Are Health Issues a Hindrance When It Comes to Dating?

Whether it be you or the person you’re interested in, are health issues a factor for not pursuing a intimate relationship? Where do you draw the line? I’m thinking life is too short, health issues shouldn’t matter.
Updates:
All helpful opinions! Glad to see the empathy and strive for happiness. The part that didn’t get touched on much is if YOU are the one with the medical problems, do you keep people at arms length or do you let them in? If they keep you at arms length, how long do you work for them to let you in? Any tips?
Very true which is what we discussed so I will have to wait and see how it progresses.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think this all depends on the specific health issues and what one wants from a relationship.
    For instance, if someone had mental issues which with appropriate medication, could be stabilised/managed, I wouldn't really see that as a hinderance. On the other hand, should she be fully unstable and/or volatile, I really wouldn't consider that person tbh.
    Pretty much, as long as the health issue, physically, mentally, emotionally, etc. is manageable in one way or another and she it isn't exactly something contagious or immediately terminal, I wouldn't even consider it to be an issue.

    Now this isn't necessarily a "health issue" per say but if someone had some genetic defects or tendencies, or just basic genetically make up (blood type, group, etc) that might clash with mine and this was someone I was thinking long-term, kids, etc then of course, health issues will come into play here.
    But I don't want kids, so I guess that's redundant in my case.

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    • If I was the one with health issues, I'll be a bit wary about letting others in (which is my nature regardless) mainly because I'll be scared of being hurt.
      If I did date anyone though, it's something I'd let you know on the first date. That's also my nature, I just lay it all (the possible deal breakers) out on the first date (assuming I see potential with her) and let whatever happens happens.
      If it's meant to be, it'll be

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    • Very true... he specially asked me not to push as he said it’s just how he deals with it and it’s him. Funny because this is just me. When will most men learn being vulnerable at a point like this is not being weak but intimate and sexy. Thanks for your input. It’s extremely helpful😉

    • Since he's told you, you better be careful. You don't want to come off as suffocating.
      About men being okay with vulnerability, well, that's an entirely different story.
      There are some of us who understand that and are cool with exposing that side to loved/trusted ones, but we have our own different set of issues, so, hmmm.

      Sure, no problem. You're welcome.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It matters to men. theyre selfish so they wouldn't want a sick woman. now us women on the other hand are loving

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    • Wow... who hurt you?

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    • I try not to! Age doesn’t matter. You go 24 years in a marriage and then back to dating and it just like your 16 again wondering if “he likes you” and all the other insecurities. But he has been slowly opening up and we did have a discussion of moving forward or ending this because I was tired of the ups and downs of attention and withdraw. So the convo ended well with the understanding that it’s his nature to withdraw and handle it on his own and that I don’t handle being ignored well and expect open communication. So we shall see...

    • Good luck hun , sounds like your off to a good start.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 51

  • Depends on the entire set of circumstances, really, and what the nature of the health issues are. It's hard and emotionally draining to take care of a terminally ill person, just to give one example.

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  • Life being too short is precisely why health issues *do* matter. If I'm in the early stages of dating a girl and I catch wind that there is even a remote possibility of some sort of health complication eventually becoming terminal, I'm out. My heart just couldn't take that shit.

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    • If I were the one with the medical issue, I would make it known as early as possible and they would do with it what yhey would.

    • And if it weren’t terminal?

    • Is it myself or my partner who has a non-terminal health issue in the hypothetical scenario you are proposing?

  • A person's health is definitely a consideration. I'm thinking life is too short, why should I spend it taking care of a sick person when I could just as easily spend it with someone healthier? I enjoy a vigorous sex life. If my partner were ill that might not be possible.

    This is entirely different from a situation where two healthy people marry and one falls ill. They each accepted the risk of changing circumstances.

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  • i don't know how to answer unless i know what kind of health issue are you talking about and how serious the health issue is?

    is it like a:
    1. disabled or handicapped person?
    2. someone diagnosed with cancer and will die within like 6 month?
    or
    3. a person that won't die but has some permanent health issue such as asthma, diabetes, or something?

    1 and 3 i'm okay with, but i'm not so sure about 2

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  • Sure being healthy is a pro, not only because of the life endurance but especially since you won't have as much stress and worries. Someone who'd truly into another, even with his/her condition, will look straight through it without the stupid unnecessary opinions and comments some may throw.

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  • Everybody have their own expectation of dating experience and acceptability. Person A is happy to date anyone while person B only dates healthy people. Either are valid and one can't judge the other. Just a matter of choice or willingness. But know this - people now days are obsessed with high expectation and near perfection. Especially in the west. So there are much lesser people who are willing to date people with health issue, than those who don't.

