How does one deal with other people’s view of age gaps?

Just not sure how to go about dating as an older guy.

So I’m 26 and going to uni. I’m surrounded by cute girls, most of them in their teens. Certainly the ones I would want to date are. I don’t have a problem with age gaps, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to navigate around other peoples view of me — whatever people’s problem with age gaps is.
Updates:
I'm referring more to approaching people and getting into relationships that would have an age gap, as opposed to being in a relationship already and having to deal with negative opinions.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The age gap between 19-22 and a 26 year old is wide. lol! Even though it is only about 6 years give or take a year. lol!

    But since you are in their environment (school), I do not see it being such a big thing to someone younger than you. That you are going to the same school should make the gap negligible, I would expect.

    Do you really think it is an issue for you? Not to be mean, but maybe they just have not been interested and it had nothing to do with your age? Just wondering...

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    • I don't know how much of an issue it's going to be. I'm trying to build some familiarity and escalate smoothly but nothing is really out in open yet, so I can't say if they have a problem with age yet. I'm just worried moving forward.

      I just lost a girlfriend and the friendship our relationship came from because she decided her parents wouldn't approve (of the age gap) and she wanted to protect that relationship at all costs. So after that and trying to gauge how the girls around me see me is making me insecure about it.

      Another fear is that I've been assigned the role of 'just friends' from the start because they see me as too old and I don't even know it. Maybe the only reason talk to me or feel comfortable around me at all is because they think I'm totally platonic.

      I'm terrified that it's all going to blow up in my face and all because *other* people have a stick up *their* butt.

    • I think because you are going to school with them the age difference will not be such a big deal.

      I know it is easy to get caught up in wondering what may happen but maybe you should forget about what could happen and just take it day by day.

      Get to know some of your classmates - male and female. Hang out with them socially. I really think the age gap will not be such a big deal.

      The friend zone thing is probably a bigger concern as it is for must men... unfortunately. :( I feel for you guys, I really do.

      Good luck. Keep us posted. I am interested to hear more about your experiences with this.

Most Helpful Guy

  • As long as you date girls over 18 you don't need to explain shit

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What Girls & Guys Said

41
  • In my culture, we don't care about age gaps. But of course not till the extent of being with a minor. Honestly, the only thing I can say is don't bother with what people think. The ones in the relationship are you and her and it's between you guys so.

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    • My concern is more about being single and getting younger girls to like me without copping a world of shame and hurt from them.

  • I mean no matter what it's gonna be weird. No way how you splice it it's still a 7 or 8 year age gap and that is a little unconventional especially at that age. All you should be concerned with is you and the girl, that's it, people won't like it but you cannot change that. Also by the way what uni?

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    • Being in a relationship is no problem for me if we're both on board with it. The issue is being single and looking for a relationship with people that might have a problem with it. My concern is doing everything right and still getting ruined by a number attached to my name -- basically for being born wrong.

      I go to QUT. You too?

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    • Look please, look at the viewpoint of 17-19 year olds and their friends. There's somewhat of a generational gap, you're at two very different points in your life it's not comfortable for most girls. You likely don't have much in common with them and they see you as a mature age student that gives insight into life but don't see you as a romantic partner. Most girls think you're too old, which is warranted and many see you as someone who wants to manipulate young girls to become subservient to you. This might not be true but when you become this 26 year old constantly trying to hook up with girls, exclusively 7-9 years his senior, it seems like you have an agenda. Once this happens to one person it spreads, you become the creepy 30 year old and no one wants to have anything to do with you. I don't blame them, hell i'd be a part of the group perpetuating it.

    • In part I think it's a little bit of Asperger's that means I relate better to younger people, but it's not just that. I do have a lot in common with them and don't relate to people closer to my age at all. People who are 24-25 feel older than me. I'm looking for the same things as they are. Saying I'm at a different point in my life is an assumption though. I'm not, that's the thing.

      They seem unwarranted assumptions.

      I don't get the idea that older guys are necessarily manipulative. Is it that older people are considered more capable? Isn't it at least just as likely that I'd be a great guy than a bad one compared to same age guys? If I have the experience, good principles and the emotional stability of getting older, then shouldn't I be at least just as worthy of consideration?

      Is an 18yo who doesn't know what he's doing supposed to be better? Is he incapable of harm?
      Is it fine to try and manipulate younger women if the women are old enough? Is that what it means? No comprendo.

  • Teens as in, there's a “teen” when you say their name?

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    • Age* not name

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    • I dont mean like, maturity as in acts young. I mean she likely wouldn't of had the same experiences most 20+ year olds get around too, which would be difficult.

    • Same thing, still the same assumption. Maybe they have the experience, maybe they don't need experience with me, maybe I don't have the experience and after all that, maybe it still doesn't matter and we get along great. It's still an assumption, there's no real reason to it.

  • So long as it's legal, and you are happy, who gives a fuck what anyone else thinks.

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  • ephebophilia

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    • What about it?

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    • Bruh U won’t suffer if u don’t date a teenager, I’m pretty sure there are plenty of ladies your age that you would want to date

    • I'm not around people 'my age,' I don't relate to them and thus don't want to date them anyway. The girls I get along with and can relate to are these other uni students. I have more in common with these people excluding my chronological age.

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