How long should I wait for another date?

I've been on 3 dates with a guy which were amazing. He's always really touchy and feeling and he's paid for every date. He's talked about doing other things together too and said he wants to go away on a weekend trip with me.

On our last date he said he would text me about meeting up again when I left. We were just texting generally yesterday and I told him I can meet up with him on his day off if he's free but he said he had plans already for that day. He then said he might see me on another day. I sent him a text saying 'let me know' last night but he hasn't texted me since.

Its also been a couple of days since our last date. He usually brings up meeting up quite early on. He asked me for a second date at the end of our first. He asked me for a third date as soon as I was back from work abroad.

I dont want to bring it up again because I already have and I've left the ball in his court. Should I wait or is he unsure about seeing me again?

Updates:
He texted me back 2 days later- we’ve been talking about general things and he sent me a shirtless picture of him. He still hasn’t asked me out again yet.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He's fence sitting. He's also a guy. He could have other obligations. ? Kids? Family? Parents? Needy brothers or sisters?
    But you only went on 3 dates?
    Did you hook up? You say he's touchy feely.. He's obviously in tune with his sensitive side. Are you exclusive? Have you previously talked about dating others? What kind of connection do you have? I don't have all nessicary information needed.
    Tell him you are looking for a man to call your own. If that's to forward. Mention your planning to go on a singles weekend.
    In life i have found that addressing something honestly and head on is the best way to get answers . Ask for a clear yes or no..

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Nope we’re both young and single and he lives alone. No we didn’t hook up, we haven’t slept together yet. We haven’t had the talk about being exclusive yet. I was thinking of asking him about what he thinks on the next date.
      I’ve been asked out on a date this Saturday from another guy which I was going to put on hold cause I really like this guy but I feel like I should go now. Should I mention it to him?

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    • The going out to a singles club is a good idea ^^

    • Good for you. Don't sell your self short , life is short... too short. We. only grow from experience , that means good choices and bad choices. There all building blocks. Go have fun

Most Helpful Girl

  • Girl, I’ve been in the SAME exact situation! I was reading the comments and I saw you haven’t hooked up or anything so that’s good. But the reason a guy stopped asking me out after the third date was because I didn’t hook up with him. Do you think that’s a possibility? I say totally go out with that other guy though, you’re single! If this guy isn’t gonna ask you out then whatcha waiting for! Give the other guy a chance. Maybe even post a picture w him (; nothing will make that other guy chase you harder than if he sees you out with other guys! or say you’re going out to a club with some friends, like that other guy mentioned, that always works too!

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    • I mean he could always be insecure and just think you’re too good for him or who knows? Maybe he’s not for sure if you like him? Definitely DO NOT text him again. You said “let me know” it’s his TURN! I literally just told a guy as well to let me know when he wants to go out and he hasn’t said anything so I’m just waiting.

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    • I’m surprised because he knew from before we went on the third date that I wasn’t going to go back home with him. He asked me to stay over but I made it clear I wouldn’t be able to. He also told me to take his jacket on our third date and that I could give it back to him when we see each other next but I didn’t take it cause of my strict parents. In our last conversation he also said he’d take a day off just to spend time with me. I’ve made it really clear I was into him, we’ve kissed before and we always hold hands. He even made me take pictures with him on our last date together. I don’t know why guys do a total 180 after.
      He doesn’t use social media but if he asks I’ll say something along the lines of I’m going out for drinks with a guy from work.
      You should go out and enjoy yourself too! Who knows, maybe you’ll end up liking the other guy you’re seeing more!

    • Hmm that’s super weird! I watched this video from this relationship coach and it was like “what guys are thinking when they ignore you” and the answer is NOTHING because they are not thinking about you! And that it’s hard to mess up the RIGHT thing! I mean yes he could be busy but that’s also very weird he wouldn’t at least text you to see how you’re doing! But yes that’s a good idea! And thank you!! The guy canceled on me because he’s sick apparently lol. I don't know, we will see haha.

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What Guys Said 42

  • Don't smother the guy.. let him catch his breath a bit. He might want to hang out with his best buds or get back onto his normal routine. Just wait.

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  • If you sent a text last night and he hasn't gotten back to you within 24 hours, just let it breath. He does have his own life : D

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    • It's his own fault in a lot of ways, because how he acts now sets an expectation for how you expect him to act in the future. But just understand, he's not always going to ask you out on another date at the end of the next date. It's just not going to happen. Maybe he had extra free time in his schedule, really wanted to see you and decided to ask in that moment. Then the last time he knew he had other plans so he didn't. It's all good.

