Is it worth getting rejected and ridiculed when you really like somebody?

I've always been rejected, and don't want the guy I like to think negatively of me and reject me too. At the same time, I can't stop thinking about him and want to talk to him.
Updates:
Thank you everyone for your opinions.
I finally got the courage to add him, and after we talked a little he denied that he recognizes from school even though he was the first to notice me.
That left quite empty and discouraged, cause there is nothing I can talk to him about that wouldn't make me seem like a creeper chasing him.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • You'll have greater regret in not sharing those feelings in the coming future. I would recommend you tell him. If he rejects you and thinks negatively of you, you wouldn't even want someone like that as a friend. And if he ridicules you, then you DEFINITELY don't want him as a friend. His response to your feelings will dictate whether or not he is worth your time. I say this the nicest way I can... Please, have more respect for yourself :) Your question seems to imply that you want to do anything possible to keep him in your life. Honestly, that's unhealthy. Cut the ties that weigh you down. If he sees you negatively after your confession, you shouldn't want him, at all. It would be self-destructive. And you deserve better... Someone who will see you in a positive light, someone who will respect you for having shared those feelings. Go for it.

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    • Thank you so much for your opinion! You''re right about. Life is just as it is; I once regretted never knowing, later wished I had never approached one guy. It's just as it is.
      I do actually like this guy a lot as in I want to know him. He was the first to notice me in a library and was distracted from his group stating at me. That's how I noticed him back, then he would stare at me whenever I was around and seem like he wants to approach me. It was already the end of the uni year so I never had a chance to talk to him.
      I came across his fb profile randomly and was dithering about adding him and talking to him, i'm too afraid it'll come off as weird, or that he denies he recognizes me from school etc.. but as you said, i'll give it a shot, I think I just don't count rejections and pain anymore.

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    • Thanks Mimi :)

      It's totally understandable why you would care a lot about him, but keep in mind that the ideal friend / boyfriend must, first and foremost, like you for who you are. If they fail at that, then that is not a friend / boyfriend you would want. If things don't work out, don't let it get you down. Rejection doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. All it means is that you found someone incompatible. Rejection means you're one step closer to finding someone right for you. It isn't a big step, but a step nonetheless. The staircase to find the right relationship may be long, but a small step will still bring you closer to the top. Take that step.

    • Thank you so much for your insight, it's wise.

  • It's worth it. If he rejects you at least you can move on and maybe find someone that won't.
    Think of it this way: you continue to crush on him for another month. And in that month you meet a guy that's interested in you, but you don't pay attention to him cause you're focused on this guy. Then you finally ask him out and get rejected, but the guy that was intersted in you has already found someone else.
    Waiting is basically a waste of time.

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    • You're probably right. It's just in my case i've been rejected too many times both directly and indirectly and it had always really painful to get over, It still hurts. I have very little confidence that this guy might like me even though it seemed like he did. But you're right, I think it'd worse to never know what could've happened. Thank you for your opinion! Would be turned-off or think less of a girl my age who has always been rejected and never had a boyfriend?

    • Nah. At least not without knowing why they rejected you. Some guys literally reject women just for making the first move cause they think that's the guy's role.
      Others think they can do better when they really can't.
      But yeah, go for it.

Most Helpful Girl

  • No it's not. It's the worst kind of pain imaginable.

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    • Yes, it's something i've become accustomed to :/

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What Guys Said 19

  • Ye, get nae nae'd. You were not mean't for that person if they rejected you, there are millions of woomens and guys out in the wrold. Don't fixate over that stuff it's for your ownn sanity;dignity. That jusst shows how insecure you are. Don't worry you'll fix that in no tieme.

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    • I was like that bwfore. Now I'm not. I'm too smart to fall for stuff like that, but I am still insecure.

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    • It's easier said then done. You'll het the hang of it soon. If you are the person that already moves on quickly then, nice;good.

    • I really do get the feeling.

  • Is a realization better then wondering what could happen? Even a complete disappointment what positive situation could come from that? You can go head first learn he's a complete dick head on move on. Vs hiding and wonder what could happen.

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    • It's true. This thinking got me months ago to approach a guy for the first time ; it went smoothly but he never talked to me after that so I ended up having to drop it. Really anxious and afraid about contacting this guy, I'm sick of the weirdo label and thought I should learn from previous times and forget about it.

  • Depends on how much you want it, really. Yeah, it might hurt. But it might also feel really good if he welcomes you in.
    That's just my food for thought.

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    • You're right. Except one can want somebody really bad and that's what could make them shy away from approaching the person and having think less of them.

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    • Also just noticed your update to your question. Sorry that things didn't work out when you did contact him, but I still wish you well especially because you did what some people won't do.

