Does it sound like my boyfriend is jealous?

I told him that I used to talk online for 6 hours a day when I was out of school and unemployed 6 years ago and he asked me who I was talking to.

Another time I told him a guy gave me a ride home from church and he asked me why I accepted a ride from him instead of taking the bus home out of respect for my relationship with him.

Today I told him I was at church and would be leaving for home at around 12:00 and he asked me about 4-9 questions about why I came home from church so late.

I told him the pastor was giving me a ride home and then he asked me how often my male pastor gives me rides home.

there are other examples - but I am fuzzy on the details right now.

It seems like he is super super jealous over me.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He is jealous, but you need to comfort him and make him trust you. Anybody's jealousy is curable.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The first example is actually normal and anyone would be curious as to who you were talking to. The second is quite normal and it does seem like he's jealous over it and he sort of has a right to be because we all get a bit jealous sometimes. The third, he probably did get a bit jealous, especially if guys keep giving you rides home.

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What Guys Said 46

  • I would say he is definitely a bit jealous or has some trust issues he needs to work out, especially the thing from 6 years ago. If this happened with my girlfriend, the fact that she even told me in the first place would reinforce my trust in her and I wouldn't be suspicious of anything. He definitely seems a bit abrasive when there is any other male involved in your life which can be a problem

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  • Do you think he shouldn't be? Change thinking and more respect to your relationship. Having a ride from unknown people would make concerns to anyone. Having conversations 6hours a day... Read your article 100 times till you understand what are you asking... Or maybe you rather be with a partner who doesn't care what and with whom you spending time... Cmon...

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  • May not be jealous. But it's trust issues. You need to have a CALM talk with him. If you guys want to make this relationship works both of you need to make compromises. If you guys willing to make compromise to keep this relationship, then tell each other perhaps he needs to ask less questions and sort out his trust issues while you stop taking all the free car lifts offered to you. (Accept 50% and reject 50% of the offer.) And for the love of God pray about this problem you guys have.

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  • Dear Jennifer, We can say he's jealous but he's insecure too. Boyfriend's often have this and specially when they have trust issues, I'm not saying he doesn't trust you but sometimes males have a mindset that girls cheat, or sometimes they never feel like they deserve you so when they have you they call it luck and get insecure and it can also be that he is like that he doesn't believe things easily, maybe he was cheated in past (this can be done by any human and not only girlfriend).

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  • look I've been cheated on before so I don't trust anyone until proven trustworthy. I was friends with this girl for 8 years and we dated for a month just for me to know that it was very possible she cheated on me the first three days that we started dating and ended up seeing proof with my own eyes. So I'd be a little worried and suspicious of every scenario that popped up after that kind of abuse. You need to build trust with your partner to the point where he's not going to worry about you on your own anymore. You can't expect instant trust in a relationship, the fact that he's dating you and getting jealous tells me 2 things for sure. One that he's interested in you and two that he's making an effort to trust you. Or he's up to an affair behind your back and trying to keep tabs on you but as long as he doesn't control you like a heavy narrcasist then chances are it's making him insecure and you need to take steps to make it better. Telling him to hit the road is no better then the last girl breaking his heart because you're just leadin him on without the responsibility of being in a good relationship.

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  • Jealous of what exactly?

    Based on the examples given you have given rise to some questionable behavior on your part.

    Online with guys for 6 hours a day
    Taking rides from some guy
    Numerous male pastor rides.

    Whos the idiot in this situation?

    Your not exactly helping your boyfriend trust you with thia activity

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  • Real question is : why don't he goes to church with you? It would solve his trust issues since they are all related to you getting rides from various people 😂

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  • Well, jealously is a completely normal, natural human emotion just like joy, fear, anger... etc. so it isn't out of the norm for all people to feel jealous at times. It isn't taboo or anything.

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  • You're making room to doubt and loss of trust in your relationship wich will destroy it sooner or later.
    And there is no jealousy here as you described. This called doubt and loss of trust.
    I would ask the same to my girlfriend if she did what you did. If she don't consider respecting our relationship I'll end it and end of story.

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  • He might naturally be more of an insecure person but you are not helping this situation in any way. What you are doing will only make him feel more and more jealous.

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  • Yes he does sound a bit. Put yourself in his shoes, he asked the name to be intintive in the conversation because he cares for you. It's hard for you and him, it shoes by your reaction that person had a big impact on you someway somehow emotionally and haven't let everything from past relationships go. He is jealous from confusion and hurt, possibly causing anger because he knows and can feel it. Nobody wants to share what is most important to them!

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  • He is clearly insecure.. That's never a good thing. I don't know why some people think that is cute. Those situations could get ugly.

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    • Yeah but dont you think its weird she keeps hitching rides from random men? I mean you telling me she can't catch a ride with a woman or a married couple? something's off here

  • Sounds like you are dating a creep. Get away from THAT!

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  • yes. he is super jealous. watch out. you need to talk to him and let him know there are boundaries and that he doesn't own you.

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  • I would say he is jealous. Sounds like he also has trust issues.

