Crushed and confused?

this is tough, need real answers.My girlfriend and I of 2 + years broke up 2 months ago and I have wanted to get back together since because I feel confident in what we could have. She on the other hand says while she is "open minded" about the future, at THIS point she just doesn't see it happening. As we all know, people and things do change. Well this week we decided to sleep together, and like usual it was INCREDIBLE. I can speak for both of us it was in no way just "getting off", it was more than that. We still do love each other and voiced it to each other. We spent 2 days together making love and having a great time being the old "us", best friends. Here is her main concern and was before this: if we do sleep together, I will take it as a sign that we are getting back together and that freaks her out as she doesn't want to be in a relationship. Well, I DO want to be with her, just not right now. In my head I realize that I have my own issues to deal with and so does she. She on the the other hand said the 2 days were incredible sex and she "had her best friend back" but in no way wants to pursue a relationship, IS open minded about the future, just at this point her gut says IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. My issue is that I need to be more confident and independent, but more importantly not HANG ON TO an outcome. I know I have been thinking to myself that if these past two days (which seemed like a temporary relationship to me if you know what I mean) are anything like what we COULD have together, I DO want that. We have committed to sleeping with only each other, and if we do sleep with someone else we promise to tell the other person. "no strings attached, we are both free to do what we want, and date as much as we want".heres where I am REALLY confused, while she SAYS she wants options and wants to date and have the OPTION to sleep around, her and I BOTH know she is not the sleeping around type, she just "wants that option" because she does not want to commit to anything right now. How do I let go of "an attached outcome"? How do I know if we WILL be in a relationship again? Am I simply setting myself up to be hurt? Since we love eachother, and we are enjoying this "fling thing" (albeit it is more than simply sex) would/could we work out again? I DO want the relationship and she doesn't, so how do I move on from giving myself false hope yet enjoying what we got? Is there any way of knowing if SHE will want more? again the 2 days was not just sex, it was a BETTER version of us, and I told her it seemed to me like a "mini relationship" while she saw it as AMAZING sex and "her best friend back. I know I am an emotional wreck, but I would greatly appreciate your help. She wants: occasional incredible sex, hang out/watch movies etc at times, "keep it light", no commitments" and have our own lives. (seems to me everything that our relationship SHOULD HAVE been except without commitment) she said "you are back to being the guy I fell in love with"


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What Girls Said 2

  • Personally sounds to me like you're f*ck buddies and that's not what you want because in the end you're going to get you're heart crushed. I've been in this situation and it's dangerous. She wants to have sex and have no strings attached but, that's impossible because you still want to be with her. I don't think it's a good idea to keep sleeping together no matter how amazing it is because you're only setting yourself up to get hurt more. You just have to step back and realize if that sex is worth more pain to come. Maybe you both need you're own time to grow and if it's meant to be you will be together again.

  • Well, my first piece of advice is STOP sleeping with her. I mean, reality is, not only guys use girls for works the other way too. If she's getting what she wants from you without a commitment, why the hell would she want to be with you? (NO offense)

    If you want things to work out, my best advice is to stop allowing her to treat you like a rent-a-boyfriend. Don't call her and talk to her like everything is fine. Don't answer her calls all the time. Make her miss you.she needs to start realizing what she lost and never will if you're always there for her!

    Good Luck!


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