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  • Who said life was short? A ROUTINE life is short. I imagine living to be 90 in a 3rd world country is looooooooooong AF!

    Health issues are a definite deal breaker. The emotional toll is not worth even getting involved with someone with health issues.

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  • I have ulcerative colitis, so yes and no. I already go into it not expecting anybody to be okay with it, however I have been pleasantly surprised by how the people I've been with never held it against me. It has messed up some dates, because I was too tired to go out or even interact.

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  • If it were my partner i would be fine with it, if it were me, no.

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    • So you don’t mind if a prospective partner has health issues but if you did you just wouldn’t date or pursue someone you’re interested in? Why’s that?

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    • Thanks! I think that’s what I’m dealing with. He’s hesitant because of his issues

    • It will be difficult to reassure him that his difficulties are surmountable without seeming to dismiss or make light of his plight. I hope for the best for you both. Good luck!

  • Hey I'm 33 and I'm a kidney transplant recipient and I worry about that too. It shouldn't be a hindrance, but I do believe it can be depending on the person that you are with and the kind of strong bond that you might have hopefully that would withstand the concern of health issues.

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  • Absolutely yes... and it differs from one person to another... i wouldn’t mind being with someone with terminal disease, life with that person would be the best ever

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  • Yew absolutely. No telling what it will be like but it will always effect it. Dependency, mental, physical, someone will always have to be the one overcoming they're circumstances and then their own mental emotional reaction at the same time. But it will try, test and send characters through trials. We never know what we're signing up for so it's never an excuse. Just a maker of where your at and what you can handle.

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  • Well, from a biological (subconscious) standpoint, we want a partner that is healthy, so our offspring is healthy too.

    Depending on how unhealthy the health issue is making her, she'll have to compensate with personality and character.

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  • Depending on what it is, can be a dealbreaker. Mental health issues are a huge nono.

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  • No I don't think anything should stop you from being with those you truly care about

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  • I've dated women with physical and mental health issues, I mean, its not ideal but I'm not above doing it again. I have a handful of issues on my own.

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  • Don't care. I once banged a woman in a wheelchair with a colostomy bag hanging out of her. It was sitting there filling up with urine. Didn't seem to bother me

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  • It depends. A more specific health issue would make this a clear cut answer.

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  • Yup, we wanna date, not take care of an of something, that's what pets are for. Do you wanna bang your dog?

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  • I don't think it should matter but it does for a lot of people. The line 'in sickness and in health' doesn't apply to many people anymore.

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What Girls Said 24

  • It used to be an issue for me, but when I met this guy I really liked I decided (after a couple of years admittedly) to be open about an issue I have - and it's the best thing I ever did. You're quite right - health issues should not get in the way of a relationship.

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  • Yes and no. My current boyfriend has type one diabetes and we've been together for 4 years. At first it was very iffy for me because he is also 5 years older than me to start off with. The idea that his health condition could take him away from me to early was definitely a thought. I'm not talking about causally dating but a long term relationship. I thought about if we had children and he passed away or he had bad complications that kept him from being able to work or function. Their are a lot of complications with type 1 diabetes. He could go blind, lose a leg, have organ failure. He could die if his blood sugar gets to high or low and isn't corrected promptly properly. After a while I stopped worrying so much but after being with him for a few years I noticed other things like how poorly he managed his condition, like how he constantly ate junk food despite the face it made his blood sugar spike or how he never checks his blood sugar or skips his insulin shots. Then I started getting angry feelings that he didn't care about me or our future if he refused to care for himself. I felt like he was putting me it a crappy situation by letting his condition go with little care. I thought about how him eating junk food and skipping shots could mean later in life that I would end up the one to suffer if he did end up having complications from taking poor care of himself. I don't want to pay for his lack of self love.

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  • If you're going to love someone, you do and even if it's a short amount of time and you know it will be, love them harder. I mean, health can be a quiet underlying thing and that special person could die tomorrow; never hold back and just love that little bit more.

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  • Definitely depends on the person and the health issue at hand. I've dated people with different ailments, including brain cancer, and I dont regret it. It's all relative.

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  • In my opinion, health isn't a issue.
    I'm a committed person and vows come to mind... In sickness and health. But that's just marriage.

    I have been involved with people who use my mental health like PTSD/depression/anxiety against me.

    Hope the best

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  • Health issues only matters, when it takes too much. I have anxiety and asperger syndrom. If we can be comfy, archieve ours wishes and wish to be better for each other, then health issues doesn't matter.

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  • Yes. If we can't enjoy a similar quality of life now (I am in my early 20s). I get that you'd wait for the right person, but it's not something I would "look for". Also, mental health cane be a deal breaker if not properly managed.

