What is one thing you don’t understand about the opposite gender?

What is one thing you don’t understand about the opposite gender?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Why do women automatically assume men who give them any sort of attention are into them? This has happened to me before. A woman thought I liked her, even though I did not. I looked at her... once maybe? In a very normal way, like you would unless you were purposely trying to avoid it.

    Not every guy wants you, just like not every girl wants every guy. I get nervous because of SA, not because I like you. Extremely awkward when I get the sense a girl thinks I like her... what do I even say? Especially if I do not like her.

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  • I have a few main ones.

    1. Why can't women be the ones to say that they're interested, especially when they know a guy isn't someone who goes out heaps & can easily pick up on those subtle, yet sometimes irrelevant cues.

    2. Why do you think we can read your mind when you say one thing, but mean the COMPLETE other, or something completely different?

    3. Why do you assume any interaction HAS to lead to a serious relationship from the get go? Is there no "friend" or "casual stage" before that?

    4. Why do we have all these texting rules - etc, not texting too fast, having to wait a day or even a week to show you're not desperate, blah blah.

    5. Not all guys are just confident, even just pretending is really hard for some people (myself included) - so why does confidence pretty much make or break an approach, when most women would agree that they'd get nervous too? (Put yourself in our shoes for a majority of the time - instead of having an objective reason like that to define a mans worth from an initial contact).

    6. Why do you give fake numbers? It's going to hurt a guy more when he texts and it's a random number, than you just saying "no thanks" or whatever you say in the moment.

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    • I agree with most of these.

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    • Study some evolutionary biology. A women looks for a husband who will be a caregiver and a protector. A man who is not sure about himself and his ability might not be there when danger comes and threatens her safety and children.

    • Women do not choose what they're attracted to

Most Helpful Girls

  • Why are they so obssesed with their dick size. If they really cared about girl's pleasure they would be more concerned about their oral sex, kissing and massaging skills, but they are not even at slightest comparing to how much they worry about dick size

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    • Some, like me, have posted that dick size is irrelevant, and a guy that cares, and knows, can figure, or has enough experience to know how to give her amazing joy, without a penis, or chance or pregnancy!

  • I've never understood and I think I never will, but how do guys separate feelings from sex? I know some girls do it too, but to me that's just bizarre. I would have to feel both to get involved with someone, not just feelings or just sexual attraction.

    Something that I'll never understand either is how they cover up when their friends are cheating or lying to their girlfriends. How can you be comfortable with yourself knowing that you could have saved someone the heartache and pain but decided not to? That bros before hoes thing is just stupid. Also taken very out of context, sometimes it does make sense. But other times it's just stupid and childish.

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    • 1. because supposedly, and this is just an educated guess is that men were meant to breed, only, to get as many of their "dna" out there in the world.. sort of a "survival of the fittest and noone gets out alive, in the concrete jungle it's the will of the damned", sort of thing but, again, that's only an educated guess

      2. well, there's a debate out there, that goes on basically saying "should you get involved in other peoples relationships/affairs/problems". I personally think that if a friend was cheating or was being cheated on, i should tell them, but, someone else may come along and say, no don't do that, it's none of your business

      so, really, it's all about morals for the both of those questions. it's what you feel is the RIGHT THING TO DO

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    • @Proz11 Dude, I wouldn't be hetero if I didn't like dick. You should seriously stop telling me if I like anything or everything inherently male. Because I do and you're simply annoying me right now. What I was trying to say is that I as a responsible adult like to employ a little self control and not jump the bones of any and every guy my brain tells me to fuck because I find him attractive. So sad that your half neuron wasn't enough to figure that out on your own. Anyway I do like everything inherently male and I truly don't know how I would be straight but find the male physique otherwise unattractive. Because it really makes no sense.

    • So the male body alone makes you desire to sleep with a guy, but the potential consequences make you stop?

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What Guys Said 78

  • Why they find certain things attractive in a guy.

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  • Why women seem to be so taken aback when a guy does not want to be "just friends."

    I understand that most women say they want to be friends to be polite, but why is it so offensive if a man wants something more than a casual acquaintanceship where nothing of meaning or significance is ever shared

    This is not to say that friendships can't be rich or fulfilling, but there is a limit to what can be exchanged between just friends. And no, I'm not just talking about sex.

