What would you consider cheating?

I know some people that only consider it to be cheating if you like the person you are being intimate with, others who say flirting with others is just as bad. These are somewhat extremes of each other, so I was wondering what you, personally, would consider cheating.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Matthew 5:27-28

    “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

    (This was right from the mouth of Jesus himself)

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  • It really doesn't matter whether you call it "cheating." If you do something that you must hide from your partner, you have violated their trust.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Something that would potentially hurt your partner that involves another person. It doesn’t necessarily have to be intimate. But things like hanging out, dating, flirting, sexting or anything type of sensual talk of things 2 people would do to or with each other. If it’s something you have to do behind your partners back because you know they wouldn’t like or or be hurt then it’s cheating. Such as if you have friends of the opposite that you can’t introduce to your partner... that’s not your friend and there’s obviously something more going on than just friendly.

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  • I think cheating is anything that you wouldn't do confidently in front of your partner. If you're hiding your conversations from them, lying about who you're seeing, flirting heavily/kissing/touching/having sex with someone without letting your partner know, it's cheating.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 54

  • 1. Intimate conversations that would only be characteristic of a couple.

    2. Any physical contact that is specifically characteristic of a romantic couple, be it a kiss on the lips, or sexual intercourse.

    3. Having feelings for someone else isn't necessarily cheating. Suppressing these feelings completely is rather commendable. Acting on them is definitely cheating.

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  • Well, "cheating" gets into a lot of semantics. I'll not get into the full blown "it isn't technically cheating" debate but I'll say there are lots of things that would cross some boundaries that I'd not like and would probably break up over. They may not be technically full blown cheating but they were things that I don't want from a dating partner so I'd bale.

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  • If you have to think to yourself, "If my boyfriend were here, would I still be doing this?" then you'd better not do it. If it involves another person and you cannot do it in front of me or don't want me to know about it then I'm going to assume you are cheating.

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  • I look at the intent. Flirting is just as damaging as physically cheating. If it hurts your partner's feelings in such a way they feel the trust is gone, that's cheating because you gave them a reason not to trust you. Always think if the same thing occurred to you, how would you feel?

    If I'm spending more time with another person I could see myself interested in, that's cheating. I could be using that same quality time towards my actual relationship

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  • it has to do with "mens rea"- intent. Anything with intent to interest romantically one outside the relationship even if current intent is not to take it "very far."

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  • The only problem I see with saying flirting is cheating is Flirting can be so broadly applied, Like I am a fairly bubbly joking person and I am sure some people could misconstrue it as flirting when its really just the way I talk and act. Hitting on is different of course, if he's commenting on her body and shit then that's not cool.

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  • 2 parts:
    - A relationship where it is understood you won't "see" other people
    - An action, involving an "extra" person, the other person would not approve (assuming a healthy relationship, that is; it would be unfair to apply this with a hyperpossessive SO)

    In short, the boundary is self-defined based on your specific relationship and what each of you fairly expects of the other. Anecdotally, i recommend establishing these boundaries explicitly if you find it necessary to ask about them.

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  • Flirting is not cheating in my opinion. Guys flirt with my wife all the time. Honesty it is nice to be with someone that other find attractive. At the end of the day she is with me. I think it's only cheating if you hide something from you partner. Anything from kiss on I would think is cheating.

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  • Anything you do with another person that you purposefully hide or don't tell your SO. Can range from flirting to chatting online to sex. You are cheating if you don't inform your SO.

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  • I am polyamorous unless we have talked about being committed to each other or we get married with a closed relationship in mind, so this is a non issue for me.

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  • Flirting is not cheating.. Fucking someone other than your SO is.. Its also a dirt bag move.. I crushes a persons heart.. Shatters it and causes great pain,,, It is a disrespectful dirtbag kind of move.

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  • No absolutely not , if your in a bad relationship and not having fun with your partner then mad up or woman up and end it or fix it , don't be going around and cheating on them and waste their time and care for you

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  • Sleeping with, kissing or going on dates with someone whilst you're already in a commitied relationship with someone. Men and women who cheat on they other are lowlife slimy weasels.

    I have never cheated and I would never cheat.

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  • There's a lot of different ways you can cheat and they vary a lot in how I'd react to it. If my partner flirted with someone I wouldn't necessarily break up with them but it'd be a big issue. If my partner physically cheated, she's gone.

