Guys, how would you react to this text message? The more opinions the better

I've been seeing this guy for a few months, he started acting less interested and is now just being flat out rude(ignoring me, not responding to text) so I send him this:

"I don't really know what's going on with you, all I know is I used to have fun hanging out with you and that's all I ever thought about it so I don't know how you've managed to mess up something so simple. Let me know if you decide to stop being an idiot because I'm not wasting anymore time on this."

I thought the problem might be him thinking things were getting too serious but I'm not sure. I sent it this afternoon and he hasn't responded. How do you think he feels about this text? Do you think he will come to his senses and say something in a few days or maybe if I ran into him out at a bar? In other words, what's the chance of me getting him back or the best way to get him back. I'll run into him a lot, we have the same friends.


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What Guys Said 2

  • You are definitely not on the road to getting him back. Pushing him away seems more like it. Women can be so analytical about things people say or do but sometimes don't take the time themselves to THINK before saying something. "Think before you speak". An old virtue taught to us as children, clearly forgotten or obstructed by your resentment towards him.

    Check this out:

    You say HE was being "flat out" rude by ignoring you and not responding back to your texts.

    Let me ask you this. What were YOU being when you called him an "idiot", and told him how he's managed to "mess everything up"?

    Does HE need to come to his senses? I believe you need to start with yourself first. Because you aren't using your senses if what you think you are doing is getting him to come back to you. And further more, I would think HE lost his senses if he responded and wanted anything to do with someone to speaks to someone that way. I'm not saying your not entitled to feel frustrated, but also to use good sense. No one is eager to get in a relationship with someone who would send texts like that.

    If you notice, you seem to be angry when things aren't going your way. You say I USED to have fun until he messed it all up. Just because YOU aren't having fun, doesn't mean he's messed anything up.

    So to answer your question, it's not him who

    has to come to any senses, it's YOU that has to. If you want to attempt to get him back anyway. Personally, I feel that everyone who replies to this question will tell you that they have MORE sense than to want to come back. But here's my advice: think before you speak or write. Don't find fault or blame anyone for what's going. Tell him how you FEEL. Not that you FEEL he's being stupid (that's name calling, no point is getting across saying this.) Ask him what HE is feeling as well. Don't assume. ASK him if he's afraid of getting to serious. With guys, it's all about directness, not to be confused with insults.

    It's my opinion that he's already seen a side of you he doesn't want to be apart of. Why wait until later to regret it. Also to finish up here, is that for now and for future references, you need to look at yourself and change whatever it is you needs to change before eve thinking about anyone else changing or making sacrifices for you. I would like to think if you received that same text from some guy, it is highly unlikely you would be dying to text him back immediately or feel compelled to be with this person. For all you know he was busy. Saw a bunch of angry insecure texts and thought it's not worth dealing with. Your trying to be manipulative by trying to get him to see you are worth having, and I think the opposite is being projected.

    • Okay, so I just texted him and told him I was sorry and asked if I could talk to him. Will this help at all?

  • I wouldn't particularly like this part:

    "Let me know if you decide to stop being an idiot because I'm not wasting anymore time on this."

    • but would it just p*ss him off and make him not care or would it make him feel like a moron for giving up a girl like me when he had it so easy... maybe make him try for me again when he runs into me at a party later this week? Should I have not texted him at all? After a while he got cocky and stopped trying to impress me I didn't want him to think he was the only one dissatisfied the ultimate goal is to get him back. I know he'll have trouble resisting me if he gives me a chance to try.

    • Show All
    • too late. I know he was trying to end things with me, I think he thought it was getting too serious but I thought saying I never thought of it as "serious" would make him feel stupid but he could have seen it as too much drama and not worth dealing with. could it have pissed him off enough to not care that he ended it for no reason? that's why I said I was sorry and asked if we could talk, he never replied.could he just be thinking about it? I will see him tomorrow at a party what do I do/say?

    • Honestly, I wouldn't say anything, if he says something first then he actually wants things to work out. Maybe send a text and just say, "Hey, if you want to continue to (hang out/see me) then you (talk/text) to me because I'm not going to keep talking to you and not get a response" If he doesn't say anything then he wants to break it off.

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