How to fix the relationship when you genuinely messed up?

So long story short my boyfriend found out things that i had been doing. Like i would be venting to my friends and bringing him down, i was joking with another friend about someone that i “ like” but I actually dont it was part of a joke, that i went out and i didn't tell him and just a whole lot more. I feel like i really messed our relationship and hurt him. I wasn't thinking at the time on how poorly everything looked so when he saw all of this and was telling me it hurt me that he thought i would cheat on him or that i dont love him because i do love him very much so. He kept saying how would you feel if i did that and i told him he was right. Then he said that most people would jump ship and just leave from all of that but he wasn't going to because he loves me. But then he said i need to make a decision, leave or cut the shit. And i told him i didn't want to lose him. He didn’t reply to me. But as the day went on he tried to be normal and talkative but i can tell that things already changed. He wasn't as lovey he hasn't said i love you as much. he's maybe said it once or twice when before he couldnt stop saying to me. I realized i dont want to lose him and i want to tell him im genuinely sorry but i dont know if writing him or telling him this long thing about how im sorry would change anything... i dont want to make things worse and im scared that might. Im scared that one day he will just change his mind and leave so what can i do to let him know i do care and make him care again like he used to. Or is all this just doomed...

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Most Helpful Guys

  • memegenerator.net/.../...ou-know-that-nowright.jpg

    You just have to rebuild trust and keep being kind and sweet. You dealt a tough blow. You said one of the worse things in implying you like someone else and went out and stuff. Hopefully in time it gets better if not then you know with the next relationship not be so careless with your words.

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  • Actions matter more than words.
    Any time if someone says something negative about him you should defend him so maybe he will believe you didn't mean the negative things you said about him.
    It was pretty messed up, and you can't expect him to believe you really care just because you said sorry.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Ah, well I see the issue here. I think it's going to take him time to recover from this. In the meantime, you need to show him you truly care and love him. Start changing your actions; stop bringing him down, start bringing him up. I vent to my friends about my boyfriend sometimes, but I've learned it never really helps and I usually take things into my own hands because it's MY relationship. Of course you can discuss things with your friends, but I'd keep most of the relationship private because it's YOUR relationship. If there's a problem, you need to discuss it with your partner, not your friends. having others input can really ruin a relationship. I'd do something nice for him, like buy him something he wants if you can afford it, take him out to dinner and you pay, do his favorite activity. Just do something that shows you're making an effort and this is your way of starting fresh.

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  • oh noo. i feel really bad for you. but its really up to him. If he's a good person and really accepts that your sorry then you should be fine. But if he's a painless loser who doesn't love you genuinely than maybe it could be doomed. Hopefully your relationship gets saved.😢

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 13

  • Do stuff to make it up to him:
    -Be more sensible about what you say and where you say it.
    -Reassure him that you love him and respect him, every day if you have to, and not necessarily in words.
    -Minister to him, humour him, and treat him considerate, and may be yours for life.

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  • Back bitching is bad thing to do... if he can let his ego down then he will have you back else goodbye. Try making it up to him make him forget what happened but at the same time dont intrude his space and become too clingy else he will get even more frustrated time will help dont over think things as it may compel you to do things which may not have soo desireable consequences

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  • If you truly loves you he will forgive you yes it will take time I would suggest talking to him communication is the biggest thing in a relationship let him know you realize your mistakes they're not going to happen again and how much you care

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  • If you want it to work he will need time but you will have to show that you are trying to fix the relationship and it will take time humans are sensitive things.

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  • I full on cheated on my girlfriend. Worst thing I've ever done in my life. But we talked. She forgave me and our love is still just as strong

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  • I think the damage has been done. time away from each other might also make him realize how much he cares for uand possibly bring him back again

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  • "You betta run all day and run all night."

    Pink Floyd

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  • Cry at him. We men are emotionally vulnerable to that particular attack.

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  • You Hurts him if he love You its go out with tíme and thinks like this fond doo like mesaging him tell him to the face its alvays better.

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  • So get to the point. What exactly did you do. You didn't cheat so whats the issue?

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  • It sounds like you like your friends more than you like your boyfriends.

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  • Realize u r mistake and apologize to it

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  • i dont agree

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    • Dont agree with what?

What Girls Said 8

  • All you can do is apologise genuinely, and I would suggest doing it in person even if you have to write some things down to make sure you have it all. You don't get to make the decisions anymore because it's up to him if he wants to keep trying. If he does then you'd better be prepared to learn from everything you've done and fix it. If he doesn't want to be with you still then you need to learn from these mistakes.

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  • Well yeah you should have considered the consequences before you did what you have done.

    I totally understand the reaction of you boyfriend and I really doubt he'd be trusting you like before. It's better to move on and learn from this relationship.

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  • "Least said, soonest mended". Old proverb, and very true. Just let him know you are truly sorry, and that you really do love him.

    Then just see how it goes.

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  • Will first you need to tell him that your truly sorry. And you don't want this to be over and you want to remind him that you will never will do somthing that Will miss with his emotion. For that you care deeply about him. And name all the reason you love about him. And tell him that you know that he has a big heart. (as you made it sound to me) That you hope that there room for him to forgive you. BecuaseBecause you love him.

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  • I think you need to show him you really care do thing he like or make seprize date or something but that my opinion... but something my friends always tell me is do what your hart want or what does your hart want... but then again i am only 13

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  • You need to grow up and get some self esteem. because you're insecure about yourself you're trying to project that hatred on him. he deserves better move on and leave him alone. ruin your own life

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  • Tell him all of this!! He is not going to "guess" how much you love him, specially after what happened, but tell him! I think this problem could make the relationship stronger after all, good luck!!!

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  • Express your genuine apologies. The rest is up to him, dear.

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