The longer answer is that there is something about my personality that has to change, but I'm not sure what it is.
This is all so frustrating and depressing. I'm going to die alone and I hate it. How does anyone deal with it?
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You're not the only one. Just try not to put so much into it (no expectations). If it happens, it's a nice surprise, just don't expect anything. That's how I deal with it lol.
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