Need opinions from everyone?

So, I've known my boyfriend for 8 years, we've been dating for 3 years and renting an apartment together for 2 years. (I'm 24 and he's 26).

A few months ago, I asked if he sees us getting a house in the future. We sometimes talk about what we want in a house (garage, back yard, etc.). He said we can talk about it more once I'm able to pay off my car.

I came into a little bit of money where I'll be able to pay off my car within the next three months. I told my boyfriend that today, and he goes "oh, money for vacation!" Okay yeah, that's fine, but paying off my car is first priority. What about saving money for a house now? I didn't have it in me to say that.

I also don't want to get a mortgage with just a boyfriend. That's a huge commitment. I don't want to commit to a house until he's ready to commit to me with at least an engagement.

How do I revisit this conversation? I actually want to make a goal with him or some kind of plan to move forward now, since paying off my car is actually happening.

Guys, how do you feel about this? Girls, have you ever been in the same situation? What did you say? Any kind of opinion/advice from anyone would be very much appreciated! We're going on a road trip tomorrow, so I feel like it would be the perfect opportunity to talk.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Would suggest to have a serious talk with your boyfriend about the whole financial thing. Because it is sensitive thing and not managed well could lead into disaster. Not trying to scare but just putting the reality

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    • I used to work at a bank, so I've heard a fair amount of horror stories. I agree with you, although I know almost everything about his finances since we've been renting together for 2 years now. I'm just more worried because I'm a straight forward person. I just don't want to be like..."so can we save for a house now or what" haha. There's definitely better ways to bring it up.

    • Ahh in that case I think only you know the best way because you know him very well. Try to relax him down and then raise the point saying need to discuss relationship to our finances. I'm sure he'll understand like, from what you have said it should be fine

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What Girls & Guys Said

03
  • Tell your boyfriend that it would be easier on both of you financially if you paid off the car before having a vacation.

    After that, ask your boyfriend if he ever wants to get married, and if you feel the need to, then ask your boyfriend to marry you. I know it happens more often that then man asks the woman but it doesn't always have to happen that way, after all we do live in a very socially admissible society. Just make sure that you've discussed marriage with him before you decide to commit.

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  • “Ok my car is paid off now what about us talking about a house like you said?”

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  • Marry him

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    • Easier said than done haha. He's the man, so he needs to take the first steps to make that happen. I'm not sure how to bring that up though.

      Is it normal for girls to be a little pushy with these things?

    • Ask him what he feels about marriage_life partner

    • I already know he wants to get married. He'll sometimes say "when we get married..." it's just getting him there.

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