I'm developing feelings for another man than my boyfriend. What do I do?

I am with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he's a really sweet guy.
But lately I've been having feelings for another man I know and I'm really having trouble with it.
I don't want to break up with my boyfriend and break his heart, but my feelings keep expanding for this other man.
What do I do that I don't hurt myself or my boyfriend?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • That depends on who you love more; your boyfriend or the other guy? I'd suggest a self-evaluation on yourself as to why you're finding this other guy more attractive than your boyfriend. Could it be a potential deal-breaker in the differences between these two guys?

    If you love your boyfriend more, try to detach yourself from the other guy for a while and focus your romantic interests back on your boyfriend so he doesn't feel like a back burner. Catching feelings for someone can happen from time to time but it's what you do with those feelings that'll make the outcome. If you end up loving the other guy more, it'd be best to talk to your boyfriend about this and see which direction you both want to go with it. The worst thing you can do is to absolutely nothing and let these feelings manifest themselves in you. It's your life; make the choice you believe is the best one for everyone here.

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  • Tell me one thing. How long is this happening? And what do u feel about the new guy

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    • It's been happening for a few months. I just blush and have a feeling I want to grab him and kiss him now every time I see him. I get a lump in my throat when we need to eork closely and I really need to restrain myself not to ask for his help when I'm stuck.

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    • This is the issue. U need to be satisfied in bed. That it

    • That's it*

Most Helpful Girls

  • There must be a reason why you are still looking at other men while you are in a relationship. I am not judging you, but I suspect that you might not be completely happy in your relationship. I think it is not a bad thing to want happiness. It might feel bad to leave your boyfriend, but what if you can have a happy life with the other guy? I suggest you think hard about your current relationship. Is it the way you want it to be for the rest of your life? If yes, then please forget about all other men. If no, then think about leaving, because staying would ultimately result in both of you getting hurt even more

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  • Its a tricky one and can happen to the best of us. Don't feel guilty about it. If you still have feelings for your boyfriend then its not worth dumping him.
    If you went to the new guy it may be good for a while, all new relationships are fun but then once you settle down into that long term relationship you may well regret it.

    I reckon you should take a break, go somewhere nice with your boyfriend for a few days. Spend some time together, get your best sexy lingerie out in the hotel room, relax with him for a while and remind yourself why you got with him in the 1st place

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 21

  • You're going to do what you want. I think you should break up with your boyfriend, because otherwise your going to start to resent him. BUT I think you should also hold off on this other guy too, because if you don't believe you have any control over your emotions, then you need more practice controlling your emotions. Self-denial can be a virtue.

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  • I think you're just comfortable where you are. If you catch feelings for someone else then he isn't the one. I fell in love w a girl but she has a boyfriend but constantly told me that she did catch feeling and if only I had come along sooner and that she doesn't want to leave her boyfriend of 3 years. And it's all because you're just comfortable. Be honest with yourself and make yourself happy

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  • What will hurt you both the most is doing nothing about it. Do you think it will be easier years down the road? It won't be. You will both have wasted years of your life on a loveless relationship. Do the both of you a favor, and end it now.

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  • threesome. get a girlfriend and have a threesome with the new guy. dump the old guy. win/win

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  • if you truly do love your boyfriend, then you have to make some distance between yourself and this other man.

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  • Ask yourself the following: "Do i still have romantic feelings for my boyfriend or are those just positive emotions that are meant for companionship?"

    To me it sounds like the latter, aka that your romantic and sexual feelings are dwindling.

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  • If you cheat on him, your scum, dont cheat on him. If you realy love your boyfriend then cute the extra temptation out of the picture and cut this dude out. OR break up with the boyfriend if you dont love him...

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  • Whatever you do, make a decision. Don't sit on the fence about it, because it will end badly for everyone.
    I had this happen to me, I would have been in the position of the new guy. She had been seeing her boyfriend for the same amount of time.
    It dragged on longer than it should have.
    Ultimately, she thought she could have her cake and eat it too.
    I got led on and got pissed off.
    I put my foot down and ended it.
    If I ever meet her boyfriend, WHEN I meet him, I won't hesitate to tell him about everything between me and her.
    Not even because I want her anymore, but purely out of spite.
    She played with my emotions, led me on, hurt me deeply, and wasted my time.

    Make a decision.
    You either get one, or nothing at all.

