How to politely and not offensively ask my boyfriend who is from a Spanish country, if he is legal and not using me for a green card?

Soo I’ve never been in this situation before. I’m 23. I met a guy who is from El Salvador, he’s 33. I’ve only known him for about 1.5 weeks. We met because he works near where I do at a restaurant. He was married and is in the process of getting a divorce. He has a 1 year old son. We have a lot of similarities and a really great connection but now I’m wondering if that was all an act or false because he’s trying to marry me or something. I don’t know how the legalization works in the US, or what the green card honestly is. My friend brought it up and now I’m concerned. I want to ask this guy if he’s legal, I want to make sure I’m not being used in any way.
I am more freaked out since we’ve been on 4 dates and on the last date he said we could get married (I thought he was joking but he said it a few times throughout the evening) and then said he wanted to have my children in a few years. He seems to be moving fast with me, but I know some guys once they fall for a girl they get crazy too. I’ve had it happen with other guys. I’m quite pretty (not trying to sound stuck up but I have a lot of guys after me) and I’m young... but I don’t want to be stupid, and I truthfully feel really bad about the thought of accusing him of this but people do it all the time. How do I ask him? He is super sweet and nice so I don’t want to come off accusatory.

Also I briefly saw an ID (maybe working id?) in his pocket, it was all black and white though?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I will try to answer this the best way possible. From the comments below l see that only bigots came to answer your question without answering your question and adding their sterotypes. I personally think that you probably shouldn’t see him just because of a massive age difference and the fact that you are young Andre probably needs a women more mature who’s going to want to settle down in a couple of years l don’t see someone your age setting down at least til late 20s and l don’t think he’s looking to wait more than 2 years. In his culture people tend to get married a lot quicker than in the states so l see a lot of possible differences. But if he makes you happy than stick around and if he respects you he will wait.

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    • Thank you, very respectable, honest and helpful answer.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Just don't marry him and keep seeing him. If he suddenly disappears or INS comes for him, there is your answer. If things work out and you're together for a few years, maybe put marriage back on the table and the reason will certainly be because you love each other. Nothing wrong with being casual. Just don't marry him.

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    • You’re the only one so far who wasn’t so judgmental so thank you. I can’t believe the other answers, they’re so judgmental

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What Girls & Guys Said

11
  • He is more than likely using you, they will do any thing to get in this country. He has a family in El Salvador. If you are that attractive why are you messing with a foreign man who works in a Restaurant? He is moving too fast, his next step will be to get his wife and child here, he might tell you she is his cousin. I was used by my ex-sister in law to get her sister here my ex-wife, she had her husbands family married to members of her family to get them here. His mother was married to his wife's uncle and had a wife in Colombia. His cousins were married to her cousins. The people in those countries are picking shit with the chickens and are trying to leave. They are pieces of shit and will do any thing to get here.

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    • His wife is American and lives here with the son who he has shared custody with

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    • That’s why you are staying anon old bastard you don’t got the balls to show the online community your profile because you know your a sack of sh*t.

    • @TopCA Fuck You

  • Salvadorian men tend to be players. I would advise you to stay away.

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