Do you agree with this statement about dating?

saw this post in a reddit thread

"Your looks have very little to do with your success at getting women. I would advice you to rethink your approach or game plan. Women don't judge men in the same way as men judge women and therefore are attracted to different qualities."

please give reasons why or why not you agree

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1112

Most Helpful Guy

  • In general, it is a mistake to assume that women think, feel, or react in the same way that men do under any particular circumstances. Our differences are much more significant than just body parts. The failure to appreciate this difference is what leads to many problems in relationships, because one partner makes assumptions about what the other partner "must be" thinking or feeling.

    Women do not judge men in the same way that men judge women. That doesn't mean that appearance is not a significant factor for women. Some women are extremely particular about appearance: must be physically fit, must be taller than 5' 10", etc. Some women are more tolerant of overweight men. Women seem to develop attraction to a male based on experiences with a guy and his perceived personality traits. With us guys, if we are not attracted initially, it will probably never develop.

    I think self-confidence is a quality that most women emphasize when selecting a mate and many men overlook this factor. So, if you wanna know what you are doing wrong in dating relationships, ask a member of the opposite sex.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1111
  • I only agree with the part where they say women are attracted to different qualities than men. While women in general aren't as visual as men, it doesn't mean looks wouldn't matter at all. Someone's appearance is the first thing you see about them and that will be the thing to spark the initial interest. I do think women need more than just good looks to find someone attractive, though.

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  • I disagree with very little, BUT i do agree looks are one part of what you have to offer someone and for them to take interest with you, i'd go personality anyday.

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  • Looks don’t matter AS much to women, but if I’m being perfectly honest, if a man was butt ugly (as in not just below average but super bad looking), there’s not a good chance I’d date him.

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  • I disagree. Everyone judges by looks first. Now looks might not be as big of thing, but there's gotta be at least enough of them for her to even think of him romantically.
    Now if a average guy with not that amazing of looks has a really great personality, a girls who's not a shallow little creep would be more than willing to date him.
    But this is also true for any guy who's not a creep... So I think the whole basis of this statement is flawed.

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  • I think everyone needs physical attraction, but I also believe that physical attraction is something that develops in spite of outward appearance and that women may have a greater capacity for this.

    I'm somewhat of a demisexual, and my emotional investments tend to translate into physical attraction.
    I obviously don't have the authority to tell, but it seems to be similar to what some women describe as their experience.

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  • That’s super true. Women are more attracted to personality then looks. I mean don’t get me wrong, we love a hot guy. But we tend to put personality before appearance (as long as the guy isn’t totally unattractive). For example, i’ve know guys that are super hot but i would never like them cause they are douches

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  • Looks aren’t AS important to women but they still matter. I think more is expected of guys when it comes to dating tbh we gotta look presentable, make money, be charming, good in bed, funny, etc girls just have to look presentable and not be too bitchy and all they have to do is exist to get guys hitting on them.

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  • Disagree Mose people judge by having good looks. To me good looks not as in important then his personality. always love my boyfriend he has amazing personality and skills that we had lot of things in common.

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  • bullshit lol... that is complete bullshit
    sure... finances and wealth is equally important to a women, more than a guy... but these days... not a chance

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    • to be honest... from what I see with the girls in our group and from the girls in high school... most girls are settling with the guy that just has his shit together...

      if you have a house, a car, money in the bank... if you can give her that stability... I notice girls over 25 look for that more...

  • I mostly agree with it in the literal sense. I entirely agree with it in the message it's trying to convey, which is to stop worrying about looks. Looks will certainly have an influence, but it absolutely will not prevent someone from getting a girl. Plus, a guy who is good looking, and knows he's good looking, is a huge negative with a LOT of girls.

    It won't prevent girls from getting a guy either. Looks might catch a guy's eye from half a state away. But looks alone aren't going to get it with most guys. There needs to be some substance.

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  • I’d actually agree with this, to an extent, especially the older I get.
    I think attraction matters, hugely so, but what becomes attractive about a man isn’t necessarily his physical appearance by conventional standards. I think there needs to be enough there to spark an interest, an initial reaction of “blugh don’t touch me” will never grow into more just because of other desirable qualities (not for a genuine relationship anyway).

    But, for me personally and those in my circle still dating the standard on physical appearance has lowered in favour of other personal attributes where there likely wouldn’t have been much of an effort for those men a few years ago. It becomes about more - a life and future together instead of having fun with the hottest somebody we can grab

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  • What you look like is not as important as what you are like as a person.

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  • Looks are important too. You have to feel physical attraction.

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  • Women do judge men on their physic appearance if the guy is ugly he would not get a girlfriend unless he's rich or something.

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  • I forget what they are called, but you know those guys who know all the tricks to manipulate women into having sex with them? Tons of them are hideous monstrosities. Don’t ask women what they think, they don’t know. I firmly believe that. These expert dudes who can practically fuck any woman they want using manipulation are real.

    My point is, you don’t need to look good. Women will swear up and down that they care about looks but these ugly fucking sex experts will have that same woman begging for dick.

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    • Now I don’t see that as a viable strategy for myself or most men. Those guys are trying to fuck the 10s and the 10s respond to this shit. If you want to fuck 10s well maybe that is your only option. If you want to find a real woman for a real relationship, I still agree with what you quoted.

      So what if you’re ugly and short. Get fit, dress like a fuckin BOSS, learn how to be confident, and own it! Guys who think it’s all about looks always fail with women, and they fail because they don’t know shit!

    • Stop with the self defeating mentality, pick yourself the fuck up, be the best version of yourself you can be, and bitches will be all over you. Because high quality men are a rarity. Most of us are too busy whining and crying because “boohoo women only care about money and looks!” That’s why they are single, cause they are WRONG.

      The sooner you get that through your heads the better. Stop being weak, because that’s what it is.

  • I think at least to a good extent it's true. Not entirely right though.

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  • I agree with the bottom part to it. Everything else is questionable

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  • The last sentence is somewhat accurate but the rest is bullshit. Looks have a lot to do with your success at getting anyone

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    • "rethink your approach or game plan" just translates to 'find someone of your own caliber'

  • I wouldn't say very little, but in comparison to men totally. Welcome to biology my friend.

    Men have very different deep biological drives for pursuing a mate. Where we are subconsciously looking for the best genetically superior female to pass our genes along with females ultimately have the final pick. Generally speaking women are looking for a protection and provider first. So while looks have to be what kick starts the interest its ultimately the underlying qualities that make the decision.

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  • That's complete bullshit women have eyes too

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  • Biullshit.

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  • I agree with part of it

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