Should I end things with my boyfriend?

I really think i care for my boyfriend but lately i think of ending the relationship because I feel like i am more upset than i am happy with him. I think he is a good guy but sometimes he just doesn't understand what will upset me. Let me reiterate that he is really sweet, loyal, he spoils me and has good intentions. I used to try making him food to do something special for him.. but the second time he was two hours late and i had to keep the food warm. He was helping his family which i understand, but it doesn't make things less disappointing. He has a friend that i have history with and do not like, and decided to play middle man when his friend wanted to borrow some of my medication and ask me to do a research paper for him even though i do not reply to or hang around this person. He went out all night the day before my birthday and was hung over that morning at work. He acted okay during my birthday but it still bothered me when he said he was tired and that he didn't think enough of my birthday to want to be 100% on it. I also spent hours on a present for him one day and really wanted to have it ready for him when he got off work.. but he ended up going out with his friend that night instead because he said he promised him days before. He said he wanted to go to a horse show to support me but didn't come because i told him he would be too late to see me. He went riding with me one time but acted totally disinterested like he would rather be somewhere else. The other night i went out with my friends and he went out with his, he said i was concerned because when he saw me i was terribly drunk, but didn't text me that night. This seems like a lot to have happened in just a couple months, and i appreciate all he does for me but it almost seems like im often disappointed in him. I think he tries a lot of the time but that he is too busy for me sometimes. Im wondering whether i should give it more time or look into ending things.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I personally think he's making efforts for your relationship. Surely these things may upset or disappoint you but they're definitely not enough of a reason to break up. Every relationship will have a phase or several moments of arguments/fights/misunderstandings because you r getting to know each other and what you like. Simply discuss everything that makes you upset, with him. He might put even more efforts than he already does and there is nothing wrong, plus that'll help him get to know u better and he will know what to do and what to avoid doing in the future. Like a lot of people say, communication is the key, and they're totally right about that.

    • We communicate a lot, and he does try to fix things. I just wonder if our personality and nature are good for one another. Right now i feel like he upsets me a lot and i hate even saying anything about it currently.

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    • One tip I can give u is to let him make plans so that he feels more responsible with being on time and not cancelling them.
      As for the disappointment part.. try to not expect anything or set your expectations too high. There is always a chance for things not going as planned or expected, and it's not always your partner's fault. Of course if he's not trying, that's a different story, but if it's not in his hands, then simply trying not to have any expectations will save you a lot of disappointments.

    • Thank you for the advice

Most Helpful Guy

  • I going to chime in but just did want you to think Boone is reading you..
    I've got to tell you. You sound like you know what you want. So as long as your being respected and your not giving up any of your long term goals.
    You know it sucks out here. Trying to find some one that you can trust and that has your back. your not going to be happy every minute in any relationship. is there respect love and trust. Good luck. I wish. Be careful what you pray for.

    • Thank you, i will keep that in mind.

    • Just did want to blow smoke. Just remember if work out you no wear theirs and honest guy at. Thanks.

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • I get that you would want him to pay more attention to you. But it also seemed like you expect his life to revolve around yours at all times.
    Both of your expectations of each other seemed a little misaligned.
    Did you try talking to him? If so, what did he say?

    • He apologizes and he tries to avoid upsetting me. But usually just ends up upsetting me in another way

  • there's no shame if someone isn't living up to your reasonable expectations but make sure you do voice these concerns to him before you end it, because he may not notice actually.

    • I have made sure to, and he often apologizes or explains why things happened but that doesn't make it better when these things happen.

    • Then its not for you, thats okay

  • Simply one question: Do you feel comfortable?

    • I feel comfortable with him, but i feel restless about everything currently

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    • I expect him to be more caring in action and not just words. I wish that he was more consistent with plans and that he wouldn't feel the need to party separately. I wish he was a little more protective regarding me and my feelings and asked my opinion on whether certain things make me feel bad. I wish he would ask about questionable things instead of letting me get upset and then asking why i am. I just wish he had basic knowledge of dating. Every girl i have talked to would have the same issues with him and some of it seems like common sense in a relationship. Im disappointed because I dont want to control him so i dont want to talk to him about it and i wonder how much i should allow him to change for me. I want him to be himself. But a lot of the things he does i can't deal with continuously.

    • It is not controlling if you talk to him about your feelings and expectations. Ifyou can´t deal with his actions, a relationship doesn´t make sense.

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