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  • As a man of 37 years I'm going to say one thing:
    THE GRASS IS NOT ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE
    Real relationships take work and time, it's not always fun, and it's easy to look elsewhere. Yes that guy ticks all your boxes, and wouldn't life be amazing if it were you and him? Take a moment and ask yourself, wasn't that what you thought when u met your current boyfriend?
    Do the following:
    1 distance yourself from this guy
    2 talk to your bloke
    3 try to look at the bigger picture

    If you have made your mind up and you need to leave this guy, then I shall leave you with my last piece of advice.
    There is no easy way to break up with someone. You will hurt their feelings, but you got to do what must be done.
    Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

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  • What will u do if after breaking up with your current boy friend and making the coworker you new boyfriend and you find a 3rd person to be much more handsome and attractive and you develop feelings on a much larger scale than your new boyfriend. Would you make a leap again? Ur concept of intriguing is just cheap.. Sorry

    2nd scenario :
    After making up with ur Co worker if he develop a feeling for some other girl and he leaves u on this basis. What would you do?

    Try living life happily with what you have.

    Reasoning that u have no control over ur feelings for every new person is just bull shit.

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  • Well it's very stupid to be with someone you don't like, there's no dilemma

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  • Sounds like you need to sit down and have a good chat with him. See if you can work things out. Are you still sexually attracted to him

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  • Stay with ur boyfriend please he loves you
    Maybe get him to improve on the ways you think this other guy has

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  • Tough call. Do whatever your heart leads you to do.

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  • This is what girls character 😡. Ur not only cheating ur boy friend u r cheating ur self too..

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  • Break up I know it's hard but it's better then cheating

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  • Please leave the first guy, he will thank you later

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  • The story is made up, huh point hunters.

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  • How do you mean. What's happened thus far?

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  • Ask the other guy for a dick pic. See whose is bigger.

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    • That's just plain stupid

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    • I have no idea what you just said

    • It's dumb

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What Girls Said 12

  • You need to be honest with your boyfriend and tell him at the very least you need a break to sort out your emotions. Do not act on Your feelings towards this other guy while still in an active relationship with your boyfriend of 3 years.

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  • Don't be messed up by wasting the guy times that you've been with if you feel that you like the other guy more than the one you're currently then tell him upfront rather than wasting his time

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  • Stay away from this other guy and address what you may be seeking from him that is not felt from your boyfriend. Sounds like infatuation more than anything. 3yrs is a long time just to leave on a whim.

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  • stay away from the other guy, block him from social medias and delete his number. problem solved

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  • You need to tell him exactly what you wrote in your post. My boyfriend began to develop feelings for another woman and he didn't tell me. I had no idea - he even proposed to me and we were planning a wedding. I loved him with everything I had and yet he continued to see this other woman without my knowing. When I found out he left me for her. The worst part was that when I confronted him about it (I found a pic of him kissing her on facebook) he said nothing and just left. About to get married and he left without saying a word.

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    • Basically my point is that if you keep this a secret, it will continue to manifest into something. Very few people wake up one day and say "hey, I'm gonna cheat on the person who I fell in love with 3 years ago!" Instead people start developing feelings slowly and over the course of time, and if you don't take the moral route and tell your SO how you're feeling things will just get worst. Please stop whatever you're doing and schedule a time to talk with your partner about this. Be completely honest with them. Maybe seeing the hurt in his eyes will be enough to shake you out of this. Or, maybe you'll realize that while you loved him in the beginning you need to move on to someone else. Either way it's better to talk about it. If you don't he'll end up finding out anyway, and it will hurt him way more. Everyone appreciates honesty - and after 3 years your partner deserves it more than anybody

    • One last thing - I recommend talking to him because it levels the playing field. Right now you have all the power. You can either choose to stay with your boyfriend or leave, but he has no idea that you're thinking this. You both need to have the same amount of control over the situation - any other way is unfair to him. Maybe he won't feel comfortable staying with someone whose heart is elsewhere. Keeping him in the dark about this is unfair to him, and I can guarantee that it will come back to bite you. Talking about things now could save the relationship, but waiting for him to find out about this on his own could have the potential to destroy what took 3 years to build. Think about this.

  • Be honest

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  • Don't do anything you would regret

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  • Break up.

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  • Break up...😕

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  • What @siddhu33 said, be seems wize

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  • Make sure of your feelings and then see what to do

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  • Break up with him now.

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