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  • Why are you so vague? Just come out and say what you mean. I don't like to jump through hoops to figure out what you're saying. Just tell me. I know there's emotions and all that stuff attached, but jeez.

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    • Some men are the same. It’s hedging a bet in some cases.

      In other cases it’s a meet me half the way. Sometimes they’re just ducking with you. Just remember you are always the one in control either way. You might like that person and want to form something but if they aren’t laying enough down on the line just walk away.

      You aren’t missing anything. They’ll be more clear in their intent if they really like you and won’t go away after one failed approach.

    • @sjoes006 That's true, some guys are like that. Actually, I'd say a good number of them are. I'm more focused; if I see someone I want (like my current gf) I'll go the extra mile. I make my intent clear. I don't back off if I like you; I'll chase you through though the moons of Nebula, the stars of Antares, and the Mutara Nebula before I give you up. That's just how I am as a person, but I've been told I'm a unicorn.

  • I think generally speaking, one thing that is so common, that I have a hard to understanding, is why they make assumptions so much, and think about stuff, contemplate things about other people, based on their assumptions when they could easily just go get the answer and facts instead by asking

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  • Why a picture of a fly? LOL

    Just 1 thing? For starters, why the "need" to be subtle and hint all the time and not just be direct. Then wonder why guys don't pick up on it. Maybe because you're being TOO subtle?

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  • Actually, I have a few questions. The answers are not in this book... lol

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  • I don't understand why women don't wear the same dress twice, or the obsession with make-up and stuff like that. Men generally don't give a shit. So why are you all torturing yourselves?

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    • And also...

      WHY CAN'T WOMEN JUST PUT THE TOILET SEAT DOWN THEMSELVES? lol

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    • Learn to put the toilet sit down? What the hell man? It's not like we're untrained puppies? You should simply learn to abide by societal rules. Is it so hard to put it down yourself after you're done? You're simply cleaning up after your self. It's as if a girl were to refuse to deal with her period trash.

    • Not at all the same thing as period trash lol. Toilet seat doesn't have to be down for it to be clean lol

  • 1) When girls get mad at a guy for having an opinion. 2) when girls always get the final say and that's the end of the discussion. 3) when girls try to put all the blame on guys when there is most times, equal responsibility. 4) when girls expect guys to ALWAYS know what the problem is and get mad when the guy can't figure it out, because women can't make up their minds or dont say what's actually on their mind and just say "it's fine"

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  • Honestly, i dont know. Most of my friends are female so more often than not i can gauge what is going on. Sometimes i am able to tell how they are feeling even when they are texting.

    But one thing i dont get is, whats wrong with girls asking guys out?😂

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  • One thing I don't understand about both genders is why they often hate gender roles for themselves but then expect the other gender to act according to their own. For example, many girls don't like the idea of having to stay at home to raise the kids but will still expect guys to make the first move and pay for dates. This goes in the opposite direction also.

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    • Not everybody. I love kids! They are wonderful people and I'll pay my way unless someone treats me. Even then I feel uneasy about it.

  • For both genders is, why do you think the few individuals you have met in your life are representative of the the whole? How can anybody be so naive to think that if one woman was stuck up, then all women are. Or if one man was a sexists pig, then every man is.

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  • I don't understand why this question features the close up of a fly...

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  • Why can't women just say what they mean, and mean what they say? How hard is that? You literally just do, what you already said you were going to do. You don't have to come up with anything new.

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    • We just have to use words that you will understand.

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    • @DakotaNorth It's more like, "How can I manipulate him into doing what I want without actually telling him what I want?"

    • When I do this, act straight forwardly, I often end up being called rude, insensitive and cruel. Guys can't take honesty just like most girls can't in my opinion

  • Why do women think men can read minds?
    -Tell us what you want
    -Tell us what the problem is
    -If we ask something, we expect a straight, honest answer.

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    • I get it. Depending on the situation. My favorite example is a friend who was targeted by a flying cockroach. It was gross and her husband freaks out just like a girl in said situation but when she told him about it he said, “you’re overreacting”.

      “You’re over reacting” is invalidating. This guy is not a bad dude, he’s a great dude that does laundry and whatev.

