What is his problem??

I'm just so confused and a bit pissed off to be honest. I met this guy and we talked for months before going out. The first date went fine, it was over coffee and we just talked. When we left, he asked me out again for a second date, I agreed.

Then of course he canceled the second date without really giving any notice and no reasonable excuse. But I like this guy so I decided to accept his excuse as real and not made up. We continued to talk and of course he asked me out again. And guess what? The day of, he canceled again saying we'll do it again at a later date. But I'm not going to fall for it this time around.

I just don't understand why he would keep asking me out only to cancel each and every time and texting me inbetween. If he wasn't interested, as he obviously isn't, then why lead me on by bringing up additional dates? what's the point in that?


Most Helpful Girl

  • He is a jerk. This is when you need to realize those "red" flags and let it go. Have dignity and self-respect. Let the looser go.

    • most definitely. I had enough of him. I think I gave him plenty of chances

    • Wise decision. You won't regret it. More fish in the sea but when you go fishing, be sure to throw back what is not good for you. Before you can love anyone else, love you first.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I have 3 possible reasons as to why he's doing this:

    1) He is dating other girls at the same time and is just playing the field. You are just one of his options. He is into you but not as into you as he is into other girls. Hence, he may keep cancelling because he found a better option for a date (sorry, not trying to hurt your feelings or anything there)

    2) He's into you and just wants to keep testing you and keep you even more interested. The fact that he keeps cancelling is a way of trying to keep you on your toes and possibly wants you to chase after him.

    3) He has lost interest and is trying to let you down gently. He hopes you will get the message by cancelling all the time and is probably hoping you will forget about him.

    • 1. He might be dating other girls, but he wasn't at the time of the date because he was online. It seems like he rather stay at home then be with me

      2. Possible, but it backfired. It might have worked the first time he canceled, but not the second time. I'm tired of it, which I think is understandable on my part

      3. Then why does he keep texting me and making more dates when he has no intention of keeping them?

    • Show All
    • aww to the second reason. probably not even close to being true, but it makes me feel better

    • Looks like my plan worked then :)

      My point is. Nobody should feel like they are inferior in anyway whatsoever and nobody should ever feel like they are not good enough for anyone (if I told myself this every time I wanted to ask a girl out maybe I wouldn't have chickened out in the first place lol).

      Don't worry about it, I'm sure you have plenty of guys who want to be with you. Some of us really do have to be patient before we succeed. Good Luck :

  • There are 2 reasons I can think of and you will know which is true more than me.

    1) He does want to go out with you but his friends/family are his priority. If he is going out with mates just ask if he would introduce you to them, and make it clear to him you don't expect him to spend the entire evening trying to impress you. The bridge you may have to cross is going out with friends is fun because you don;t have to go out of the way to impress them whereas been on a date or an interview is not as much fun because you do at first.

    2) He is dating other girl(s). I don;t think I need to advise on the best solution if that's the case

    • Thank you for answering. But I know he's not out with friends or other girls right now since he's logged on on AIM. So he would rather sit at home in front of his computer than go out with me. Which makes me more confused.

    • I guess he must have a very low self esteem then and not want to risk failing, although by doing this he may have already done so. If you do still want to go out try aranging an informal social gathering with you and a few other people and suggest he invites a friend too that way he will be less likely chicken out.

    • thank you for the suggestion, but I'm done with him.

  • i think its not your fault. I will tell you one thing,

    1st thing what I thing is :

    boys while talking to friends they tell almost all things in their heart to share may be he have told about your love and character to his friend so that they may fell good now. to get ride from them he may act like he is horrible with you. so that their friends can think you are little bit bad and can get ride from you.

    2nd ly:

    he don't want you to be talking to any of the boys around you weather you are friend with him or not.

    3rd ly:

    i advice you to get ride of this type of person, because they would like only fun and money am telling this as a friend and some stories which I come across here in my place.


What Girls Said 5

  • I don't know what this guys problem is but I've had that happen to me before...he could very well just be busy but it seems kinda fishy to me. Guys can be really shady like that. I think you should just move on to the next guy and don't waste your time. Make it seem that you don't care cause once he sees that you do he'll be like oh she's clingy or something and you don't want that.

    • I'm definitely moving on. I'm planning on deleting him from everything but it still sucks because I liked this guy.

    • I know how you feel but just be strong about it. Trust me there are so many other guys out there that are worth it :) keep smiling

  • sounds just like this guy I see.. I chatted with him for 6 weeks before we met. now that we have met I barely see him and I'm having the hardest time letting him go (I don't deserve to be treated like this, neither do you.. it makes me feel like I'm disposable) cause I really fell for him and I thought we had a strong connection.. he uses work as his excuse! so I complety understand where you are coming from.. stay stong!

  • men are too dumb and wouldn't know a good thing if it hit them in the face.

  • He is not that into you. Go for someone else. He is not worth it. You deserve better.

  • he's a retard!