How to deal with depression?

I have depression and I handle & live with it, alone. I was born with autism, but different autism. I got bullied at school every day, I was in hospital 🏥 one day because of that, I didn't have real friends. Everyone was fake to me, even nowadays everyone ignore me and doesn't care about me. No one helps me. I only have my family, well only have my mother because my sister & father doesn't understand me at all and my problems. My sister hits me, sometimes bullies me, and tellin' me a 100 times that she wish I would kill myself and go.
I had suicidal thoughts 💭 but I think God makes me on purpose, afraid of death which makes me not do that.
I don't want friends, or some group to hang out with, I want 1 real girl that well love me for real, and well love me like who I am, and support me and be part of my heart, but unfortunately I.. I don't get it, prog probably I don't deserve it...
Updates:
UPDATE:
My sister also sometimes starves me that I need to beg my mom on the phone.

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  • You keep on working towards the light

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  • By praying and working out

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