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    • I sent the message on Tuesday night it’s now Thursday morning

    • That's true within reason. If you look at how much you like or want something as a spectrum. Yes, if he likes you ENOUGH he will go out of his way to make time and give up things like sleep. But that's also assuming things like his character. Is he the type of man that takes his work seriously and won't make certain sacrifices for a girl he's just getting to know? I'm not sure.

      But it's damaging to get into the thought process of "if he REALLY" liked me he would do x. It's the same in a relationship when a girl thinks "if he REALLY" loves me he will do x thing. It's not that black and white, on or off. He can like you AND not go way out of his way to see you. I've been lazy in the past about making plans with a girl I really liked, because 1. I had my own life and shit going on. 2. I looked at it as I have all the time in the world. We're both single and I'll see her again soon. No need to rush to schedule a date right away.

  • I'm assuming the dates are of a romantic nature?

    At the risk of sounding distasteful - 3 dates and nothing has happened yet? He's paying for everything, taking initiative, making all the moves and you just sit there.
    Not saying you're in his debt, but if the feelings are mutual maybe it's your turn to put in some work.

    I get the impression that he's bending over backwards to make things happen and you're just sitting there enjoying the ride.
    From what I can gather I personally wouldn't ask you out again.

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    • They’ve only had three dates, it’s not like they are officially dating. Guys are supposed to pay when just starting out dating, it’s still new. If he can’t afford it that’s understandable but also something he should communicate with her.

    • He knew I wasn’t going to go back with him from the start of our third date, I made it clear. I actually planned the third date, we had dinner at a place I chose. And I asked first if he wanted to meet up on his day off for him. It’s not like nothings happened between us, we do kiss and hold hands and hug all the time.

    • Then just be patient, and don't stress, keep it fun :)

  • It always makes me cringe when a woman says "he paid for everything" as a quality for a man.

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    • Only because I don’t expect guys to always pay. I’m a person who doesn’t mind halving it but he always insists.

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    • That's your problem.

    • Did I ever say it was not? You could start by minding your own business, lady 😘

  • i think you can bring it up. perhaps he's got a busier schedule preventing him from making a concrete plan. so you could just casually say, "so let's hang out. when are you free?"

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  • I'd say you could discuss the next date but stick to planning it and take a short break for the literal going on a date. Just to see the communication side of the relationship.

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    • I have already- I bought up this Netflix show and asked if we could go to his place. He said he’ll try and work something out cause the owner of the house he’s renting is a bit strict. He then said he needs to try and take a whole Saturday off so we can hang out. I told him that I technically have a day off on the day he’s free. He asked if I had the whole week off and I said yh. Then he said he’s got plans on his day off but he might try and grab me another day. And then I said okay let me know and that was it.

    • Cool good your taking it slow it seems good luck and I think your definitely a +1 in the keeper catagory as your one of the only girls on this site who seems to be taking things smart and slowly. Good luck miss

  • Whatever it is don't play the waiting game.

    pics.me.me/...ee-whos-gonna-stop-being-5710176.png

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  • I think in any new relationship things are weird and awkard, as neither wants to appear too needy or overzealous, or turn someone they like off.
    It would not hurt if you called or texted to say hey whats up, or how are you, to let him know your giving him a thought, as he might be wondering the same thing.
    Don't bring up the trip or anything... Wait for him to bring it up... Just keep the conversation chill.
    If he is interested in you he will make the next move, but help him out some by showing interest... The rest will either be reciprocated or not... If not, then you have your answer.

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  • Maybe his ass is broke from paying all of them and it just dawned on him.

    But no, give it some time. Some things may have come up.

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  • Even if you're both busy until an opportunity comes up to go out again, dont just hold off on texting completely. But do give him some slack. Maybe try to hint at your interest in being exclusive.

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  • He is waiting for you to text, obviously...

    If you say :
    I sent him a text saying 'let me know'

    You are saying to take charge because you are busy and need to get the calendar empty, so He is waiting for you...

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  • It sounds to me like he's awaiting an opportunity. He has nothing to report to you, yet, so he can't "Let you know." Three days is totally acceptable.
    After that, you might send him a message in some form or another, either with a suggestion or just a reminder that he's on your mind.

