He slept with me and a week later he was gone - what does this mean?

So, I met this guy(30 and Caucasian) online that happened to be 10 years older than I am and the opposite ethnicity that I only dated him in a 3 month period. We began going out on dates and he wanted to see more of me than the typical once a week. He said that I need to free up some time in my schedule or change it. I accepted the idea of freeing up some time in my schedule and made an effort to see him three times a week while juggling school, work, and extracurricular activities. Eventually, there were things about him that I found disturbing so I refrained from seeing him for TWO WEEKS but remained in contact via text. For example, when I asked him where does he see "this" going as in relationship, he just explained how much he sees me and I'm the only girl that he is talking to but he never said a committed relationship. After the second week, he texted me and said it wasn't working out. I explained to him how I have I have been having two bad weeks and a little about how I can not tell what he sees me as and he wanted to continue to talk to me after that. About a week later I slept with him which only lasted 5 minutes. Three days later, I spent the night over his place and slept with him the second time, which increases in time by 20 minutes( a little better) and everything was perfectly fine. He dropped me off at home the next day. It was getting later on in my semester and school began get stressful. I had not seen him for 4 days and he wanted me to come over.. I declined and said I was in a funk... the next I said I would go over to his place but I wanted to go to the movies before..it was 9pm and he said it was too late for a movie .. so one of my girlfriends asked me to go to the movies and I told him I was going to go with her... May I say that I had went to school and work that day and still wanted to go to the movies... I asked him could I see him the next day and he said he was going to be busy for the next three days(spending time with his best friend and etc) ... the next day we texted and he got disrespectful by saying things to me that I would usually not agree with(like cumming in my face). and I joked playfully back as if it did not bother me. The following day he did not text me and I had texted him to see what he was doing and he was doing nothing but playing with his dog... I felt like he was trying to teach me some sort of lesson... the following day I texted him to see was everything "ok" and if I was going to see him, and he did not reply... I called and left a voicemail and he did not return my phone call.. It has been a month and when I do call him he does not pick up... and I know everything is OK because he just posted his profile back onto the online dating site. smh Was I a fool and what does this mean? Was I just fun for the older guy? He had spoke of me meeting his parents, did that mean nething I want to forget this and move on? How do I go about it because I don't want to seem like a crazy girl?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Things like agreeing to go over someones house and then deciding to go the movies with your friends can be a turn off. How would you feel if he had done that to you? Disappearing for two weeks probably made him rethink the relationship. (He did text you and say things were not working out). A week after he told you things were not working out you slept with him. It sounds like he got tired of playing games and wanted something else. A bit of advice with school - as long as you do not procrastinate you should have more time on your hands. When you leave your homework for the last moment it always feels like you have no time on your hands.

    • I looked at it this way also and I thought about it once it was too late. I would not like it... but the thing that gets me is that I apologized even though I didn't know what it was at the time via text and voicemail... and asked him to talk to me and explain what was really going on and how I missed him.. he just ignored me completely... I could never be that cruel to someone. Do you think he will ever call me in life? Is it wrong for me to want him to call even though it has been a month?

    • There is nothing wrong with you wanting him to call. You slept with him and your feeling grew from there. I am the same way. I am also very careful about who I sleep with. Maybe if you do not contact him anymore, he MIGHT call. The more you contact him at this point, the further away you will push him. If I had to be honest with you, I would say there is maybe a 10% chance he will call you at this point. Getting some distance between you two will increase those odds.

What Girls Said 1

  • I am going on conjecture here but it sounds like the age was a factor possibly and him as a person. Do you know if he ever went to college? If he didn't, then he might not have been well versed with how busy and hectic college life is. It's different when you are older, go to work and then have free time afterward. If he did attend college then it seems like he has had a memory lapse of what college life is like. In addition, he just doesn't seem very respectful in general and it seems like everything should revolve around him. You weren't dating that long and he already was showing signs of that? Thank God you got out now because it probably would have gotten worse.

    I think you did everything you could have to make it work and be the respectful, mindful one. I think the issues were on his end. I would suggest you move on and forget him. You clearly deserve better.

    Be well.

    • Yes, he attended a prestigious college but did not graduate.

      I'm going to have to agree with everything you said. I just can't believe how messed up guys can be. smh

    • I agree but they will say the same about our gender. Just remember he doesn't represent guys on the whole. He represents the douche bag he is.