      This isn’t the only example, but honestly if you wiggle to truth out and we get that response it is a knife to the heart. So we don’t always have to hear it from you because we’ve heard it hundreds of times.

      In various forms of response when we speak our truth this is what we get. Not from every guy but enough. Our feelings get invalidated.

    • @sjoes006
      Ok I get it.

      But what about our feelings?

      Guy: "Hey babe, what's wrong?"
      Girl: "Nothing"
      Guy: "Ok"
      Guy: *goes back to TV*
      Girl: "You don't really care about me"
      Guy: *?*

      Or..

      Guy: "Hey I'm going out with the guys"
      Girl: "Ok have fun"
      Guy: "Ok bye" *kisses*
      *comes home*
      Girl: "How come you don't have time for me anymore?"
      Guy: ?

  • Why they think that hints are enough, especially when hints vary from woman to woman.

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  • It's kind of funny, but I've only met one woman who could read about sociobiology without getting angry. While I understand that no one wants to admit that they are ruled by their biology, I don't get why women especially hate it so much.

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  • Why women are attracted to men that are bad human beings, yet still go for them. Are they just stupid to the obvious signs of him being a subpar human being?

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    • I think they have low self-esteem. Also, these guys are predators and know how to read and prey on the insecurities of the woman. They know what to say to get what they want. Sickening.

  • Why can't girls be straight foward? Just tell us! If we find out you're lying to be nice.. when we find out we hate it! Just tell us to our face whats wrong or if you like us or not. God

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  • For me, I don't understand why women complain about men treating them badly, but then reject nice guys and go for ass holes

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  • Why are there some women (not all) who are trying to be like men? Doing the same jobs and such. I'm not complaining, do what you want. But why?

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    • Some women are sadly confused. Society is telling them to be like men but they don’t want too be like men. They are brainwashed by culture.

    • It is so unfortunate. Why would people do this? Why tell these women how to live? Why can't they just choose whatever makes them happy?

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What Girls Said 44

  • I don't understand when guys choose to get emotionally involved with a woman and when guys choose to pass on a woman who is romantically interested in them cause my guesses are often wrong.

    I also don't understand what type of girls, guys find attractive cause there are girls that I thought were ugly that all the guys thought were good looking and there were girls that I thought were very good looking that none of the guys seemed to like.

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    • right. while some may find megan fox hot af. i find her ugly as hell

      just how it goes. WOMEN ARE THE SAME WAY

      what one woman likes, another may not

      LAWS OF ATTRACTION

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    • @SEuclid I mean I don't understand why a guy will chose to pursue things with one girl and ignore his chance with another girl.

    • he likes the first girl. why should he go with the second one, if he doesn't like her?

  • Why they hit on you and when you reject them they suddenly start calling you fat and ugly.

    I wasn't fat and ugly two seconds ago when your ego wasn't bruised, but okay guy.

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    • They're definitely trying to protect their ego haha

    • Cause they want to come away the "victor", it's a way to save face

      we obviously don't mean what we're saying, we're just trying to save our ego

  • I don’t understand people in general..

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  • I don’t understand why men put themselves in the mindset that they have to be extra macho n crap to be taken seriously. Like always paying for dates and being the provider every single time and case, and lifting heavy stuff like women don’t have two arms and legs 😂

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    • emasculates

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    • @Ellie-V
      I'll try to answer that. Women have to understand that individually they might be different from each other, but as a whole they form tendencies like all people do (men/women). So to answer your question. You might not be one of the women that like the "macho" behavior in men, but that's far away from being the tendency, in fact you are the opposite aka an exception to the tendency/rule. Now, imagine being a man, knowing that most women have the tendency to like the as you said "macho" type of behavior. What would you do? Wait for exception like yourself to come, spending years alone till you find her (and IF you find her), or comply and play the game as women want it to be played, by putting the "macho" mask on your face? So the answer is simple, men tend to do it because women as a whole tend to like it...

    • There are women out there who wouldn't go on a date with a guy unless he paid for her, men are wired to be the provider (hunter & gatherer example), men are stronger, we think if we do something like taking stuff out her car into her apartment, it puts a good view on us, that we're trying to help her, it's an easy time to introduce yourself if you haven't already etc etc.

