Upcoming date-she flaked, any advice for next time?

So was supposed to be going out with a girl this week, messaged her to ask how her day had been, she then throws out of nowhere "I won't be able to do this week as I just remembered I'm getting my nails done" even though we'd agreed on a time and place etc

IMHO it seems like a lame excuse. What would any of you advise to handle situations like this/avoid them?



Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree with you that it's a lame excuse. For some reason, she apparently changed her mind about wanting to go out with you.

    My opinion is that you should forget about her. Since she probably lied about why she was not going out with you and didn't add a "but I'd like to go out with you another time" it really seems that she's not interested.

    I once was interested in a woman that seemed not interested in me for anything more than friends. I kept pursuing her though and eventually we started dating and later got married. A while into the marriage though she reverted back to being uninterested in a relationship with me and just wanting to be alone and we ended up getting divorced. I think the lesson I took from that is that if there's not mutual interest, you're better off moving on. You might be able to win her over in the short term, but if she's not really attracted to you, it's not going to work out in the long run.

    As for how to avoid having that happen again, I don't know that there's any foolproof method. How much did you know her before arranging this date? If you'd just met and didn't really know her, it's possible that she accepted just because she felt uncomfortable saying no, but didn't really want to do it and that's why she cancelled later. If that's the situation, then you could wait until you're sure she's showing some signs in interested before asking her out to avoid a repeat of this.

    But if you've known her for a little while and had conversations with her and she seems interested in you, then I don't know what you can do other than accept that sometimes this happens.

    I had one case where that happened to me because after we'd arranged the date, she made up with her ex and then she called me to cancel just a couple hours before the date. Stuff like that happens and about all you can do is shake your head and accept that this isn't the person you should be with.


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