Guys - do you just automatically assume?

If a girl (who's a friend, but you're not super close yet) says that she wants to hang out with you one-on-one, or go out for breakfast, do you automatically assume that she's interested/that it's like a date? Meanwhile, the girl is asking to hang out with you, not get married! But sometimes my friends and I feel like it's a much bigger deal to the guys than it is to us. Just curious to get some different perspectives on why this might be...


Most Helpful Guy

  • what master kermit said, but yea from deep down I whould see it as the girl being interested in me


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What Guys Said 4

  • Even though those are not your intentions, asking a guy out and it being the first "move", he will assume that you are interested, if it's a one on one.

    The only time I don't take it as "a date" is if she is going through a tough time or something. For instance, this girl at my work(only talked to her at work but not on a regular basis) had some personal issues that she brought up to me and she asked me if I wanted to go out for dinner (lunch dates are usually on friendly terms, and harmless, just an FYI) I agreed to go out for dinner and asked her if she had anywhere specific she wanted to go. She said, "anywhere, I just don't want to be alone and could use an impartial friend right now". So in that case, I didn't take it as she was interested, how could I, right?

  • if it's the first time, or she's never explicitly told me she's not interested, then yes

  • I would take it as she maybe interested and just wanting to get to know me better as an individual and just play it by ear and see where it goes. I wouldn't be the type of guy planning my whole life with her if she just asked me out the first time.

  • I don't assume anything. I also don't expect anything since that just leads to disappointment.


What Girls Said 1

  • NOT A GUY - but this made me laugh & I can totally relate =))

    YEA , in my experience, talk to a guy guy thinks she wants me. ask a guy to see a movie as a friend-guy thinks she wants to date me. ask a guy to go out, *once*- guy thinks she wants to marry me. Kiss a guy - guy thinks you want his babies. IN MY EXPERIENCE. its common. Not every guy & luckily not my friends but yea, mix a few ingredients together voila! Presumption- ego cakes.

    Its funny guys worry so much about what girls will assume that they end up being way more presumptuous than they were worried in the first, place. Personally I don't think they are so worried. I think they just like to complain because every time they complain they are reminded that some chick 'wants' them, at last deluded anyway. I say this because guys will go to great lengths to AVOID being straight forward when they are so called 'worried' she'll get the wrong idea but think nothing of gossiping about it freely. Anyone who really wanted things to be clear- and was not a MORON- would simply say hey I'm not interested so I might be totally imagining you want me because I'm high on myself, but in the event I'm right- not interested. Or at least they would ask if the girl thought something was up & explain they did not want to get involved.

    OH WHAT EVER. 'Guys don't like to talk about how they feel'. Well, they have no problem when they complain about it to other people. & We KNOW they do because everyone always says don't do this or don't do that or you'll look desperate. Maybe you should just stop thinking about people in terms of your ego & speak up. If everyone was CLEAR it wouldn't matter what misconception anyone had because they would know the truth. Anyone who isn't just hungry for attention, would be straight up with whoever they thought might like them- if they did not like them in return.

    Seriously, that - 'cant talk about how I feel' -stops working after third grade. If you can complain, you can speak. If you can speak- you can speak the person it pertains to. If you can speak to that person & you are not 6 years old can do so clearly. (and that might even be an insult to 6 year olds.)

    Stop whining & Grow up!

    Girls do this too and its just as obnoxious if not more so because you're supposed to be more mature and set a good example for people who - ostensibly- were raised to not be removed from how they felt.

    • HAHAHA! Yes! I completely agree... SO PRESUMPTUOUS! Get over yourselves... And if you have a legitimate reason to believe that she IS interested, then let her know how you feel, instead of just messing around. But don't assume that every girl who talks to you, wants to date you. Sorry, but it's just NOT the case! Sometimes it's just nice to have guy friends :)

    • Show All
    • lol oh no I didt mean yu, I meant like from a guy or someone woh just wanted to be mad. Yea its frustrating. I'm really outgoing & get a long with people pretty well, plus I grew up with guys. I'm totally used to talking to them like they are -whats the word -people! tbh don't see much difference except for one or two obvious ones:)

      I think some G want to be treated different- to prover they are men & desired and more powerful. I'm content being treated like a person. I treat people with respect-

    • as people, not in difference to their genitalia.

      Things would be far simpler over all, if people had the patience & insight to discover the differences- that DO certainly exist - between *people* , not per body part.

      Heres to wishing that day comes lol