  • To show my ignorance, not a lot. Men aren’t that complicated. I understand most of the more universal behavior but when it comes to a personal level we all have our own strengths and weaknesses.

    But I can’t think of one behavior common amongst men in general that I don’t understand on some level.

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  • Why do guys like to speak about having sex with girlfriends to their friends all the time. I find it disguising and disrespectful. Also i don't understand guy's who chase more than one girl, firstly that's a lot off effort and a waste of time if they have no intention of actually being with the girl and when it comes down to actually wanting to settle down know girls going to take the seriously.

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    • Because if one girl says no, then the other girl is the next option. And it’s not a waste of time because “you miss 100% if the shots you don’t take” so we save time by pursuing 3 women at once and then if 1/3 are good and it works the other 2 will be cut off of remain. As friends invade things don’t workout with the first one.

      The dirty tramp women who ruin good men are to blame for this logic

    • 1. because we know that women do it with their friends ALL. THE. TIME, so why can't we?

      2. so that we don't waste time chasing one girl. life is short, so, why should we pay attention to one girl for SOOOOO long?

    • Because that's the male & alpha male mentality, for guys it's something TO brag about, it makes us more of a man to our peers etc.
      Okay, and what happens if it doesn't work out with that girl after 8 months? He's wasted 8 months for nothing, but if he was chasing multiple, maybe the other worked out, maybe would have much sooner too?
      It's not just on the guy either, women need to ask questions, what they guy wants, if he just wants something casual, don't judge him, don't make a big deal of it, just say that's not the same as me and move on.

  • Why do some of them get upset about women's preference, shame us for it, call us shallow, whores when rejected but then tell us not to shame them for there's? For example:

    Men: women are shallow gold diggers for wanting men who are financially stable and responsible with his career and money. How dare she wants that type of man instead of me. She's also ain't Shit if she only wants to date tall men but she better have a banging body for me to date her.
    Also men: why do women get with no good, broke, asshole thugs? it's your fault for choosing the wrong man and getting pregnant by him. Choose wiser next time.

    It seems like there is no win win, we're dammed if we do or don't.

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    • And why do some of them blame us for the lack of showing emotions when they still enforce that on themselves?

      Men: women and society says we're pussies for showing emotions!
      Also men: stop crying over that girl, you're acting like a simp and pussy

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    • Men:Women are selfish c*nts who don’t care about our problems
      Women:do you want to talk about it?
      Men:NO I’M NOT A WUSS FAIRY WHO NEEDS YOUR HELP!

    • good men won't do that. you're obviously not meeting good men

      but, like i said, if you're saying you'd only date one race. that's racism

  • Why you gotta harass me and follow me? No I will not JUMP IN YOUR CAR leave me alone I'm just doing my own thing. Don't follow me. Stop it. Get some help.

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    • What do you mean. I mean, i get it, you've already said no to him and all that, and if he continues it becomes harassment.

      however what do you mean?

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    • they still do it

      and it just sounds like they're creeps. i wouldn't ask why they do it

      i would just write them off as being immature.. likely young men

    • @SEuclid most are 30+

  • Why they think a woman in a job where she is required to be nice to them is actually flirting with them

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    • all jobs require someone being nice. if you're not nice, YOU CAN GET FIRED

    • Oh I know. But there's some men who genuinely think that niceness is a woman actually flirting with them. Those men. Are trash of the highest caliber because like you said. If they're not nice for even a second they get fired. That's a problem too but a rant for another day

  • They cry when we don't respond immediatly to them but when we do, they ignore us?

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    • Its a guyish tendency

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    • @SEuclid What's the point of wanting something that you can't have? For a short time a girl maybe has a crush on the best looking guy from her school but it has no future so why bother.

    • thats the point she wants what she can't

      or in other words, what she shouldn't have

      basically, what she wants, is what we all know she won't wind up with

      that doesn't mean she can't not want him though. WANT

  • Why they get angry so fast, not every guy just the majority that I know.

