it will happen again and he won't know what to do

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    • Thanks for insulting me...

    • If u want to focus on the insult do that but the advise still stands if u don't tell him what happend he will know u are hiding it and it will be worst

  • Tell him. You need to be honest. It will only help him understand you better.

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  • Tell him

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  • i like your boyfriend

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