    More than a week, and he's probably not worth it. But it doesn't sound like you'll have to wait that long.

    Be wary of the hands, too. Make sure you explore each other, intellectually and emotionally. Rushing into things with someone you neglected to get to know can be a doozy.

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    • It’s been 3 days today... I guess I’ll wait to see if he comes back to me by the end of the week with anything cause we were only talking about it yesterday.

  • Honestly I've never had anyone ghost me in real life. I always tell the woman I had a good time and would like to see you again. That way there is no confusion, I want to continue thongs.

    I would give it four days tops, then ask him to go somewhere with you. It's 2018 for god's sakes women can ask a man.
    If he makes excuses or doesn't seem interested move on. If he does seem interested he may just be busy. The fact that he wants a weekend trip sounds like he is into you. I think maybe trying to go back to his place was the wrong move. I don't know what his situation is there. You could have him over to your place, maybe even cook, it can be romantic. Also if your city has a makeout point, I think that is a good idea.

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  • He probably realised he paid for everything and feels you're using him so decided to date someone else who respects him more.

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    • OMG.. way off, dude. xx

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    • I don’t know about that... if he didn’t want to lose me why wouldn’t he try and set up another date. I think he’s seeing other people too.

    • It's only been couple of days. Calm down, people have busy lives.

  • Already after 3 dates on a weekend trip, thats not for everyone. He clearly is into you, there is no doubt

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    • I don’t know haha I’ve been told to never fall for what a guy says- he may say he wants to go on a weekend trip with me but if he doesn’t show any action it’s just words in the end.

    • Its hard to tell for me if he really is into you. But you usually see it in his behaviour.

  • That's a tough one. I'd give it a week and if you still haven't heard from him, move on.

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  • Hmmm. I say just wait a couple of more days to hear from him. If you don't hear anything just call or shoot another text and most importantly don't put out under any circumstances preferably till marriage if you can... VERY IMPORTANT (trust me on that). If you go out with the other guy, just be honest with him if you're still stuck on the first guy. He'll respect you for your honesty and that will show him the exact type of woman you are. If he does call you back and you guys go back out be honest and let him know how feel then just gauge his actions and act accordingly. When a man wants you for you, he'll make it known. Remember that.

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  • on 3rd date you should of asked do you want another date now you have to ask him an say did yoloose intrest

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    • When I was getting out of the taxi when I was leaving he said that he’ll text me about meeting up again.

    • well your going to have to tex him if its been more than 3 days guys think its a rule never to get back to a girl for 3days due to the fact they dont want to be pushy

  • Ugh! The description feels so.. Anyway, perhaps he could take you to Paris!

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  • he is probably busy and it says like he wants another date

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What Girls Said 15

  • Wait to Hear from Him for a Potential Date. He could get a Vibe that you are being too Needy. Guys sense this.
    If you do Not Hear from Him, Move on. You will Know then that Joe... Is Not interested.
    Fingers Crossed.
    PS. If He doesn't Hear from you, He may then Find you a Chase and a Challenge and Be missing that Kissing. xxoo

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  • Just wait. It'll take him a few days to plan the trip if he's taking the initiative. If he's more than a week with no communication then that is bad.

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  • Going through same situation
    If u really like this guy wait for same time... like a week
    If there's no response u should forget
    U should send a simple text or it will be like u didn't text me and I was busy..

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    • He did reply to my texts today. He still hasn’t asked about meeting up though.

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    • That’s what I’ve been doing. I’m not asking at all unless he does.

    • Great

  • Just sit back and be paitent. He will come around.

    If not, then phooey on him, who’s next in line? 😉

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  • If he's interested, he will follow up
    Trust me
    I had experiences

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  • You shouldn't wait you should try to get one as fast as possible.

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  • If he's interested, he will ask you out since you initiated some moves.

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  • I always wait 2-3 days for the guy to really want to meet :)

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  • Wait. Worse thing you can do is look desperate.

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  • Lets keep the texts shorter peopleee

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  • 1 week

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  • Wait

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  • No wait just go and ask whome you found attractive

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  • You sholud wait for some time for him to text you. From reading about your relathionship now with him, he likes you. I think that he really isn't free and has a lot of thing to do with his work. So yea, wait for him and your next date. I wish you good luck!😄

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  • Wait till you get over

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