Will you please help me get a date?

I'm 21, and a virgin. A straight-up all around virgin.

and I have (what I consider) a horrible dating rap. I've met a couple guys offline once, the first date went horribly (I was 17 and desperate... I cringe just thinking about it.) and I never saw him again. The second guy was GROSS, I never saw him again. The third guy I met through my friend, and he ended up being bisexual gun-toting drunk (not kidding.). My last boyfriend I was friends with (kind of) first before dating, but he was bisexual too and even though we had a lot in common well... I was too uncomfortable with that to take the relationship seriously. It lasted a week... so I don't really count it. I got kissed at 15... that's 6 years ago... I don't really count that either... it was a truth or dare. I mean really... WTF people.

Needless to say I've nearly given up. I'm stubborn and I'd like the guy to approach me first, but I never get approached. If a guy IS flirting with me, I don't notice it's flirting. I assume he's just being nice and doesn't want me flirting with him or anything like that.

I'm not one of those girls who's sloppy, either. I'm plus size (size 18) BUT seriously? It's not like I don't care about that. I put effort into my appearance, do my hair, make-up... outfits. I have friends, I know a couple guys and I like one of them but I just feel like he's so much cuter than me, and I get so quiet and awkward around him.

I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for. Oh wait, I know... advice that WORKS. Please help me get a date, THANK YOU!

I stopped chasing the guys because they weren't ever interested back. Those who were, I wasn't. When I DID chase someone, it took forever so I thought that meant they weren't interested in me thus 1) I should move on, and 2) I should let guys come to me.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Hey, there were people who were interested in you. Your case is not as bad as it looks.



    If that really is size 18, then you really aren't the most physically ideal person in the world. The size 0 girl next to her is just as hideous, though.

    Anyways, the fact is, beggars can't be picky! As long as there is anything interested in you and you can look at least mildly attractive, you'll be fine, as there are always some people who have no problem with a girl being overweight. However, my personal advice is - lose the goddamn makeup. The only people who look attractive with mascara and sh-- like that is those who are already stunningly beautiful without it. For others.. it just makes it worse.

    • Uh hello, I briefly dated two bisexuals... I don't think I'm picky. I didn't come on here and say "Why doesn't the Timberlake look-a-like want to date me?" I just want to get a date with a normal person.

    • No humans are normal.

  • "I'm stubborn and I'd like the guy to approach me first".

    There you have your problem.

    • Whenever I HAVE approached a guy, I got turned down. Nearly every single time.

    • Well, that's the risk of approaching them. And its the same risk they take whenever they approach a girl.

      But indulge my curiosity, what exactly did you do when you approached them?

    • I texted him (he was a friend of a friend, god forbid I get rejected by someone I don't know... yes, I'm aware I need to change my thinking.) and asked him to come to a mutual friend's New Year's Eve plans (dinner, going down to watch the event whatever) and he said "No, it's too cold." So I was playful and cute about it, and suggested he bring a jacket and his friend (in case he was uncomfortable with me only asking him) and he still said no.

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