How do I not get friendzoned?

Hey, i just downloaded just to ask this question lol. I have constantly been talking to girl but always get friendzoned, im a very nice guy who likes to listen and very sweet and a great person to talk to (i am told) but yet i get friendzoned :/. I tried the be nice and ask her out later=friendzoned, become friendly then ask her out= friendzoned, be a little flirty and funny=friendzone, and be all flirt= friendzone, i just dont get what i am supposed to do, the last roll i can think of is the asshole card which girls dig for some reason but that isn't me and i won't try it, just help because I've been single since birth and all my friends have been in a relationship and im not saying i want one to be social or something, i want one to feel loved and love someone. Please help

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Most Helpful Girls

  • People are attracted to who they're attracted to. You cannot make someone like you by feeding them niceness, & it's cruel to attempt to do so because all your kindness is being put forward with the intention of getting something in return. Girls do not "dig assholes". Nobody wants to be with someone who treats them like crap & I really wish every so-called "nice guy" would quit their pouting & stop blaming their inability to get a significant other on women/men who allegedly prefer being treated poorly over dating them.

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    • You can't wallow in self pity because you haven't been with someone. You can't blame your friend because she doesn't like you. She can't just snap her fingers & feel attraction. If someone you want doesn't want you in return, it just isn't going to happen. It doesn't mean something is wrong with either of you. It takes two to fall in love and if the person you want doesn't want you back, you find a way to accept it, heal from whatever you're feeling because of it, & you move on until you find someone who shares your feelings. I'm sorry if this seems harsh but women experience, see, read, & hear this stuff ALL the time & it gets exhausting. It happens to everyone. Everyone at one point wants someone who doesn't want them back. You can't have everyone you want. Life doesn't work like that.

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  • You don't need to change yourself in anyways just to find that girl who will love you for who you are because just the way you are you will eventually find that someone who will love you. No need to be too stressed just continue to be yourself. I believe in the philosophy " all things are happening for a reason ". As for you when you actually found one girl that you like, let your actions sends the message first. Don't need to only show her that you're just a friendly guy if you like her. Make your actions do the work of telling her you care and like her as more than friends. I hope you understand what i mean if not then you can message me for it. In another word I'm saying that things like relationships you cannot fake it to be true and you can never force it if there is none.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Okay I'm just going to come out & just simply say this,... being a sweet, wonderful nice guy,... that will get you friendzoned at every turn. You being a good listener & trying to help her with some of her issues, you're not acting like a potential, caring, boyfriend candidate,.. if anything she's already looking at you like you are her best friend/brother to her & that is quite literally all that she sees you as, all because you are not her type.

    I should know, I've been down that path plenty of times. If that kind of "sweet, nice guy" method didn't score me a beautiful girl in my life then, it for sure as hell won't do it for me now. You need to start reading about how to become an alpha male. There are 2 types of guys that women see. The one who's a complete, over-cocky-esh dick & women don't want those, & the other one is the guy who's very brave, steps up as a man, & is very confident in what he can do, & how he talks to people (and yes women too)

    The guy who's very confident in himself, people look up to him & if there is any negative talk about him,... he's not going to give a rats-ass as to what people think of him.

    He knows the kind of guy he is like & doesn't have to prove anything to any one.

    Don't act clingy, desperate & needy, that shows you are placing all of your attention onto her like you are in need of a girlfriend terribly beyond badly or something. Do the opposite of that & don't show her that much attention. I'm thinking very little to none.

    If you still want to be friends with her, that's your choice.
    If you're still in the friendzone with this girl, that just shows right there she only sees you as a friend because you are not her type as a boyfriend.

    I have watched a few videos about this kind of topic & apparently the best way when meeting a girl you are attracted to for the first time is just talk to her, introduce yourself to her & just tell her straight up right there that you think she's cute & you want to get to know her & you are not interested as "just friends" & that's it. Don't get me wrong, you still need to get to know her,.. afterall, you still need to discover if you both have chemistry, common-likes & if you both are right for each other. If she says no,.. just act like,"Okay, whatever. I don't care. Your loss, not mine". Then just walk away like you really don't care.

    You're still young, there are plenty of female cuties out there for you.

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  • Okey ill try to sum up my 5 years of learning and trying to understand women ,
    1-confidence:girls dig that and whenever she is a women will respond positively to it and if you can master it every door will be opened for you.
    2-teasing:imagine being a hot chick and everyone is just kissing your ass and telling you beautiful and perfect you are and how you dont fart (haha) how boring is that , and then comes this funny cocky guy who starts teasing her about her weird shoes (for example) who would you have chosen?
    -attractive:im no saying to become brad pitt just wear nice , smell good , train if you want.
    And the last ingredient that will mix all of this and help you connect with chicks more.. HAVE FUN for fucks sake just have fun you see a girl just think about having some fun with her and make her laugh and have a good time thats it they will love you and dig you for that.