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  • Personally, it is not a problem for me, since i have a family history of heart attacks, heart failure, cancer, and multiple other health related issues, It kind of gives you a hope in a sense that you find someone who will truly you despite health issue, but in a twisted way I'd rather be able to fall in love with a poor health person than to love a healthy person because being the romantic person i am, although i will eventually get hurt should they pass on, it gives me the opportunity to live life to the fullest with them and make their time on earth one hell of an amazing one

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    • Interesting! I guess it could be argued that your boyfriend is one lucky fella, for you will love him not just inspite of his health problem, but because of it...
      The more attractive you are, the luckier he becomes, because ur good looks will conceal your own health problems. This is important, because you could have chosen any guy, but instead sided with the guy who is just as unhealthy.
      I wish all women held your view. Male/female relationships would be so utterly devoid of friction and difficulties if this were so...

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    • I will go so far as to say you possess the soul of a hero for being like this. You are not a philanthropist; you aren't out to save someone for your own vainglory. By loving--and falling in love with--someone just like you, then revealing how you are just like him ONLY AFTER YOU DEVELOP ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR HIM AND HE FOR YOU, makes you a hero in the truest sense of the word...

    • Asker, as I said in my response which I'll expand further on, I have the most medical health issues between us including low blood sugar as well as PCOS as well as we both suffer from depression and anxiety, thankfully for us, we didn't take long we started dating and two weeks later I filled him in on the health issues and concerns thinking that he'd run for the hills but thankfully he didn't, he told me that he has memory loss, adhd and a few other health issues and he accepted me just the same as he did when we started dating and that is madly in love, when I'm sick he looks after me in like a nurse and makes sure I'm feeling okay and if not he's there for me and helps me , in all honesty be open with the partner and see how it goes, remember you are your own person so when you're ready and only when you are ready do you tell them.

  • Only health issue i got a problem with is hiv or aids and hpv 1 nd 2 other than that i think i may be able to manage but sometines seeing a person ill or sickly or not as healthy put stress on you especially if u care about them

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  • I think it depends on the issue, sometimes no matter how you feel about the person there has to be a line on what you can take, beacuse in the end you're their partner in a relasinship not their nurse or caregiver.

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  • It really depends if I was dating them whilst the got ill, I'd stand by them and try my best to look after them.

    If they live a unhealthy life style sorry I'm not dating them I want someone I can have a happy long future with and being unhealthy is a massive turn off to me.

    If they have a health conditions I would still date them depending what it was, if it was mental health I wouldn't because wouldn't think they were ready for a relationship and need to focus on themselves firstly and then maybe if they start taking medication and it claims down I would. It a really difficult question and it really depends on lot's of different things

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  • That’s just one of the reasons why I prefer not to be in a relationship. I know I’m probably gonna die soon. Cancer☺️💕

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    • Wtf? Are you serious?

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    • I know ☺️ I feel like it’s gonna happen for me. Time will tell.

    • 😫😫😫😫😫😫😥😥😥😥😥😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😪😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😭😭😭😭😭😭

      So Sad you got lot problems. God bless you

      Good luck. 🍀 🌼🌼🌼🌹🌺🌷🌼🌸🌼🌸🌷🌺🌼🌼🌼🌺🌼🌼🌼🌼🌸🌼🌸🌷🌷🌳🌺🌲🌺🌼🌸🌺🌳🌳🌸🌳🌸🌳🌳🌸🌳🌺🌸💐🌹🌺

  • I wouldn't do it, I mean dating a guy that has can then he dies I mean have you seen the fault in our stars. Not everyone can be strong enough to deal with it.

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  • My ex had Assholish Problematic Behaviour, and I can honestly say it brought MANNNYYYY problems to our relationship

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  • Well u don't have to give up and the person that truly wants to be with you then that person will help u no matter what no matter how hard it is...

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  • My mental health issues makes problem for me. It is a problem for me to get intimate. I allways end up screwing things up for both me and the partner.

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  • I believe it does affect a relationship. my boyfriend is an asthmatic, he would randomly stop breathing during the night. at day time when were doing things it is not that bad, he keeps an inhaler in his jacket pocket aswell as in my purse. but in the beginning the nights were terrifying, I got such a freight waking up to this many times especially when we can't find an inhaler. I had thought that first night that this is insane, dating a guy that stops breathing out of the blue andfrom vigirous activities. im an active person and thought it would prove to be a problem.
    but I do love him and learnt to find inhalers in the dark still half asleep in a matter of seconds

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  • I wouldn’t mind dating someone who has a disability or is ill

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  • Hey,
    I am a single and sexy Gril. if you need hookup. Please text me now (2 1 3) 3 4 0-5 3 0 3

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  • Depends on how severe
    xx
    ~ Mrs Manson

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