    • They didn't actually. I started a conversation earlier with him and he denied recognizing me, he didn't ask me questions and cut it short. He was the one to stare at me and make me notice him and I couldn't help but develop a crush. It took me everythig to finally add him.
      Now I feel empty. I feel the pain of the rejection and deception that I dreaded.

  • Sometimes you just need to risl it for the biscuit. Trust me I once fell in love with a girl, but when I tried to be nice to her she only thought I was scary and she was actually lesbian but it was then i realized that if they can't like you for who you are then I can't let myself be with someone like them

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  • You love him. I was been there I loved this girl. I said it many times. She never believed me. I was just a joke to her. Sad thing is I still think about het

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  • If you really want to date him, make him notice you more. If he tends to notice you more, he will naturally have a better attraction to you. If you do it enough, he might be the one to ask you out

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    • The uni year has ended and I longer see him. For a fact, he was the first one to notice me. We were in a library and he was distracted from his group and staring at me, so I noticed him back. From that day he would stare at me and seem like he wants to approach me when i'm around. I also tried to make eye contact and make myself available. I wanted to talk to him but it was already the end of the semester.
      Now I found his profile and was dithering about adding him and talking to him.
      Thank you for your opinion!

    • Anytime, you should add him and gl

  • Everytime. No regrets love. Waste no more time wondering. You know your worth and if he doesn't see it then so be it. Move on with or without him don't dwell it's unattractive. Life is too short

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    • Thank you for your opinion. I hope I won't fail to come to this realization. It's just too hard to get over somebody you really like and have them think less of you.

    • If they aren't thinking of you now how can they think less

  • no but it can happen sometimes

    another question

    do I seem or look like the type of guy to be chronically rejected?

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    • I really couldn't know. These things you simply can't know or judge from looks, unless i'm closed-minded and biased.

    • yeah you're right,
      it sucks that some people can't see the value of personality, and only see the value of looks instead
      looks have an expiration date, your personality doesn't

  • If your going to do anything make sure it's obvious a lot of the times men don't realize they were being hit on or even asked out.

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    • I stopped seeing him since the uni year ended. I didn't have the chance to talk to him. He was the first to notice me, he would stare at me whenever I was around and seem like he wanted to approach me. I found his profile randomly and was dithering about adding him.

    • Definitely add him make the first move

    • Thank you for your opinion!

  • Depends on how much you like him. If you can't live without knowing, you have to talk to him. In that case, it's worth the risk of rejection, because you won't like yourself if you never try.

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  • It's a tough spot to be in, for sure. You feel like you don't know which way to handle it? Do you know any other girl who has talked to him like that and gotten rejected?

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    • No, I know nothing about him and we're in different social circles. I also no longer see him since the end of the uni year. I found his profile though and been dithering about adding him and talking to him.

    • Well asking someone out online isn't exactly very tough. It's harder to do it in person. So if you really like this guy, you may have to just go for it.

    • Thank you for your opinion!

  • You should ask him and if you get rejected ask him about firendship. I think it's only one best answer :)

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  • Your time will come💙
    Positive attitude = positive life
    Things will fall into place

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  • Just because someone rejects you that doesn’t automatically mean that they think negatively of you

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  • To answer your question, for some it is, for others it isn't.

    Here's an idea, try talking to him like a person and not a sex object.

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    • I would've talked to him as such, it's the only way I know. I never like someone for less than a genuine emotional connection. I hope it will be worth it.

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    • About your update: At least now you know.

      Also, why do you think you'd be a creeper?

    • I can't explain really. He was absolutely closed to discussion even though I explained that I added cause I noticed him a lot since he was always straring at me the whole time when I was around him. He denied that when I sent him my pictures, and didn't return any of the questions. It just makes me look like I simply added him to stalk or stick to him :/
      My worst fear got realized. Therefore I never want to hope fot anything anymore.

  • Talk to him you have absolutely nothing to lose

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  • Yes it makes you stronger

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  • Not worth it

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  • I've been ridiculed one time and it left a mark. I would say not worth it, but YOLO

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What Girls Said 7

  • Most people won't ridicule you when they reject you. It's not a big deal.

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  • Life’s too short for the what if’s. Go for it. Yes, rejection is painful, but you’re strong and you can handle what ever comes your way. The only way to know if he likes you is to ask. Good luck!

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  • It's a risk we all take when we're approaching someone or expressing our feelings to them. I took that risk when I asked my boyfriend out on a date, so you will never know unless you do it.

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  • It sucks but sometimes being rejected is like closure so that you can move on without mindlessly falling in love

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  • Its not your fault. Or maybe it is. I don't know. But. better try then cry about being rejected than crying when another girl takes it.

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  • Of course

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  • It isn't worth it... Trust me

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