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    • Oh, that's an easy one!! A lot of guys are raised not to EVER cry, and if they do, they are told, in an ANGRY tone, not to!!
      Most guys from my generation, and even the next, learn that the only "acceptable" emotion, is anger, but then that is 'Wrong' now. . . Hence your question.
      I grew up, being told by my father, "Stop that GD crying, or I will give you something to cry about!!"
      Boys were raised differently, than girls, and when a boy got hurt, the coach would just say "Walk it off!! Man up, and get back in the game!!"\
      Different times, and different ways. Not saying any is 'right' or 'wrong', just trying to give you an idea where their 'anger' comes from.
      Maybe because they weren't 'allowed' to 'feel' and taught to just 'stuff it'? It somehow finds a way to erupt, like a volcano, later!

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    • That's right

    • short tempered? I mean, if they're getting angry real fast (like a lot of women do, too), they're likely just short tempered..

  • Why is it that your pee never makes it in the toilet and always around it?

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    • You have to have a penis to understand

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    • i know a guy who needs to shut the fuck up

    • @jeremythedrummer Something totally different, and not really related, but maybe?
      I wonder if guys with foreskins, can shoot rifles, in their army service, more accurate than pissing? Just a casual thought, and a LAUGH, really!!:):)

  • What's up with the aggression? Some dudes try to tell me that they need to fight and let out steam and I don't understand why

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    • Guys need to do something to let their emotions settle down and clear their head. Unlike women we cannot just talk about it from the get go, at least I can’t. Some men need aggression (fight, punching ball, etc), others go for a run in the park, or work on something (eg something on the car, home repairs, etc). it all helps :)

    • just releases their stress. that's just a primal urge we have, like sex

    • I don't understand either

  • Why it always seems like guys only care about sex. I don’t mean to offend anyone, maybe I just hang out with the wrong type of guys

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    • Personally I don't only care about sex. I care about a lot of things. I care about whether my pets have been fed, whether I got enough sleep, if I'll have a productive day, etc. There's a lot of other things to care about besides sex. If there's a girl and we've been fucking and enjoying it then she decides she wants a relationship (and I don't) then it's going to seem like I "only care about sex" though.

    • We care other things too. But sex u knew it. It's a same story 4 both of gender

    • both sexes like sex. men are told they're allowed to be "out with it", while women are told they have to "hide it" because it's supposedly wrong for a girl to be OK with her sexuality

  • I’ve always been curious about what exactly their orgasms feel like.

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    • i think different people feel different things but, i know for me, it feels like a weight has been lifted off me, especially when im stressed

    • And I yours

  • How they can have sex with no feelings for the girl.

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    • To be fair this isn't a uniquely male thing. This attitude is how friends with benefits relationships are able to work. Some people just see sex in a different light, and don't necessarily have to attach emotions and deeper feelings to the act, rather its just a fun form of physical release.

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    • Because it feels wonderful. I think it is much better with someone I really care about, but when you don't have someone like that in your life, any port in a storm.

    • That is because men are actually sexually attracted to the female body, unlike women to the male body. Men are actually heterosexual, most women are weirdly demisexual.

  • Why men don't pick up on certain social cues, the ones women are generally sensitive to.

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    • I can answer that. When i have an intrest or want to convey a messege i just say it verbaly and so do my friends, this way it is all clear. So we don't relay on nonverbal communication and are not proficient in it.

    • the ones WOMEN are generally sensitive to

      WOMEN

      you said the answer, in your own question

    • I know that men are more oriented to direct communication, even saying things bluntly. It's like men and women have their own language lol. If women were so blunt towards each other, offense would be taken.

  • Why men don't understand us? I know why. It's all because they don't listen us.

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    • Oh we listen but, most of the time, you don't actually mean what you say

  • Their ability to stay rational and calm in a stressful difficult situation.

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    • we really aren't. we may show we are, but, we really aren't. you have no idea what is going on inside. but, you have to maintain your cool, in situations like that because then you just make the situation worse

    • Exactly.

    • thats my point

  • How men can bitch so much about our flaws but still can't live without women for a day.

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    • I've lived without a woman for nearly 4 years, and I'm doing fine. Women botch about men far more often than the other way around. I would also challenge that a good chunk of a woman's efforts is spent hiding their flaws behind makeup in order to appear more attractive to men, thus inferring that generally, women need a man in their lives much more than a man needs a woman.

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    • Well I'm glad we got that solved lol

    • i know right?

      ill never understand you girls, but, i would die, without them

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