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What Girls Said 13

  • When you meet someone and you guys begin talking, you have to make your intentions known from the start. Or at least make a very distinguishable line between you acting like a friend and you acting as more. This is something that I've noticed divides who's worth dating and who is just a friend. Even if you two don't date right off the bat that foundation will still be laid. You don't even have to make it known from the beginning but at some point you have to become less of a shoulder to cry on or a close guy friend that always happens to be there and begin present yourself more as boyfriend material. Now a lot of people get confused when it comes to this, most females don't look at guys that are always there for them as boyfriend material, they look at them as friends. At least that's how I look at those guys and so do a lot of other girls I know. Don't tell her that's she's a special friend to you. Or that she's your best friend. Make it known that's she's a special PERSON to you. There are no labels there and no way anyone can misinterpret that as anything less than what you want it to be. You speak to people you like differently than you would to any other girl you see as a friend. You also treat people you like differently than any other normal person.

    Don't make yourself too available. Now this might sound like a bad thing to do if you want to be more than a friend but people want what they can't have. When I say don't make yourself too available, I mean be there for her when she genuinely needs you but don't always say yes to her requests. Such as hanging out or giving her rides places. Most guys that like a girl willing throw themselves at them, often times that just makes you easy to walk all over.

    Flirt a little bit. Tease her about things just make sure it isn't over board and begin to turn into insults. Flirting can also mean complimenting her or jokingly admitting your feelings. Just make sure she's laughing, girls tend to fall for guys that can make them laugh.

    Make physical contact. This doesn't have to be holding hands or caressing her face, it can be as simple as bumping into her jokingly or "accidentally, hugging her or gently tugging on her hair.

    I hope this works for you. You also have to remember that not every girl you meet is going to fall for you.

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  • Maybe you're just not talking to the right people.. Not everyone deserves a person as awesome as you, and you don't have to try to get girls. Let the girls come get you

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    • In what realistic universe do girls go to guys?

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    • Aw, yw❀ don't be afraid to message me if you ever wanna talk. Hope things get better for you :)

    • And i managed to be a love doctor again, ur welcome πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Look, there's no such thing as the friendzone. These girls simply do not want a relationship with you. I'm not saying you're a bad guy or anything, but that the girls you reference don't want a relationship with you. Just go out and TALK with people. Be yourself.

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  • Maybe you Come on too Strong. Girls sense this and it May Make Them... Amiss.
    Try being a Little Less flirty and more Honest John by Asking Them Things about Themselves? xx

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    • Thats exactly what i do, if anything i would say im not to strong enough πŸ˜‚

  • you shouldn't be "playing cards". Quit playing games. Tell her how you feel and draw a line. If she doesn't want to be with you romantically then walk away.

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  • I don't think there's an actual strategy to prevent yourself from getting friendzoned... you just gotta wait for the right girl who reciprocates your feelings

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  • Just stop trying, be her best friend and there's a good chance she'll fall in love with you without knowing it

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  • By not waiting to long. If u wait a long time she will think u just want to be friends

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  • By not being too nice or clingy

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  • Work on your personality and looks too

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  • It's more or less you finding the right person. Just be yourself, don't try to do something that isn't true. and let them know what you're looking for when you start talking, so you know where they stand with you.

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  • Either she isn't attracted to you or she's "playing hard to get" to appease her own insecurity, where she can brag/complain to her friends about how much this guy is chasing her. In any case, just move on cold turkey and ignore her which she will either miss all the attention or she never appreciated you anyway. So, whatever, let this bird go!

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  • work on your looks

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What Guys Said 35

  • Dude, stop trying to hit on women who friendzone you. That's all.

    1. Stop focusing on one girl. Try to date several.
    2. Be upfront with a girl about wanting to be romantic. Get that out of the way first. If she says she isn't interested and just wants to be friends, then be her friend.
    3. Develop yourself. Develop your interests. The problem with a lot of you guys is you don't focus on you. If you like to travel, then travel. If you like to speak different languages, start to learn some. If you like music, then learn to play an instrument. Figure out how to make yourself interesting.
    4. Be social. Get out. Go out with groups if you don't have the knack for approaching women one-on-one. There are all kinds of websites that have meetups and get togethers for young people.
    5. Stop listening to women's advice on dating. They can't tell you how to date them. They don't even know themselves about what makes them attracted to guys. Guys who are good with women know.

