Most Helpful Guys
When you don't judge others for what's been done to you in your previous relationship. When you see someone for who they are & not what they could or should be.
Just try and go on a date, if you feel like your forcing yourself then it's too soon, and apologies to the one your on the date with.
Most Helpful Girls
I feel like you have 2 options:
1. Wait until you meet someone that makes you want to try dating again. This is good because you know you're ready, but it's bad because while waiting you might be holding yourself back and becoming complacent with your situation.
2. Try going on a few dates, even if you're not 100% sure. I say a "few" because if the first person you meet is a dud then you may once again be holding yourself back. If you try a few dates and your heart just isn't in it, don't force it. It's ok to take your time.
I do think it's important though to get out and do thing with friends, or try to make new friends to get yourself re-energized socially. I've found that even if I'm not looking for a date, it does help me feel a bit more "healed" which helps move me forward to wanting to try and put myself out there romantically again.
When you've dated someone for many years, there may always be some level of feelings there just because you have a lot of history together but when those feelings have diminished and you're no longer grieving the end of the relationship, I think it's okay to start dating again. It's hard to pinpoint an exact time when you'll feel like "okay, I'm over it and ready to date again." I think it just happens gradually. Over time, you will start feeling more "normal" and interested in meeting new people, that's likely when you'll know you are ready to start dating again.