My boyfriend and I have complete opposite love languages. Are we compatible?

Heโ€™s my best friend. We have been dating for 4 1/2 years, and living together for over 1 year. His love languages are doing things for him and gifts, where as mine are touch and quality time together. I make a big effort to try to show him love in his everyday, but he doesnโ€™t in mine. I have been unhappy because of it lately, but he is persistent on us not breaking up. Are we able to be happy together with such polar opposite views on showing love?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Of course.

    The truth of love languages isn't that you have the same love language it is just about learning what your partner's love language is and then doing things for them and expressing love to them in that language.

    If you know your mate feels loved when you give gifts and do acts of service than DO acts of service and get him little gifts.

    If he knows your love language is physical touch and quality time than he should touch you and hold you and cuddle and plan things to do together and make time for you.

    Each just has to do the work to learn each other's and then put in the effort to love their mate in their mates LL. If he loves you and knows what it is you need to feel loved I can't imagine why he wouldn't do it.

    Does he know it? Have you told him what yours is and told him you don't feel loved by him?

    by the way, physical touch and quality time are mine top two also.

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    • I have talked to him multiple times about it, but nothing has changed. He gets so annoyed with me when I ask for those things, after doing the things he likes all day for him. Thank you for this, itโ€™s very helpful ๐Ÿ˜‡

    • ps - if he KNOWS your love language but doesn't care and leaves you starving for love in the way he won't give... that's kind of a clear way of NOT loving you. Who really loves a woman and knows what she needs but doesn't care enough to give it?

      I hope your guy comes around and starts making you feel loved or you find someone that will.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Try to speak to him. Tell him what you want and that its not just gifts.
    You already had a 4 and half year relationship, I don't think you guys could've come this far if you weren't compatible.

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    • He doesnโ€™t really show me love in his love language either.. itโ€™s pretty rare and far in between. Iโ€™ve talked to him multiple times already ๐Ÿ˜“

    • What does he say?

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What Girls & Guys Said

19
  • I think there's ways to save it. Maybe he could compromise. Or maybe you could change your views on love. Realize when he shows love in a different language still realize it's love and appreciate it. Because if it's just you feeling that he doesn't love you because he doesn't talk in your love language then doesn't that fix it?

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    • You're automatically kind of assuming the problem is his that he has to change to meet your needs. What have you done to change to make yourself happy?

    • Show All
    • @cassandralovvve Actually I'm not sure where I heard it information on it is out there somewhere.

    • That sounds pretty familiar actually, Iโ€™m a huge Ted Talks fan ๐Ÿ˜›โœŒ๐Ÿผ Iโ€™ll go check it out!!!

  • Its a really hard thing to do but if you're consistent with your affection, eventually he will reciprocate. Unless he doesn't. Which is when you know it's over.

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  • You don't have to be compatible; you just have to make an effort to speak each other's language. You are, but he is not. Unless he starts, I don't think the relationship will last.

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    • He used to in the past, but I think he got comfortable and stopped since he doesnโ€™t see us breaking up anytime soon ๐Ÿ˜“

    • I have so much love for him, but it sucks not getting that feeling back

  • If heโ€™s not willing to work on yours, no. If he is, yes.

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  • Do pro and cons witch has more that's your answer. Or ask questions see how many things you have in common. Write what things you like and he dose and if it's over 50% then you stay together if 50% and under means your done

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    • We are polar opposite most of the time, our interests are very different. The way we view things are different. I appreciate that about him, but I also want a life partner that I can share the things I love to do with them. Itโ€™s hard when we can find nothing to do together

    • Thanks for the advice, Iโ€™ll really think about that ๐Ÿ’•

  • Unless he shows an effort to speak your love language, I don't think it's fair

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  • Do you speak his love language also 4 and a half years is a long time to decide this

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    • I know ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ It hasnโ€™t been an issue until now though, because he tried speaking mine more in the past. I think he seems comfortable now though and hasnโ€™t felt like trying since he doesnโ€™t see us breaking up anytime soon

    • And u have spoken to him about it

    • Yeah I have ๐Ÿ˜ช Multiple times. Iโ€™m wondering if Iโ€™m asking too much of him, and outside opinions are nice

  • Make him suck your poosy

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  • You guys should smash

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  • Already sounds stagnet

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