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  • Look. Jealousy is a good thing and refer to his love to you and that he worried about you.. you can talk with him about this issues and explain to him as example why you have to had a ride before..

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  • I've had this exact situation happen to me. Its because every relationship I've been in I've been cheated on and am protective so yes I see his side of it

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  • This is a huge red flag. If you marry this guy you will be a prisoner in your own home.

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  • Jelly for sure. And probably cheated on like nyc asked. Can confirm, have been there. I will probably never trust a woman again.

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  • If he doesn't have the balls to ask you back out then fuck him

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    • "In respect for ur relationship" hahaha... jus tell him "we ain't together no more... I can do the fuck what I like"

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What Girls Said 24

  • That jealousy can be very flattering but I would like to point out that this sounds like a red flag. Jealousy like this can be the beginning of a controlling relationship. Right now he's suggesting there's something between you and your pastor (and boyfriend doesn't go to church w you? Correct? ] next thing you know you won't be going to that church anymore because boyfriend is uncomfortable with you being there. Just something to consider, I might be way off base.

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  • @jennifer_bloom I would say that its a clear sign of insecurity, not jealousy. Personally for me, I don't have to explain myself myself or the choices I make because I am an adult and I know what my intentions are. I don't disagree with a little bit of reassurance & respect, but I don't tippy toe around insecurities. I was in a relationship that turned toxic ridiculous because he couldn't get over himself. I thought reassurance was helpful but it fed the fire and suffocated me.

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  • I laughed out loud when I read that he wanted you to take the bus home instead of accepting a ride. If a man told me that, I'd be giving him choice words.

    He sounds extremely insecure and I think that caring for man-babies would be exhausting. If he's worth it to you, I would have a serious conversation about his emotional hang-ups. Otherwise, there are other men who are secure enough in themselves to not be so ludicrous.

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    • You would be cool if your boyfriend was regularly taking rides home from female strangers?

    • @Devon_Ten I'm not insecure. But I wouldn't be dating a guy who doesn't have a car. If it's necessary for him to get home (as in drunk) or he simply needs a ride, why would I be opposed to it?

    • That's a one time thing. The OP is talking about regularly taking rides home from men.

  • Every single boyfriend is jealous in dome type of way, but you should consider not accepting rides from this many guys even if it's the pastor we're talking about. They say jealousy is a sign of true love. So just understand him cuz he is somehow right. I'd also be jealous if i were him. My boyfriend never let's me go out with guys he doesn't know or unless I'm with my girl friends. So yes he is jealous and that's normal , he is also worried about you. So be grateful

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  • Yeah he's probably jealous and insecure. Talk to him about it in a nice way and if he gets angry that's not a good sign and it's not going to be a healthy relationship. Sounds like he doesn't trust you and maybe he was cheated on before?

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  • Well for one, this seems like a big red flag and for two he sounds like he has trust issues and that's not good, he also seems like he doesn't trust you. Also, for all of you getting on her about getting rides from guys she knows and are probably friends with need to understand that she can have guy friends outside of her relationship.

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  • It sou ds like he's possessive, I would be careful and make sure his jealously doesn't get totally out of control. He is not your boss but a partner and he needs to trust you even if he doesn't trust the guy
    My husband has no problem with me going out with a guy friend because he knows I'll never do anything. Your boyfriend is really jealous and shouldn't have worried about your friends or pastor because he should trust you.

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  • That doesn't sound like insecurity and trying to justify it by being cheated on before isn't an excuse. I've been cheated on but that doesn't mean that I demand my boyfriend account for every second he's not around me. That is straight up control and abuse. Especially the one 6 years ago. If I were you, I would seriously re-evaluate your relationship.

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  • It doesn’t sound like he’s jealous, it sounds like he doesn’t trust you and wants to account for your time.

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  • Yep, and worried you will cheat on him. Most likely he has been cheated on before and is overly concerned about it happening again.

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  • He is just overprotective... And maybe a bit insecure... I experiment thus with my guy too... Most of my friends are males, and while he is not verbal about it, I can se it bothers him to a certain level, am a bit younger then him and I think he is afraid he is not enough, and all the males around me just wait for him to fuck it up so they can take his place... Witch is not true. Is not a healthy mindset but try to reassure him that he is the one you love... He just doesn't want to lose you, that's all.

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  • My ex used to become jealous and always questioned me why I was working an hour extra... Or why I took so long to get home because I went to buy food. In the end he was the one cheating. So some just project to us what they think or do.

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  • You're 32 years old. why are you catching rides with random men? are you a prostitute?

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  • Kinda seems a bit Insecure like he doesn’t trust you. And if he doesn’t want you getting a ride then maybe he ought to pick you up 🤔

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  • Definitely sounds like he's jealous. you're not doing anything wrong

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  • I think he is actually really jealous but that's only because he's overprotective and cares about you

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  • Has a anyone cheated on him in the past? It could be possible that he's just holding onto past resentment and taking it out on you.

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  • I wouldn't mind, but if You feel uncomfortable about it Block him.

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  • Oh why don’t I ever find a jealous boyfriend...

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  • I would dump his insecure ass.

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