Calling ex girl on her birthday?

Been dating this girl on and off for over a year. Just broke up for the 10th time about a month ago. Every month she pushes away and says she is scared and that I am just going to end up hurting her and asks me to leave her alone. I back off, and then a month later she comes back again and says she can't stay away from me even when she tries to. And as soon as it progresses and gets "real" again, she pulls away again and shuts me out completely. Her only real boyfriend she's had broke her heart right before I met her so she's all messed up and thinks I will do the same thing. Her birthday is this week and we haven't spoken in a month, should I call, or respect her wishes this time and "leave her alone" again ? We have a lot of mutual friends and she lives in Seattle in my same street... Don't know what to do. Don't want to seem like a doormat chump for calling her, but don't want to be a jerk either...


Most Helpful Girl

  • i agree you should probably more on, but if you want to contact her maybe send a text instead. then you can show you oare thinking of her and she can choose to answer if she wants to talk or not answer if she doesnt

    • But isn't text kinda immature and impersonal. Grown men pick up the phone right? Why do girls pull this "scared" stuff ? She knows I've been dating other girls all year, and I never told her I "needed" to be together with her. I just like hanging out with her, but it always ends up turning into something more than just friends, and that's when she freaks out and runs away.

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    • Calling will show that you care and may help her realize that you are serious...but only call if you are seroius about her

    • I am. But don't want to invade her space and can't tell whether or not my call is welcome.

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What Girls Said 1

  • i know how you feel I'm in a simialr situation. except my boyfriend is on off with me. its hard isn't it.we have to make them chase us and desire us again and keep it up that's what we gotta do. don't know how to?


What Guys Said 1

  • I hate it when girls play games. your waisting your time with her. I wouldn't call or answer. if she is a good person don't be rude about it but what she's pulling on you isn't verry cool. kinda sounds like your the back up plan

    • I don't need a relationship with her, and I have told her that many times. We always try to be "just friends" but then we start hooking up and it always turns into something "more" - and that's about the time she bails and runs away. It's not about being a "back up plan" - she knows I have been dating other girls and even walked into a place where I was having dinner with another girl when I had been with her a few nights before. She knows I'm not "waiting around."

    • Oh I see. thought she was trying to play some game. just don't hook up with her anymore simple as that. I don't see why you wouldn't wish your friend happy birthday. key word friend not fwb.

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