Girls, When a girl says she wants me to listen are my problems less important?

I've fallen into a classic guy mistake. When my girlfriend would tell me her problems instead of just telling her that they suck, I would try to come up with solutions to her problems. I would also try to compete with my own converse problems because it made me feel bad that she had problems that I couldn't do anything about. Do you think that when a girl is telling you her problems that she thinks she has it worse off than you, or do you think that she hears your problems and takes them in the same way, and I just don't pick up on the sympathy since she isn't coming up with her own converse problems?
(I hope this doesn't come across as me being a jerk too much)


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What Girls Said 1

  • read a book called "nonviolent communication"
    You don't have to solve her problems.
    1. just tell her what you understand about the situation from her point of view without blaming anyone
    2. tell her how you think she feels because of it
    3. tell her what you think she needs
    4. ask her what she would think would solve the problem

    YOU DO NOT have to solve her problems.

    You can tell her your problems too, but she does not have to solve them. You do.
    1. what are your problems
    2. how you feel about them
    3. what you think you need
    4. ask her if she would think a certain solution should solve it... YOU THINK OF THE SOLUTION


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