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  • Having sex with ( all three types) touching their dick or vagina in any way, flirting with, having feelings for someone else and acting upon it, kissing them, touching their ass or tits, etc. It's a delicate subject since everyone's opinion varies.

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  • anything that amounts to a betrayal with the opposite sex be it emotional or physical. this includes flirting, Having an emotional affair, Going out with that person, and having sex with that person.

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  • Anything you do that you wouldn't do in front of your girlfriend. Or not be able to say I front of her. Is cheating. Including chat rooms. Face book friends that would talk about your woman.

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  • Sex. Oral, Anal or Vaginal.
    Or anything you have to hide from your partner, as many people say in the comments, they're right too. Your conscience is the best judge.

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  • I don't think the technicalities really matter, if someone I'm in a relationship with is flirting with other people then clearly they don't wanna be with me and that's it

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  • If you have to hide an interaction with the opposite sex it was probably cheating

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What Girls Said 20

  • I think any time you think about somebody other than your partner in a romantic way - you are cheating on them.

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  • I think cheating is engaging in sexual or flirtatious behavior with someone who is not a part of your relationship agreement - behavior that would upset or disrespect whoever you have your relationship agreement with.

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  • It depends on the individual but for me it would be the act of sex and emotional attraction. I understand that he might find another woman appealing as I would find a man, but emotional declarations of love is not okay.

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  • I consider cheating to be any emotional, or physical intimacy my partner has with someone other than me that makes him question his feelings/relationship with me.

    Furthermore, I consider “micro-cheating”, or online cheating to be just as bad as cheating in person. Sexting and flirting online are cheating to me.

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  • In my definition, if my man had been secretively sending messages to a another girl, that is cheating. Just like some other GaGers said, if your partner doesn't know what you're doing, that's the definition.

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  • getting in relation ship with someone who truly loves u and u had promised him or her then after sudden left her this is what called as cheating for me
    if u don't love her or him don't promise anything if u do than keep the promise till ur death becoz other person is loving u innocently and truly don't break heart

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  • Your 16! Its not marriage enjoy life and don't have a boyfriend make all the boys your friend until they are old enough to not be stupid, honey. You decide what's cheating but the two people have to communicate boundaries to not cross and agree.

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  • Sigh
    There is physical, emotional, flirting...

    I don't like when my main ex who I had a kid with. He flirted with other women in front if me. Even had kissed and groped a woman in front of me when I was close to finish my pregnancy...

    But to each relationship there's a different story.

    U know if ur cheating if u have a concise.

    But flirting seems to me saying "hey I'm looking/available"
    Intercourse/oral/sex acts are cheating In my opinion
    . thanks !

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  • If they wouldn’t do it in front of me or feel comfortable telling me about it then they’ve crossed some line in that realm

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  • I would considering it cheating if they were to kiss the other person. Friends can be close. And men and women can be friends. But I'd also consider kissing someone else worse than having sex with someone else.

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  • Aside from that blatantly obvious premeditated actions of passion, the line must be drawn at the point where you find yourself asking this question.

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  • Kissing and sex as well as sending nudes or Sexting do I consider as cheating

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  • Flirting behind my back, kissing, sending nudes, sex.

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  • Being intimate with is considered cheating. Even if it's just for fun and your partner loves you more.

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  • Keeping secrets finding out from significant other lying about is cheating to me.

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  • No. Never ever.

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    • Misread your question. Cheating in my opinion would be doing something I know he would not approve of, and/or would hurt him/not trust me any longer. Flirting is not as bad, but it depends on the intention behind the flirting (no sex talk). Cheating is so subjective.

      I knew this guy a long time ago. I remember listening to him talk to his posse about sex stuff he did with women. Anal sex, blowjobs, fingering, kissing, etc. He had a girlfriend. I heard, and said, you're cheating on your girlfriend. He said no, he wasn't. His idea of cheating is putting his penis in a another girls vagina. That's it. I asked if he would be fine with his girl doing that stuff with other guys. He said he would dump her. I said, so you agree its cheating. Again he adamantly denied it. But it made me realize that everyone knows what cheating is. But the lines are blurred based upon what the person wants, and if their SO believes their lines of appropriateness are the same.

  • Flirting and beyond is cheating

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  • What it says in the bible. “Thee shouldst love and cherish thy following as thee loveth thy first.” (Moses 2:9).

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  • Nope

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  • Doing anything with another person is cheating. That’s why you shouldn’t have friends when you’re in a relationship.

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