What psychology is behind being dominant in bed?

Do you have a specific opinion or guess as to why men like to be dominant during sex?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Small dicked men with insecurities and those with bigger dicks that are arrogant generally feel the need to dominate. They have setting to prove or uphold.
    Sensation varies between the two, so I'm told (smaller, uncut more sensitive, longer, circumcised less sensitive) but these two both can do similar things visually they get pleasure from seeing the other in a weaker submissive state.
    I'm probably going to be told different I'm sure.
    But it's about power and control, feel out of control in your life generally you will try to find at least one area that you can.
    I hope this helps.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 8

  • It’s our sense of the ‘herd.’ Men have a primal sense of territory and ownership, and part of that sense is the need to be in control of our territory. We simply need to be the ‘king’ of our domain, whether that domain be our room, our suburban house, our community, or our nation.

    That includes our women. It may not be PC in the modern way of thinking, but as I said, it’s primal instead of rational. We need to be in control, or we feel that we’re not fulfilling our role. Furthermore, that’s reinforced to us by the fact that nearly all women have a primal need or desire to be subject to a strong man and to be his domain, even being controlled by him, if only in bed. It’s simply our primal sense of manhood.

    And to be clear, it isn’t something we just rationally think we *should* do. It’s integrated into our primal being. In other words, we don’t just *act* dominant. We *are* dominant creatures. Modern society is conditioning guys to rationalize that this isn’t the case, and that is creating a very confused generation of men and a very frustrated and discouraged generation of women who wish guys would man up.

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  • My guess is due to the biological aspects of our mind. In nature for example, you most always see the male as the dominant gender in the relationship. Another aspect might be to feel power, or powerful, which many guys like to make a woman submissive because they like the feeling of power. This is why women are always looking for power in a man, it's simply a biological trait

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    • 4d

      How do sumbmissive males and dominant females play into your theory

    • 4d

      Those are exceptions, just like how in nature, there are some species where the dominant trait is primarily seen in the females.

  • It's really about power and control, in both directions. Someone the most common clients for female Dom's are men who are dominant and successful businessmen in their daily life. Sometimes the control is chased, sometimes it's given away. They is no clear cut answer to what lies behind that. Also because psychology is a soft science and what applies to some, doesn't to others. So you can't say it's biology or evolution for sure

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  • I'll tell you why I like it, but I may not speak for all men. I'd say it's because of the feeling of control and power that you get from it. Describing where the feeling comes from would take a lot more explaining.

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  • Testosterone. My sex drive is so strong that it's really that I'm pushing hard for that orgasm. Sometimes even when she's on top I'll get so impatient and horny that I'll flip her on her back and start thrusting harder.

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  • Because it's human nature. Stop trying to figure it out and just roll with it!

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  • Evolution…

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  • I’m the total opposite. I wish I was dominated in bed!!!

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What Girls Said 1

  • Dominance is most often correlated to someone having a lack of control within their own life, having too much control is seen as manifesting as submission. Interestingly both men and women have a tendency towards submission, you’ll end up seeing this once you work out how prevalent fem dom and cuckholding fantasies are within men.

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