How can I get better at being confident in myself when it comes to talking to people?

This comes into play when I'm into somebody and I: a) get nervous and say friendly shit instead of trying to interest her into a possible relationship. or b) have no idea what to talk about. any help would be greatly appreciated because all my friends have either been in or are in relationships and I'm 18 and have never actually dated anybody or had anybodies interest, I feel left out sometimes and wanna know how to fix it.

0|0
19

Most Helpful Guy

  • You're coming off with a caring tone. Try starting a sentance sharply then shifting to a Barry Mantelo tone at the end of your approach line. This causes adrenaline then cuts it off giving a feeling of excitement. Read a book on public speaking.

    0|1
    0|0
    • I'll do the book part, cos I'm still not sure what that meant lol, I also have a really low self esteem cos I'm a bigger dude and it's in my head that that's gonna completely fuck everything up for me, yanno

    • No I'm 300lbs. Women love men bigger than them. A sharp tone is like your father yelling at you for something stupid. This causes a rush to your audience. Then shifting to a deep slow tone brings calmness. These shifting tones instill a subconscious reaction to watch you to see what's going on. Works the best during a pick up line. There's more in any book on public speaking.

    • alright, will take into account, cheers man

Most Helpful Girl

  • Confidence = comfortability
    try to be confortable with whatever or whoever you see or speak to... if you accomplish that then it will a great start

    0|1
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Loading...

Have an opinion?

What Girls & Guys Said

08
  • You have to be comfortable with yourself. People pick up on that. They either like who you are, naturally, or they don't. Don't try convincing anybody to like you.

    Imagine somebody you're not interested in somebody and they're making an effort to convince you otherwise, that could get awkward or annoying. Make sure you're not being that way toward them.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Always remember people will also be anxious on first contact, and most times, are just waiting to someone to talk to them. Try talking to employees on businesses around you, most are just bored from doing nothing and would love an agreeable customer to have a chat, be it over the counter or in something like Zara

    0|0
    0|0
  • Be honest with yourself and others. You're not confident because there are things about you that you want to hide. As soon as you start telling or showing people those flaws, by being honest, you'll want to fix them. Once you fix them, you'll be more confident and want to talk about how you used to be, which will also give you something to talk about.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I used to be completely socially retarded.

    Look people in the eyes. Never break eye contact first, especially with girls. It’s hard at first, was for me, but simply doing that totally changed how people would talk and interact with me.

    As for having endless conversation, what I do is what I made up on my own. The eye contact thing you can look up anywhere. But what I do when talking to people, is 1. I’m open and honest about myself. And 2. I’m curious to know more about whoever I’m taking to. For example:

    0|0
    0|0
    • Talking to other men taught me this. See, generally, men will act like they are tough and macho, ladies man who gets pussy, with a big dick.

      Me, I’ll be honest when talking about women. “I dunno, I suck with women.” Suddenly guys I’m talking to will change their tune. They will be willing to admit that they aren’t exactly pimp playas either. This allows us to be more open and honest and become real friends, rather than have one of those Macho fantasy relationships where all you can talk about is football otherwise you’re gay.

    • The same applies to girls. I’m very open and honest, and I am curious about her. It takes practice I’m sure to kind of learn to ask “deep” questions or reveal “deep” things about yourself. But women love emotion too. Not like crying like a bitch, but they love to see you’re passionate about anything. Own who you are and the things you’re passionate about and don’t be shy about it.

      I’ll tell bitches I love nerd shit, and they only get curious about me, even though most nerd guys will turn them off. Because nerd guys are shy and are not confident in the emotions they feel for the things they love and enjoy. So don’t be like that.

      Talking to girls is real easy, they are experts at talking and talk way too fucking much. If you can’t endlessly talk to a girl, either she’s a terrible talker or you are. Point is, you can practice.

    • Try to actually be interested in other people. Ask about the things they say. Bring in your history and ask about theirs. The things in life that shaped who you are, you might have an idea about those things. Everyone has things in life that shaped who they are. These are the things I focus on personally because I see that as getting to know who they truly are. And I tell them about my experiences that shaped me so they can get to know who I am.

      Don’t be ashamed. Own it. And they will open up to you.

  • I'm trying to figure out same, because girl want a nest friend in their relationship then they friend zone us all the sudden not into us..

    0|0
    0|0
  • Practice. Just say anything and observe how people respond. Then dictate your method of interaction based on positive or negative responses form people

    0|0
    0|0
  • Need to step out of your comfort zone, try approaching women in the street and just ask for directions and start up a convo

    0|0
    0|0
  • always assume they like you, focus on them not you use them as a distraction to get the edge off

    0|0
    0|0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

Recommended myTakes

Loading...