    To All the Men Who Think They Have Been Friendzoned, Passed Over, etc. Here is a Little Advice... β†—

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  • Yo, there is a difference between being nice, and being honest... First of all, be honest when talking to a girl that you like, make it clear that you want to have something more than a frindship (like if you are willing to date, say it why you want to date, like "hey I found you cute…" so she will understand your intentions and will give you the answer that you need (of course there will be rejections, but you won't get "friend zoned", and it's the only way to know if you have a chance). I mean, you wanna know if she is into you or not, and not of she wants to be your friend, and you got to be clear about it... The chances of getting a "no" will be higher, but thats the ONLY way that you will get the answer that you want, and also the best way to know if a girl is into you... I'm not saying to you be a jerk, but just make your intentions clear. If your goal is to have a partner, then first you got to know if there is a chance of that happen, and only then you should really invest on it, otherwise you will only hurt yourself, thinking that "maybe, someday" she will get what you want, and believe me, that is worst than a simple"no".

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  • Guys decide in 30-45 seconds whether they are romantically interested and whether they would sleep with a girl. Women are more judicious them a minute and a half. One friendzoned you are forever friendszoned. All you can do is refuse it, make clear from the start you are interested in a romantic relationship ONLY. When she suggests friends tell her you are a terrible friend but a remarkable Boyfriend. But do NOT accept the designation.

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  • You have to escalate and make seem like you are seeing other girls. I didn't believe it but e only times women have shown an interest in me is when i was taken or when they were and they wanted to get their boyfriends jealous. The cold hard truth is that you MUST be seen to be taken or with someone else (at least among shallow horny immature women. Not serious ones.
    Serious girls have different riorities but most girls work like this )

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  • Don't mean to be rude but it seems like she isn't interested in you since she refused to go out on several occasions. Just move on, look for a new girl. Also, do you have any cool hobbies or talents? Might be useful in the future since it makes you stand out from a crowd.

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  • Try to be more alpha. Don't always be available and try chasing goals instead of her for a while. She will notice that you have a life other than her and that you are strong and independent. Still you should care about her since you like her but don't be all over her and just do anything for her. You do you and wait for the right time to take her out. Don't even ask her be like "let's go out... blah blah blah"

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  • there's no such thing as the friendzone, Its a myth or a lame excuse (choose what you want). Just get yourself out there and make yourself Interesting πŸ‘πŸΌ

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    • As I friendzone king, I can guaranty it does exist, and that's a shame (yes my kingdom is a shame...)

  • Are you talking about the same girl here? If so you should get restriction order-zoned! Jk. Continue to be who you are while discovering your best self, become confident with it and "the one" will show up.

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  • First start off by just being yourself. Stop copying others (be good, not nice). Second develop self confidence but don't become a cocky person. Third ascertain that the girl is romantically interested in you only then make a move.

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  • This method work 9 out of 10 times, what u need to do is just ignore her for about a week or two and she'll crawl back to you when she finds out how much she needs from you. And boom Bata bing you got urself a girlfriend

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  • There is nothing you can do, to make a woman love you. When she does not love you, you haven't found the right woman yet.
    Keep looking until you do.

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  • If you find the solution to not being friendzoned, or going out of friendzone, you would deserves some prize like nobel prize, or medals fields...
    You'll save humanity!!!

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  • Don't be so nice wo. an like a man that can take care of them but thin line do t be arrogant be yourself but not too much you'll see

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  • I recommend the book Models by Mark Manson. If you don't read much, try the audiobook. It answers this question and so many others

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  • There is no escaping the friendzone. If a women doesn't like you, then she doesn't like you. You will not change her mind (Same goes for women).

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  • You need to study seduction and female psicology. It's hard to accept, but it can change your life. Best part? You don't need to be an asshole

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  • By not being a entitled little bitch who thinks if he's nice he gets pussy.

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  • Easiest way to not get friendzoned... make them hate your guts.

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  • Don't use being nice as a tool get the girl. Don't be a dick either. As a fellow nice guy i had to learn things.
    1. Don't be a door mat, and don't be afraid to rock the boat.
    2. Let her know you have a life outside of her
    3 it's kind of a trick but have options other th a n her. If you do nice things for her stop doing it so much expecting her to fall for you.
    You can fall back from her and switch your style up and improve yourself. Talk to other women and don't focus on one at time because you'll build this fantasy in your head and will make the rejection worse.

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